Friday Funny 530: The Beginning of Summer

BuzzFeed recently posted a very true list called 14 Things You Always Say You’ll Do At The Beginning Of Every Summer:


1. Explore and do everything!!!

Reality: Spend all day on the internet.

2. Have a summer fling.

Reality: Forever alone…and sweaty.

3. Be adventurous; explore the outdoors.

Reality: Remember that there are bugs and things waiting to devour your flesh.

4. Go to the beach more.

Reality: Remember you are lazy.

5. Get a nice sun kissed glow.

6. Reality: Come out of the sun looking like uncooked meat with a side of mayonaise.

7. Catch up on all those books everyone’s talking about.

Reality: Get a lot of books. Read one or two. Spend the rest of your money on drinks.

8. Go to a summer festival.

Reality: Spend hundreds of dollars to sweat in a giant ball of humans five million feet away from the band you actually came to see. With this guy.

9. Get away from work. Go on a real vacation.

Reality: “Let me just check my email....”

Also, if that “vacation” is with your family...

10. Go on a summer road trip.

Reality: Realize that all this summer fun requires some sort of planning. And money.

11. Complain about how long winter/spring-that-was-basically-winter lasted.

Reality: Find yourself fondly remembering the majestic beauty that is winter.

12. Scope out babes by the pool.

Reality: Realize you have the sex appeal and grace of a giant bear.

Also, FACT: If you try to look sexy by the beach, nature will troll you.

You’ve been warned.

13. Party all summer!

Reality: Too hot to leave the house. Too hot to move.

Too hot to breathe. Brb dying.

14. Convince yourself you’ll be fine with just the fans in your apartment.

Reality: Die.

Find funnies all the time on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.

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Friday Funny 529: Fossils of a Forgotten Era

More funnies here: http://steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com

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Friday Funny 528: Famous Movie Lines Spoken as a Proper Englishman

Heston should have said it that way.

Check out lots of funnies all week long on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.

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Personal Job Search News

I share a lot on this blog, but it's not all *personal* personal. It's stuff about my pre-race bowel habits, close-ups of what racing hard does to my feet, etc, etc. But I don't post a ton of my "work life."

A lot of you know that the College of Visual Arts (my alma mater and where I've been teaching for 8 years) announced it was closing in January. (I've been posting about it now-and-then on my Photo Blog, and here's the link to my first post about this where I had to first address the students and their parents at an all-school assembly.) My last day is Friday. After that, there are really only 2 or 3 staff members still on the payroll to wrap up loose ends and finalize the sale of the buildings and any remain assets.

I started looking for a job right away in January. I'm still in the adjunct pool at the University of Minnesota, so I hope I can get a class or 2 there in the near future, but it's hard to "get back in" once they've found new professors. I applied for a few full-time technical school teaching positions, but never heard anything back. I just turned in 2 more adjunct applications to local colleges. I had a nice lead on a possible position at an ACTC college, but that fell through when they didn't budget for ventilation for the new darkroom they wanted to set up.

My best lead was a Photo Tech position at a great local private college. I had my second-round interview last week, and it went pretty well. It was going to be a good fit - my CVA paycheck stops on Friday, and this job would start RIGHT AWAY on Monday. I'd officially be jobless for the weekend. Sweet.

But I wasn't picked for that position.

After Friday, I'm unemployed for the first time.

I've taught 58 college-level courses over the last 8 years, as well as countless workshops for adults, college students, and high schoolers. And it's scary for me to say that I don't know the next time I'll see the inside of a classroom.

The good news is that Pharmie is the major bread winner, so we can afford to have me be a stay-at-home Dad for a while. And that IS the good news: I get to spend the summer with my favorite little guy.

In the meantime, I'll be looking and applying for every local photo-related teaching position I can. It was fitting that early this morning, I ran into this image on a friend's Instagram:

I'm hippie enough to like this, but I'm not waiting on "the universe" - I'll get my resume out there as much as possible. But I'm hoping this is all part of Someone's master plan...

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One Final Post of New Gear West Duathlon Photos

I think this will FINALLY be my last post about the Gear West Duathlon. Drew from Gear West Bike and Tri was out there with a camera all day, he posted over 500 photos in an album on the Gear West Bike and Tri Facebook page. Here are a few I'd like to share:

Teammate Pete trying to stay dry pre-race.


I think this was the first "official" photo of team "Itchy & Scratchy."


After a change-of-shorts after the first run, I tried to stay loose as Pete was biking.
I look like a princess. (Not in a good way.)


Pete looked like a bad ass (in bright shorts) hammering it home on the bike!


More bad-assery.

You all know Jeremy. He's the former student who's been racing with me since the start of the MDRA Grand Prix last year. I teased him in this post from over a year ago that he looked too photogenic at the finish of the 2012 New Prague Half Marathon where he had a big PR.

Well look at how freakin' photogenic he looked a mile into the 2nd run at the GW Du:

IT'S NOT FAIR, JEREMY!

He looks majestic, graceful, and floating on air.... and here's me at the same point:

I look like a hot, wet, horse fart.

I was trying to catch Jeremy who was also on a team. I was about 2 minutes back and TRYING to close the gap. But I didn't even get close.

Another unflattering photo.


Jenny with my camera - she's the one who took all the great photos in my race report!!

Local rockstar Dan Hedgecock took the win by 3 minutes, and that was after crashing on the bike and then taking it a little easy on the final run. When you're that fast, the race can get a little lonely:

You can see a little spray above/behind him - it wasn't SOAKING on the ride, but it was wet.


A lonely ride. #FastAthleteProblems


Jeremy's biker coming back into T2 (just as Jeremy was preparing his photogenic self).

Even though Jeremy looked pretty good in that photo of him running, I teasingly commented on the Facebook album that Kortney should be named "most photogenic" at the race. Here she is GETTING READY TO TAKE 3RD IN A SOLID FIELD on the final run:

Smiling with good form on her way to take 3rd? I don't know how she does it.

And I joked that "least photogenic" should be Jared from GWB&T. A mixture of his paleness, sweatiness, black socks, and the slightly mis-matched reds on his top and shorts makes for a slightly-less-than-sexy photo:

Jared, I love ya, but this is gross. (This coming from the man who just described
himself as a "hot, wet, horse fart," so take it with a grain of salt....)

Here's a final rundown of links from this race:

- My Gear West Duathlon race report
- "Crowning Ceremony" after the GW Du
- Photos from Devon's Mom
- Devon's Gear West Duathlon race report < see his take on the race

And here are 2 recent Examiner articles of mine:

- Photo Gallery from the GW Duathlon
- A local mountain bike time trial series is starting soon

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