>> Friday, May 31, 2013
BuzzFeed recently posted a very true list called 14 Things You Always Say You’ll Do At The Beginning Of Every Summer:
1. Explore and do everything!!!
Reality: Spend all day on the internet.
2. Have a summer fling.
Reality: Forever alone…and sweaty.
3. Be adventurous; explore the outdoors.
Reality: Remember that there are bugs and things waiting to devour your flesh.
4. Go to the beach more.
Reality: Remember you are lazy.
5. Get a nice sun kissed glow.
6. Reality: Come out of the sun looking like uncooked meat with a side of mayonaise.
7. Catch up on all those books everyone’s talking about.
Reality: Get a lot of books. Read one or two. Spend the rest of your money on drinks.
8. Go to a summer festival.
Reality: Spend hundreds of dollars to sweat in a giant ball of humans five million feet away from the band you actually came to see. With this guy.
9. Get away from work. Go on a real vacation.
Reality: “Let me just check my email....”
Also, if that “vacation” is with your family...
10. Go on a summer road trip.
Reality: Realize that all this summer fun requires some sort of planning. And money.
11. Complain about how long winter/spring-that-was-basically-winter lasted.
Reality: Find yourself fondly remembering the majestic beauty that is winter.
12. Scope out babes by the pool.
Reality: Realize you have the sex appeal and grace of a giant bear.
Also, FACT: If you try to look sexy by the beach, nature will troll you.
You’ve been warned.
13. Party all summer!
Reality: Too hot to leave the house. Too hot to move.
Too hot to breathe. Brb dying.
14. Convince yourself you’ll be fine with just the fans in your apartment.
Find funnies all the time on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.