Friday Funny 14: Mall Santas

>> Friday, December 12, 2008

The holiday season is upon us. Here is a countdown of the 10 Worst Kinds of Mall Santas. Enjoy.

10. Pull-My-Finger Santa:

9. Narcoleptic Santa:

8. Touchy-Feely Santa:

7. Super-Sweaty Santa:

6. Bad-With-Baby Santa:

5. Lap-Dance Santa:

4. Crappy-Fake-Beard Santa:

3. Skinny Santa:

2. Flashing Santa:

1. Sneak-A-Drink Santa: (that brown liquid in a water bottle isn’t fooling anyone)

p.s. Intervals at the Metrodome on Tuesday. 6 pm. $1. More details on Monday. Happy weekend!!


Anonymous,  1:04 AM, December 12, 2008  

Santa No.5 looks suspiciously like Steve.

Aka Alice 1:45 AM, December 12, 2008  


That's all...

Ryan 3:41 AM, December 12, 2008  

What about: punch a kid cuz you peed on me Santa...or is that just me?

Shannon 6:08 AM, December 12, 2008  

#4 Santa looks like he's been hitting too many crown royals & coke.

duchossois 6:21 AM, December 12, 2008  

They're all good. I especially like the little boys eyes as Santa sneaks a drink.

Steve Stenzel 7:24 AM, December 12, 2008  

Jen, if anything, I look a bit like #3. And I'd be doing what #2 is doing...


joyRuN 7:35 AM, December 12, 2008  

LOL! This is precisely why I can't get my daughter anywhere near a mall Santa. Or any Santa for that matter.

K 8:17 AM, December 12, 2008  

How about grimreaper-santa?

Jess 8:27 AM, December 12, 2008  

Ick, Mall Santas must be crawling with germs.

Missy 8:39 AM, December 12, 2008  

Jess is sooo right - Mall Santas are akin to a grocery have been drooling all over them, picking their nose and peeing themselves...ewwwww

Glaven Q. Heisenberg 8:49 AM, December 12, 2008  

I think it's wonderful that Santa #2 would want to share his jingle balls with the people.

Now we know why Mrs. Claus is always smiling!

Marlene 9:53 AM, December 12, 2008  

Thanks for the chuckle!

Kelly 10:18 AM, December 12, 2008  

When I was younger, I COULD NOT wait to go meet Santa. But he was super creepy, and all I did was cry the entire time.

Chic Runner 12:11 PM, December 12, 2008  

Wow, where do you find this stuff! I love it, and it's gross all at the same time. :/

Alisa 2:59 PM, December 12, 2008  

Eeeeek! Scary Santas'! Flashing Santa is all kinds of wrong.

Coach Liz 3:46 PM, December 12, 2008  

The Flashing Santa one is hilarious! I love that mother shielding her kid's eyes. ROTFL!!!

X-Country2 4:30 PM, December 12, 2008  

The creepy touching one is the best. That little girl was taught all about the stranger danger.

Michelle 4:56 PM, December 12, 2008  

HAHA another great friday funnies!!!

Have a great weekend Steve!!!

Amytrigirl (aka Amybee) 5:00 PM, December 12, 2008  

I can not believe that, in the 18 comments above, no one has gone for the obvious:


triguyjt 7:11 PM, December 12, 2008  

those pics...the kids think about as highly of santa as they do Jason...gheesh

The Bear Cub Bakery 10:32 PM, December 12, 2008  

How bad is it that -- even as a health blogger -- I still think the Skinny Santa is the worst of all?

Also, the Pull-My-Finger Santa reminds me a great deal of this:

nwgdc 12:01 AM, December 13, 2008  

i LOVE the fake spring wate rsanta. hilarious! i wish i had a metrodome to run in. NOT TO WATCH FOOTBALL GAMES IN, THOUGH. PLAY OUTSIDE!

but the metrodome would be handy in training for my next indoor marathon.

by the way, steve, spots are still available!!! i'll provide the lodging for you and pharmie also! check it out at

Sonia 11:29 AM, December 13, 2008  

These are hilarious, this one is from a friend of mine:

I thought you would get a kick out of this! His older son did not enjoy seeing Santa!!

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