Friday Funny 530: The Beginning of Summer

BuzzFeed recently posted a very true list called 14 Things You Always Say You’ll Do At The Beginning Of Every Summer:


1. Explore and do everything!!!

Reality: Spend all day on the internet.

2. Have a summer fling.

Reality: Forever alone…and sweaty.

3. Be adventurous; explore the outdoors.

Reality: Remember that there are bugs and things waiting to devour your flesh.

4. Go to the beach more.

Reality: Remember you are lazy.

5. Get a nice sun kissed glow.

6. Reality: Come out of the sun looking like uncooked meat with a side of mayonaise.

7. Catch up on all those books everyone’s talking about.

Reality: Get a lot of books. Read one or two. Spend the rest of your money on drinks.

8. Go to a summer festival.

Reality: Spend hundreds of dollars to sweat in a giant ball of humans five million feet away from the band you actually came to see. With this guy.

9. Get away from work. Go on a real vacation.

Reality: “Let me just check my email....”

Also, if that “vacation” is with your family...

10. Go on a summer road trip.

Reality: Realize that all this summer fun requires some sort of planning. And money.

11. Complain about how long winter/spring-that-was-basically-winter lasted.

Reality: Find yourself fondly remembering the majestic beauty that is winter.

12. Scope out babes by the pool.

Reality: Realize you have the sex appeal and grace of a giant bear.

Also, FACT: If you try to look sexy by the beach, nature will troll you.

You’ve been warned.

13. Party all summer!

Reality: Too hot to leave the house. Too hot to move.

Too hot to breathe. Brb dying.

14. Convince yourself you’ll be fine with just the fans in your apartment.

Reality: Die.

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