A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Or maybe in St. Paul on Saturday night...
Or maybe in Texas 3 weeks ago...
(You'll never fully know. I'm not at liberty to reveal the details in order to protect the identities of those involved.)
...there was a race known as a "kitten mile."
Here's what I said last year about this event:
What I'm talking about is a "Kitten Mile."
Here's how it works:
- Someone shouts "GO."
- You chug some cat nip.
- Then run 1/4 mile.
- Chug more cat nip.
- Run another 1/4 mile.
- Chug more cat nip.
- Run another 1/4 mile.
- Chug more cat nip.
- Run a final 1/4 mile.
That's a total of 48 ounces of nip and a mile of running. All of the cat nip chugging has to take place in a "transition zone" - you can't start running until after you're done chugging. If you throw up your cat nip before you finish, you have to do an extra penalty lap. If you have too much cat nip left from your 4 containers (usually something like 1 oz can be left when all of your extra is added up), you have to do a penalty lap.
I was planning on wearing the "Tutti Frutti" shorts, but I thought I'd "class it up" a little more by adding some rainbow Injinji socks to the overall look:
First was the male wave. Pharmie, Henry, and I got there just in time to hear someone shout GO!! It NEARLY came down to a "photo finish" (seriously - those 2 were within a half second!), but one of the top 2 guys had left too much catnip behind, so he had to do a penalty lap. Dang.
Second was the female wave. There were a bunch of ladies ready to race:
A few of the ladies, a lot of kittens, and the "kitten mile trophy" in the middle!
Love the expressions! Ha! (And yes, that's a "pace bike" in the background.)
One of my "racing buddies" was wearing this shirt:
As I was warming up on the course during the ladies race, I saw some sweet projectile vomiting near a tree. After the race, she told me she was WAITING to barf and it felt so good. Gross.
Finally, it was the "elite" wave, which I had signed up for. I knew there'd be a possible race between D (a local race director) and myself, so I got a photo of us pre-race.
Me and D.
Henry and I posed for a photo pre-race.
"On your marks, get set.... GO!"I chugged as fast as I could, and I went out in about 5th place. I was caught by a speedster in the first lap to move back into 6th. The speedster and I exchanged belches on the first lap. (Especially the first part of the first lap.) We were laughing, talking, and belching at the same time.
I was trying to keep D in sight because I figured I could catch him by the end. In my previous 2 kitten miles, I was able to gain on people who started just in front of me. Here we are pulling into our first transition, and that's D in the foreground, me just over his shoulder, and the pixelated "speedster" right next to me:
Nothing changed on the 2nd lap. I was just behind the speedster who was just behind D.
Chugging nip while stopping to burp. Flattering... yes?
On the 3rd lap, I gained a LITTLE on D. I thought I COULD catch him on the final stretch.
But D started the final lap well in front of me and I had no chance - he finished 8 seconds in front of me tying my kitten mile PR from 2 years ago. After finishing 3rd the last 2 years in a row, I was bumped back to 5th this year. (In my defense, it was the deepest field this kitten mile has ever seen. I was SUPER HAPPY to have beat 2 guys who I could NEVER beat in any sort of "regular" race.)
Here I am about to hit the finish:
I wore my Garmin (shut up) and took my splits, and this is what it told me:
3 full loops and a small out-and-back to equal a mile.
A crazy looking pace graph.
Garmin splits:
Nip: 0:18.4: 4 feet
Running: 1:29.5: 0.28 miles (5:22 pace)
Nip: 0:29.4: 28 feet
Running: 1:34.9: 0.27 miles (5:47 pace)
Nip: 0:31.7: 36 feet
Running: 1:30.2: 0.27 miles (5:36 pace)
Nip: 0:30.1: 42 feet
Running: 0:29.4: 504 feet (5:08 pace)
Total: 6:53.87 (unofficial - Garmin), 6:54 officially2012: 5:04.0 running time, 1:49.6 "nipping" time
2011: 4:59.9 running time, 1:47.4 "nipping" time
That total was 7 seconds slower than last year, and 8 seconds slower than 2 years ago. I gave up the most time (comparing the last 2 years) in my 2nd run. My "nipping" times were quite similar to
last year.
Henry and I shortly after finishing (apparently about 9 minutes and 10 seconds into the elite race)
Pharmie and Henry post-race. Henry's eating M&Ms!
Pharmie took Henry home to put him to bed (THANKS MOMMA!) as I cooled-down a bit and then hung out for a while. She left me with a bus pass so I had a way to get home. Here I am with 2 ladies who were entertaining me for quite a while:
There's a story behind this photo, but I can't share it.
After about another hour, I left and walked to the bus stop. The worst of the cat nip effects were over, and I was fine. I started walking down the street towards home along the bus line, and I kept looking back to try to find a bus coming. Then I figured I'd just start jogging.
After nearly a mile, I needed to pee (go figure), so I stopped at a nice grocery store:
Just after peeing. (Reminder: don't touch my camera.)
Oh, and I felt bad just using their bathroom, so I bought this to eat while waiting for the bus:
I finished my treat, and there was STILL no bus in sight, so I just started running again. I never saw a bus by the time I made it home (nearly 4 miles later). I got in the house and had sweaty boobs from the "cool down" jog:
I never turned my Garmin on for the jog home because I kept thinking I'd see a bus any moment, so I have no idea how fast I run under the influence of nip. I was talking to someone post-race who ran in those same conditions a few years ago, and she said she thought she was FLYING, but her watch was telling her otherwise. Oh well... it didn't really matter.
CLICK HERE for last year's "kitten mile" race report if you're still a little confused. Or intrigued. :)
Back in the next few days with a
15 pair Injinji sock giveaway! Stay tuned for that!
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