I Listened To My Wife

>> Saturday, December 20, 2008

“Get ready for our trip to Mexico,” she said.

“Build a base-tan,” she said.

“This place sells 1/2 sessions,” she said.

Well, do they sell 1/8 sessions? Because a 1/2 session worked a little TOO well (note my regular skin-tone in my armpits):

Notice in that last photo how I burned more where there was less hair. That’s God’s way of telling me to keep my body hair and to not go tanning.

Am I ready for Mexico now? Who wants to come over and rub aloe on my back?

(p.s. Pharmie didn't MAKE me go. It's not her fault. The first 3 lines of this post were just for effect...)


joyRuN 7:38 AM, December 20, 2008  


How about forgetting the base tan & just slathering on the SPF100 for the whole time? Your skin looks a little sun-averse :)

C 7:54 AM, December 20, 2008  

Ouchie. Best just to soak in a vat of aloe, me thinks. That way you can peel off in one go, like a snake. :)

Unknown 7:58 AM, December 20, 2008  

I'm with JoyRuN - skip the base tan and use some good sunscreen.

Michelle 8:17 AM, December 20, 2008  

I will, i will, i will

Rub aloe on your back!!!

WOOHOO!!! Have fun!!!

Born To Endure 11:13 AM, December 20, 2008  

When and where will you be in Mexico? I'm leaving soon. Let me know...

Sarah 11:56 AM, December 20, 2008  

Are you SURE that was a 1/2 session?! Yikes

Steve Stenzel 12:24 PM, December 20, 2008  

I'm COMPLETELY sure it was a 1/2 session. I didn't trust the timer on the bed, so I double checked on my watch. It was a 1/2 session down to the second.

My problem is just that I'm sooo pale...

Anonymous,  12:31 PM, December 20, 2008  

Im so not laughing AT YOU.

with you.

are you laughing??

GoBigGreen 12:46 PM, December 20, 2008  

Monday i will show you my melanoma scar. And then you can have a GOOD reason to just not tan...in a bed or on the beach..sadly...I know.

Marathon Maritza 12:50 PM, December 20, 2008  

it always looks red at first but it'll be a nice tan in a few days and you won't be Mr. Pale in Mexico! :)

Felice Devine 1:58 PM, December 20, 2008  

Eek! Ack! Oock! Owzer!

You should've just gone for the spray-on tan.

Unknown 2:49 PM, December 20, 2008  

This is definitely GROSS !!!!

Kelly 3:02 PM, December 20, 2008  

Ouch! Try spray-tan next time... or try wearing a light sunscreen. Or try... I dunno... NOT tanning.

Anonymous,  3:14 PM, December 20, 2008  

You were so careful not to burn them, now look! Steve "The Lobster" Stenzel.

From the back, you look like a Swedish wrestler. Tor Johnson in "Bride of the Monster"
or "The Beast of Yucca Flats."

I bet it glows in the dark. Saves on tree lights, but scares kitty something aweful.

If you go jogging topless Christmas Eve (in pink tights, too, as we all know is your wont), they'll think you're Lobstora, attacking Santy Claus....

Please, wack that guy.

P.S. Chowder, anyone?

Anonymous,  4:05 PM, December 20, 2008  

In the future you should use Sunblock SPF Level Vampire.

KimsRunning 5:19 PM, December 20, 2008  

Oh boy.

Have a blast in Mexico!!!!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg 6:20 PM, December 20, 2008  

Tonight, on The Cannibal Channel ...

Braised Minnesotan.

Should Minnesotans be eaten with the fingers?

Yes, because it's sooo much trouble to remove the fingers.

(But ... remove the toes. They're sooo hairy. And blistery.)

Casey 6:30 PM, December 20, 2008  

I vote yes on issue sun block.

Anonymous,  6:38 PM, December 20, 2008  

When are you going to Mexico? From here on out, your 1/2 sessions, need to be 1/2 of a 1/2.

Ow..that looks painful.

Nicole 6:47 PM, December 20, 2008  

ouch...soaked tea bags might help...although that's a lot of tea bags!

BaddApple 6:52 PM, December 20, 2008  

You should have gone for the spray tan like all the stars. That's what happens when Minnesotans try to tan in the winter. Are bodies are not ready for it.

Scheri 7:59 PM, December 20, 2008  

Ouch! Lovely introduction, btw. First time coming to your blog and I get to check out your red hot bod, ha! I think they still do spray on tans somewhere. ;-)

Jumper 2.0 9:17 PM, December 20, 2008  

Be thankful you didn't tan in the buff!

Now that would hurt!

Jumper 2.0 9:19 PM, December 20, 2008  

Just don't do this!


Ryan 5:36 AM, December 21, 2008  

Who knew a Yeti could get sunburned?

Marci 7:37 AM, December 21, 2008  

The reason we do triathlons is to have good tan lines... why get a tan any other way?

Jess 9:08 AM, December 21, 2008  

You pale Minnesotans need to pace yourselves with exposure to the UV rays.

Nat 10:41 AM, December 21, 2008  

I hate to break it to you but I think you, like me, have two shades. Very white or Very red...

Ouch! Does sunscreen come in SPF 2,000?

X-Country2 12:13 PM, December 21, 2008  

Only you would strip down to your undies and take pictures of yourself to prove a point. Good luck trying to sleep.

chia 12:38 PM, December 21, 2008  

Reminds me of the time I actually coated the wall of my shower in aloe just so i could slather it on the bits i couldn't reach on my back.

Be thankful you have a kind sweet Pharmie to do it for you :-P

Meg 4:12 PM, December 21, 2008  

Geez...that's crazy. I can't imagine what the sun will do to you! Have a great trip!

Jade Lady 12:17 AM, December 22, 2008  

Well, your wife has the right idea - but, you do need to go to shorter sessions until your skin can handle it. Better to prep now...so you can enjoy being outdoors in MX. Is this your holiday vacation?

Julia 2:41 AM, December 22, 2008  

Hey Steve, did you notice how your upper body is changing a little? Looks to me like the exercise sessions are building more muscle. Yawza!!

RBR 11:12 AM, December 22, 2008  

Dammit! I know better. Do NOT drink coffee while opening Steve's posts.

Now, excuse me while I clean snorted coffee off my computer screen.

Neutrogena has a spray on Sunblock SPF 70. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your "base tan" will be inadequate to protect your lilly-whiteness from the Mexico sun.

Have a great time in Mexico!

RooBabs 3:03 PM, December 23, 2008  

I've heard the vinegar is good for taking out the burn. Maybe not so good for staying married ('cause you'll stink to high Heaven), but then again, neither is forcing your spouse to go for a half-session (j/k). :~P

K 3:30 PM, December 31, 2008  

I am so happy that I am a natural "mocha" color. God I can't believe you have to go through all that. Ouch.

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