Joe Plant 5K Race Report

Or, “Avoiding ‘Dingleberry’ Status”

Or, “Runnin’ On My Own In Short Shorts”

Joe Plant was a young marathon runner who was in training to fulfill his lifetime dream of becoming a St. Paul Police Officer. Joe and his friend, Joel, were known to run countless miles around Lake Phalen in St. Paul. Joe recently died in his mid-20s of heart failure. This run was the idea of his best friend Joel in memory of Joe.

Steph, Jon, and I hopped in the car early this morning, and headed out to Lake Phalen. Steph was going to cheer and lug our stuff around, and Jon and I were going for PRs. We got there, and got our race numbers:

They were HOPING for 150 runners, but they got over 400! There were a ton of police officers and groups of officers-in-training from the Police Academy. It was really great!

Let me explain this next photo: When I first wore shorts this year (just a few weeks ago), Bigun remarked about my apparently “long” shorts: “those aren't shorts...they are pants pulled up.”

And regarding my Ironman photos from last year, Kate said “I can't believe you ran a freakin' marathon in those shorts!” And the Dread Pirate said “Man, you look strong. Even in those shorts.” No love for my shorts.

So to show you all WHY I don’t wear short shorts, I decided to break them out today. Here you go, jerks:

See? SEE?!? This is why I don’t wear SHORT shorts! I’M PASTIE AND THIN! I DID have the modesty to wear my Under Armour (rolled up) under the shorts, just so my junk didn’t roll out during the run.

OK, onto some business. I had my traditional pre-race poop and was feeling good. Getting ready at the starting line, Gary (the President and founder of Charities Challenge) told those wanting to run a sub-20 to get to the front. I headed up with a few others:

Gary saw me and asked what I was hoping to run. I said “Around 18 minutes.” He wished me luck, and he started the race:

It took about 1 block for me to pull away from everyone else. After a 1/4 mile, I couldn’t even hear footsteps behind me. This entire race was spent out on my own, in front of everyone. The first mile was good and fast.

Mile 1: 5:38. Just around the first mile marker, I was coming up upon 2 ladies walking on the trail. In one breath as I passed them, I quickly said “There’s a lot of runners coming your way in about a minute.” They thanked me and I kept going. Steph said she could see me across the lake for most of the run, and she snapped a photo of me getting ready to climb a nice hill:

Can you see the sun glistening off my
white, pale, sickly-thin thighs?...

Mile 2: 6:04. Getting up to mile 2 was tough. We were running into the wind, and it was icky. This is where I start to hurt during a 5K. I was concerned that I was starting to crash. But I didn’t worry. I trusted my speed work, and I just picked it up and pushed hard...

Mile 3: 5:08. Sweet. It FELT fast and hard. PR, here I come. (mile 2 might have been a little long, and mile 3 a little short...)

Last 0.1: 0:35.

(passing some walkers finishing the 1 mile walk)

Total: 17:26
Pace: 5:37 / mile
Place: 1st out of 400+

I was hoping to finish in around 18 minutes, which would have been a 40 second PR. Instead, I took over a minute off my PR. And I remember my fastest 5K time in high-school was either 18:40-something or 17:40-something, so this is a TRUE PR! Sweet, I’m not a dingleberry!! (See previous post.)

A few minutes later, Jon came running through, with a new PR!!

As soon as Joel (Joe’s friend) finished, he came over and shook my hand and thanked me for coming out. Then, Jon and I cheered in the rest of the runners:

I went to say good-bye to Gary, and he set up one last photo. This photo is of (from left to right) Joel (Joe’s friend who wanted to have a race in his name), Joe’s Mom, me, Jeannie (who made this race happen), and Gary (president of Charities Challenge):

Well, you’ll have to excuse me now, but I have to stretch and get ready for a 10-miler. Marathon training awaits! And I’ll have more photos from today’s 5K shortly...

p.s. A big thanks to Steph for taking such great photos today! Thanks Steph!