Friday Funny 2589: Spongebob Memes

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Week in Review: Big Training Time Numbers, Missed (Outdoor) Bike Ride

Here's what last week's training looked like:

23 hours and 54 mins of overall training is the biggest since tracking my workouts on Final Surge (since November). My strength time might be a weekly PR at 14 hours and 47 mins, but that's partly due to doing some extra shoulder exercises for my PT. And 6 hours and 49 minutes of saddle time is the 2nd biggest in the last few months (just behind my birthday week 6 weeks ago where I got in some good rides and a long birthday spin totalling just over 7 hours - but that week had a bit less overall training time at 23:32 compared to 23:54 last week).

• MON: shorter long run and PT legs. I posted about this "long run test run" later last week. It went OK! Nothing fancy, but decent speed.

• TUES: good upper body, and moderate spin. Again, good upper body, but then just an easier spin in the afternoon after that "test" run the day before. I just did 75 mins with 2x10 min efforts:

• WED: easy run, and good PT legs and core. The 2 bike rides on Wednesday were just easy rides on my mountain bike taking Charlie to school and picking him up from baseball as I posted about on Monday. Otherwise, just a decent day of workouts.

• THURS: good upper body and long trainer ride. This bike workout started out more depressing as I had a specific window of time to get in a good outdoor ride, but it started raining. It was light at first, so I got all my outdoor gear on and got my bike hauled up from the basement, but it was just a bit too wet when I stepped out the door. Dang. But I turned that depressing lack-of-an-outdoor-ride around pretty quick because I cranked out a decent indoor workout. I never do 15 minutes efforts on the bike, but I did 4x15 min efforts as a longer trainer ride:

A good long trainer ride!

• FRI: easy run and good PT legs and core. I saw THREE turkeys in different spots around the neighborhood on this run! It's common to see a small flock, but usually down by the river. To spot 3 turkeys in 3 different areas is rare:

On Summit Ave.


On Fairview Ave.


On the Marshall Hill.


Looping run still sticking close-ish to home because of a sore calf.
Turkeys spotted at split 4, 6.5, and 9.

• SAT: long ride and good upper body. First a good upper body workout in the morning. And then I got out late afternoon on a nice ride. I had no goals - just to ride (that's rare!). I sort of kept it "moderate" most of the way through, but didn't push too hard. I did a basic 26 mile out-and-back route down Big Rivers, but I tacked on a lot of extras to end with 41 miles:

All 5 mile splits. Normally I turn around before split 3 to nearly hit 30 miles.


I found 2 nice new hills on a re-paved trail along Lone Oak Road.

41 miles with a 19.0 mph overall average is fine. Nothing amazing, but a good long(-ish for me) ride.

• SUN: core. Just a rest day with some walking, stretching, and core work.

My total training time looks good (and "normal"), but my individual workouts weren't anything special, especially my runs as I'm coming back from this calf injury. My strength time was great, and so was my saddle time. But I need to work on more SHORTER / HARDER bike workouts. My biking time is going to be "odd" for a few weeks as Charlie has baseball games and Henry has track meets on a lot of the days that I try to get in my rides. I'll make it work in whatever way I can!

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Post-Colonoscopy Long Run

Monday's long run was weird for LOTS of reasons:

1. I'm still getting over a calf injury, so I wasn't sure how far was a "safe" distance.

2. It was my first run later in the day in YEARS. I ran at 5:30 pm, 12 hours before/after when I normally run.

3. It was raining... a gross 50 degree rain. So I wore tights to keep my sore leg warm, something I rarely do.

4. The night before was my first night NOT in the "night splint" in nearly 4 weeks!

5. I had recently had a burrito. 100% of my runs (except for races) happen on a totally empty stomach.

6. Before that burrito, I'd been on a clear liquid diet for the previous 46 hours (nearly 2 full days). Because...

7. I just had my first colonoscopy 4 hours prior.

Yep, I'd spent the weekend doing a super fun colonoscopy prep. It honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! I was ready to be miserable and hungry the entire time, but that wasn't an issue. Once the "clear liquids only" diet started, it was hardest to remember not to snack! I'm a snacker, and I'd always walk into the kitchen for a handful of cereal or a pickle or something, and have to remember "Oh wait! No! I can't eat anything!..."

Friday and Saturday were "low fiber" days. I actually like to eat a lot of fiber, so that was just a bit tricky. We had pizza, I made a cheese quesadillas, and then I grilled steaks on Saturday night. I mindlessly messed up a moment on Saturday night by having a handful of raspberries, but that ended up not being a problem.

Sunday was all clear liquids only: I had 2 bowls of Jello throughout the day, a diet mountain dew, a diet 7-up, and a lot of chicken broth. I wasn't suffering. From 4-6 pm is when the fun started: I had an entire bottle of Miralax between two big bottles of Gatorade (a glass full every 15 minutes for 2 hours). I actually felt full and gross after that, even though I'd had so few calories all day. And then around 6:40, THINGS started to happen. Liquid things. Liquid butt things.

Point #4 above about not spending the night in the "night splint" was because I didn't want to take that off and on all night as I got in and out of bed to use the bathroom. I slept poorly with a gurgly stomach, but didn't get up THAT much (10 p.m., 1:30 a.m., and 3:00 a.m.). I got up early on Monday pondering if I should run, but I didn't feel up to it.

I had one more bottle of laxatives at 9 a.m. on Monday morning (and a bottle of Sprite), and then cut all liquids at 10 a.m. before my 1 p.m. appointment time.

Plenty of room in my gown.


Yes, my wife took this photo without me knowing. But I have 0 modesty.


IV in, ready to go!

I came back 25 minutes later and my wife took a lot of videos of me babbling about things I don't recall. I was back in the procedure room as the nurse started putting the drugs to make me sleep in my line, and I remember thinking "Oh, I hope they work well, because I'm not even getting drowsy yet..." and then LITERALLY the next thing I know, I'm mid-sentence with my wife back in the recovery room (we'd been talking for like 4-5 minutes), and 25 minutes had passed. No "I'm starting to get sleepy..." Just awake one moment, and then RE-waking up 25 minutes later! WILD!

Here are some clips my wife took as I was waking up. Some back-story: First, the "best wife ever" comments came from me writing that on my intake form noting who was going to be my driver. The woman at the front desk loved that, and teased that she was honored to be in the presence of the BEST wife ever. Second, I had contacted my doctor about getting a vasectomy, and we joked that they should offer 2-for-1 deals while getting a colonoscopy. So when I started saying that I saw a message on MyChart from my doctor, I thought it could have been about a vasectomy, but it was just about an upcoming physical therapy appointment for my shoulder. And third, the FIRST thing I remember in this video is saying "MyChart" at the 1:51 mark. Right before that I joked about still having to use a condom (around the 1:35 mark), and I do not remember saying that (or anything before that):


Direct link: youtu.be/wN2ZZhuqR50

We had Chipotle, picked Charlie up from school, and I got ready to run. I was hoping to do 10+ miles with 5 of those being harder in the middle, but it was cold and rainy, so I didn't know. (4 weeks ago was a normal long run of 11+ miles with 6 harder miles in the middle, 3 weeks ago was NO run as I was injured, 2 weeks ago was a 4.5 mile "test" run, and 1 week ago was an 8 mile run with a few harder miles in the middle like a normal long run [just 2 miles shorter overall with 2 fewer harder miles in the middle as well].)

But I just felt WORKED OVER. I knew I wasn't going to get to 5 miles of harder miles, but I was planning on 4.5 miles. But after 4 miles, I just found myself easing up. I was hashed from the last few days. It felt like my heart rate was high, and it turns out it was: 4 weeks ago, it averaged 158 bpm for my long run, and for this shorter run with fewer hard miles, it averaged 168 bpm. My body was over it.

A turkey near the Merriam Park Library on my longer cool down.


A wet dog after 10.03 miles.


I WANTED to run hard from split 5 to 15 (half mile splits),
but eased up at split 13 after 4 harder miles.

My "hard" 4 miles in the middle were some of my slowest "hard" miles in recent years at 6:31 pace. Usually in the 6:0xs is good, 6:10s is average, and 6:20s is bad. And that's usually for 6 "hard" miles, not just 4. I was pooped! (Pun intended.)

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Family Sports News

A few quick things happening in out world of sports last week...

Henry ran his 2nd track meet on Tuesday, and he did the 3200 for the first time. He's still coming off a knee injury, so his training has not been great. He said his goal was to break 13:00, and I told him that was weak. I told him I thought he could break 12:20, and he finished in 12:13. Guess dad knows what's up!

Go Henry!!

The next morning was Earth Day, and Charlie and I celebrated by biking to school. And then he biked to baseball practice after school, and I biked to pick up him from baseball. And then we biked along Ayd Mill Road for the first time to get home:

Heading home against rush hour traffic (obviously).
I'm wearing Charlie's baseball gear on my back.

Thursday night was Charlie's swim team banquet, and he picked up his 2 ribbons from a previous meet, and then his 3 ribbons from state:

His blue ribbon was from a relay, and his 3rd place in state was a relay as well.

Friday night was the high school "Elite Meet" at Hamline University. The best high school runners are invited to compete in almost like a "pre-state state meet." My nephew Ian is a good hurdler, and he competed in the 300 high hurdles, and he finished right in the middle of the pack (5th of 9) to finish 5th in the state! (His time was 39.52 if that means anything to you.)

Some sweet back-lit shots at 7:30 pm! Congrats Ian!!

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Testing my Calf on a "Long" Run

After not running for a week and then doing some easy runs last week, I thought it was time for a little test for my sore calf.

My Monday runs are usally long runs: 11+ miles with the middle 6 faster/harder. I wasn't going to just jump up to that distance and intensity, but I still used that as a guide for this run. So I planned to run 8 miles with the middle 4 faster/harder. And I altered my course from being a strict out-and-back to one that put me a mile from home at mile 4, then also just about a mile from home at mile 5.5 as well - I had a way to get home easier if there were problems. (My normal route still has me about a mile from home at mile 4, but then if I just turned around at that point, I'd still be running hard at mile 5.5 and I'd be 2.5 miles from home at that point, and things could go south there!)

So I did this weird route to stay close-ish to home as I was wrapping up my harder miles, also adding on a little jaunt to the west (split 11) to avoid having to go up a bigger hill to the south:

Half-mile splits, running hard from split 4-12.

The colors on the map show that I still negative split the harder miles like I normally do, starting as more yellow/green and turning more orange/red. And that was after starting out with a 3:04 opening half mile split! I was thrilled to see that, and then super curious if I'd be able to hold on! So my speed didn't totally die after 2 weeks of either no running or no hard running. I was SOOO curious what that opening split was going to be: I figured it would be around 3:20, and did NOT expect a 3:04!

The half mile splits of my harder 4 miles in the middle were:

3:04, 3:06, 3:03, 3:00, 3:01, 2:58, 3:05, 2:53 = 24:14 (6:03.50 / mile)

Mile splits of 6:10, 6:04, 5:59, and 5:59

It was a bit uphill to split #11 when I headed west to add in a few more blocks, and that REALLY showed up in my pace. That's a bit concerning for my fitness level (or "loss of fitness" from being injured) as this drop in pace near the end of my harder middle miles is WILD for it not being a big hill:

I'm talking about the drop in pace around 35 minutes in.

But other than that VISIBLE slow-down in my pace chart, I like I how it generally trends perfectly upward (sort of matching my heart rate as well). That's a nice sign that I was able to keep speeding up.

My left calf got a LITTLE sore later that afternoon, but I kept it under control. I've been massaging it a lot, and foam rolling too. And I'm still wearing the night splint as I sleep so my calf won't be super tight when I wake up in the mornings.

I'm FAR from "out of the woods" yet with this calf issue, but this was a hopeful sign that things are moving in the right direction.

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Friday Funny 2588: Not My Job!

Lots more funnies on SportsAndLaughs.tumblr.com. HAPPY WEEKEND!!

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