I Listened To My Wife

“Get ready for our trip to Mexico,” she said.


“Build a base-tan,” she said.


“This place sells 1/2 sessions,” she said.




Well, do they sell 1/8 sessions? Because a 1/2 session worked a little TOO well (note my regular skin-tone in my armpits):

Notice in that last photo how I burned more where there was less hair. That’s God’s way of telling me to keep my body hair and to not go tanning.

Am I ready for Mexico now? Who wants to come over and rub aloe on my back?

(p.s. Pharmie didn't MAKE me go. It's not her fault. The first 3 lines of this post were just for effect...)

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Friday Funny 15: Bad Children’s Books

I’d also like to see these:

• “Dad’s New Wife Robert”
• “Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her”
• “The Pop-Up Book Of Human Anatomy”
• “Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things”
• “Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?”

Happy Weekend!

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Mileage Towards A Half Mary

The evening news just said that we got snow 15 out of 17 days in December. I just got done with an 8 mile run on all that packed white crap. And, I’ve just come down with a little cold. It’s not too bad, and a lot of times a cold will get better with a nice run. (If you’re not a runner, you think that sounds CRAZY. If you’re a runner, you TOTALLY understand.)

The weather was a little chilly, but still great for a run. It was 14 with a windchill of 6:

I strapped on my YakTrax to help deal with the snow and ice. In case you don’t know, YakTrax are basically rubber tubes wrapped with springs that help with traction in these slippery conditions:

I ran the first 4 in 27:12, and the last 4 in 25:45 for a total of 52:57. That’s 6:37 / mile while in my YakTrax, on top of a lot of snow, while fighting a cold. Not too shabby. I’ll be adding a mile to that run each week until the end of January when I’ll be running the St. Paul Winter Carnival Half Marathon. I’ll be trying to hold that pace as I add mileage in hopes of PRing during that half. I KNOW I can PR, but we'll have to see by how much...

Remember to check back to see how I do at the indoor track meet on Sunday. And then I’ll be meeting Juila at the pool to do 20 x 100 on Monday. Fun times. Speedy times. Oh, and come on back in a few hours for a new Friday Funny. Stay warm out there!

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Speed Tuesday 04

I don’t know why I told everyone to meet at 6 pm last night. It was the middle of rush hour, and the snow was slowing everything down. It took me 40 minutes to go 5 miles:

I got to the Metrodome right at 6. They open the upper concourse for the steep price of A BUCK and let runners do laps for 3 hours twice a week. The stadium itself was dead. Here’s the view from a door of the upper concourse:

As soon as I got up there, I bumped into Jumper. After a few more minutes, Jenny showed up. (She’s the one from 2 posts below who created the workout Powerhouse Hit The Deck that I tried last week.) Then Jen showed up (constant interval buddy). Finally, Pharmie showed up, and we were ready to run!

Jumper and Jenny in the back;
Pharmie, me, and Jen in the front.

I brought some new shoes to break in. I figured it’d be a good time for new shoes because that hard Metrodome floor is tough on me (and my bad heel and bad knee).

So, for my workout, I was going to run 8 one lap intervals with 60 seconds rest. (One lap is about 601 meters.) Everyone else was going to do 2.5 lap repeats (about a mile). I started off, and soon I was working HARD. I wanted to keep them all under 2:00, and I BARELY pulled that off. Here are my splits:

1:59
1:53
1:53
1:54
1:55
1:57
1:59
1:59

Average of 1:56.1 / 601 meters (5:09 / mile pace)

Just as I finished the last one, I snapped a photo of me (all sweaty, hot, and hairy, with that “vein of approval” throbbing out of my forehead):

Then I snapped photos of the others running by. Here’s Jumper and Phamie:

And here’s Jen and Jenny. Even though the photo is SUPER blurry, there’s no hiding Jenny’s fab abs:

I also bumped into Badd Apple as he was finishing up a run too. The dome was just full of local runners!

So, all of us wrapped up our workouts, and we got bundled up to go back out into the 2 degree crap-fest weather. Jenny, it was nice to meet you and your abs! I hope to get together with all of you again in the next few weeks! Happy training, everyone!

p.s. I've got some fun, speedy events coming up. On Sunday, I'm running 1600 meters at an indoor track meet (that's the reason I did 600s yesterday). And early Monday morning, I'm meeting Julia at the Y, and we're going to swim 20 x 100 together (torture)! Look for reports on both of those!

p.p.s. In my last post, everyone was commenting on how hairy my toes are. Jenny and her fab abs both saw my feet last night and said that they don’t NEARLY look that hairy. She said, “The camera adds 20 pounds... and 20 hairs.” I think she’s right. So leave my hairy toes alone. ;)

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Do NOT Read While Eating!

Scroll down 2 posts. See that blister? That photo was taken just after finishing my morning run on Saturday. By Saturday night, there was SO MUCH PRESSURE in that bugger, that I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to perform a slight medical procedure on my foot.

Here’s the painful culprit about to be lanced:

I hacked at it with the point of a little scissors. But after 6-8 chucks were removed, I hadn’t gotten to the juice; I had only gotten part way through the callus over the blister:

Notice some chucks in the lower left.

I knew what I had to do.

I had to go in FULL FORCE.

I took the tip of the scissors...

I braced myself...

And I stabbed that little sucker HARD.

There was some Good News and some Bad News.

The good news: I did NOT get “blister juice” all over the bathroom...

The bad news: ...because it all landed on my face.

I swear on all that is holy that the above photo was NOT staged. That little sucker squirted me right across my face, directly over my glasses. A weaker man would have puked. I just grinned in disbelieve. “Wow, that DID just happen...”

I wiped up the mess and drained the blister:

It felt SO much better, and I woke up the next day feeling GREAT!

Anyone need a doctor?

(p.s. 6 pm. Tonight. Metrodome. Run with me.)

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Powerhouse Hit The Deck

About a week ago, I was contacted about trying a new workout product called Powerhouse Hit The Deck. I’m always game for something new (especially in the winter months), so I said I’d try it out. On Thursday, a little package arrived in the mail. It looked like this:

It was the size of a super-sized deck of cards. Inside was a timer and a bunch of cards:

All of those cards have different exercises on the other side:

• The yellow are the “Warm-Up/Cool-Down” cards
• The blue are the “No Sweat” cards (easy)
• The green are the “I’m Glistening” cards (medium)
• The red are the “Sweating Buckets” cards (hard)

Here’s a brief rundown on how it works:

• Set the timer to a certain interval (ie, 30 seconds) and that’s how long you’ll do each exercise.
• Start with the 5 yellow cards. Take one, do the exercise as many times as you can before the timer beeps, then move on to the next card.
• Then, randomly draw any of the blue, green, or red cards. Do the exercise until the timer beeps, then quickly grab another card and repeat.
• Cool down with all the yellow cards.

Basically, it’s SIMILAR to doing a Crossfit style workout. But the idea is you never know what’s up next - it’s the luck of the draw. I thought it could be a little “beginner” for someone like me (who’s no greek god, but who’s in pretty good shape). I figured I’d do a “ladder” style workout, so I did this:

Timer set to 60 seconds (for a total of a 25 minute workout)
• 5 warm-up cards
• 3 No Sweat (easy)
• 3 I'm Glistening (medium)
• 3 Sweating Buckets (hard)
• 3 I'm Glistening (medium)
• 3 No Sweat (easy)
• 5 warm-up cards

I started doing some of the warm-up exersizes. I’m awkward:

Then, Steph and Borsch showed up, so I took my workout upstairs. It was about the same time that I had to loose the shirt. So because I ran upstairs, there are no photos of me topless, hairy, and sweaty. You’re welcome.

Here’s my verdict: It was a little more intense than I thought it was going to be. I worked hard for 60 seconds, but as soon as I was done, I had to go on to the next one. It was a good burn! A little spot deep within each ass-cheek was nice and sore for 2 days afterwards! And before I started, I thought the timer was a little unnecessary. But it was GREAT to have during the workout: I didn’t have to keep checking my watch - I could just work until the timer beeped at me.

Here’s how I see the Pros and Cons of Powerhouse Hit The Deck:

New To Working Out (“Noob”):
Pros:
• You can do it in your own home.
• You need NO equipment.
• You can start with easier cards, and work your way up as you get stronger.
Cons:
• Your form could be crap, and there’s no way to know.

Seasoned Athlete:
Pros:
• Great way to cross-train.
• Fun “change-of-pace” workout now and then.
Cons:
• Not SUPER intense, so you can’t cancel your gym membership.

My Overall Impression:
Pros:
• Small package you can EASILY take on the road and do in a hotel room.
• You need NO equipment.
• Drawing a random card gives infinite possibilities for a workout.
• It’s only $19.99!
Cons:
• More exercises than I liked for the lower body, with fewer for the upper body (I understand that’s because lower body are easier to do without weights or other equipment...)

I had some questions about the program, so I just called up Jenny, the creator of Powerhouse Hit The Deck. She said she likes to do the exercises for 30 seconds, and she’ll do the entire deck! She’ll start with card #1 and go through card #30. THEN, she’ll start over again, but this time she’ll shuffle the deck and draw cards at random. That sounds like a killer 30 minute workout! But, then again, Jenny was the model on the cards. She looks like she could handle the workout, see:

Jenny and I had a nice chat, and she’s actually hoping to meet up with us for Dome Running on Tuesday! We may have a new training buddy! So, if any of the above sounds interesting, check out Jenny’s product: Powerhouse Hit The Deck. It’s cheap, and it’s a good workout to throw into the mix! I’ll probably be doing it a few times a month.

Now, is there anyone interested in running at the Metrodome on Tuesday (tomorrow) at 6 pm? To get to Dome Running, first find the big inflatable toilet Metrodome in downtime Minneapolis. Then drive around it. Find the big parking lot up a hill next to the dome. (The entrance to the lot is at 11th Ave and 5th St.) So turn into the lot and go up a hill (the red arrow on the map). Then just find a spot in the shaded red area on this map:

Then just head to the closest gate. You’ll be in. Here’s what the MDRA site says about Dome Running:

Dome Running is each Tuesday and Thursday from 5:00 - 8:00 p.m. each night. The cost is $1. Enter at Gate D. You can park free in the upper Dome lot. If you have questions contact Rick Recker 612 375-0805.

Got that? Gate D. Upper Dome Lot. Bring a buck to get in. See you tomorrow.

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7 Mile Runs

I woke up this morning to a BEAUTIFUL 30 degree day! So I busted out a nice 7 mile run in my YakTrax. Here’s how a few 7 milers stack up over the last 2 months:

Date / 1st Half / 2nd Half / Total / Pace

10/23, 24:04 + 22:29 = 46:33 (6:39)
11/06, 23:59 + 22:18 = 46:17 (6:36)
11/25, 24:00 + 21:09 = 45:09 (6:27)
12/13, 24:08 + 22:21 = 46:29 (6:38)

(all with sweet negative splits and VERY consistent first halves - within 9 seconds)

This last one may have been a little slower because I was in my YakTrax and because I tried a new workout 2 days ago that made my butt pretty sore (more on that in my next post). Or maybe it was a little slower because my feet were being destroyed:

Next week my half marathon training starts! And if your interested, check back on Monday for details regarding Dome Running on Tuesday evening! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a holiday party that won't host itself...

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Friday Funny 14: Mall Santas

The holiday season is upon us. Here is a countdown of the 10 Worst Kinds of Mall Santas. Enjoy.

10. Pull-My-Finger Santa:

9. Narcoleptic Santa:

8. Touchy-Feely Santa:

7. Super-Sweaty Santa:

6. Bad-With-Baby Santa:

5. Lap-Dance Santa:

4. Crappy-Fake-Beard Santa:

3. Skinny Santa:

2. Flashing Santa:

1. Sneak-A-Drink Santa: (that brown liquid in a water bottle isn’t fooling anyone)

p.s. Intervals at the Metrodome on Tuesday. 6 pm. $1. More details on Monday. Happy weekend!!

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The Jeopardy 20

I jumped on the trainer last night. I watched Jeopardy while biking. I did 20 second sprints every time someone gave a wrong answer. So I coined this workout “The Jeopardy 20.” Double Jeopardy was rough. And there was a contestant named Barb who did NOT make it easy for me...

Then I stretched afterwards while playing a quick game of Madden 94 on my Super Nintendo:

Yes, my SUPER NINTENDO. It’s an oldie but a goodie. Like the missionary position. And hot cocoa. (But not at the same time.)

p.s. I’m thinking about Tuesday Dome Intervals at (duh) the Dome. One lap repeats (about 600 meters) with about 60 seconds rest. Anyone interested?

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Playing it Smart

I took last night off from my scheduled workout. I was going to do a reverse brick (5 mile tempo run followed by 30 minutes on the trainer). But as soon as I got home from work, I figured I’d skip a holiday party to stay home and cook Pharmie some Thai Curry and some homemade Guacamole (weird combo, I know) because she was having a tough few days.

Then I got to thinking that I CAN be taking it easy this time of year. I’m a week or 2 away from starting my half marathon training, and there’s no reason to over-do anything right now. My heel is a little sore, and I should just concentrate on building strength while letting my aches and pains heal up a little. Right? Right.

I shouldn’t do anything stupid. Like intervals on the track covered in snow. Yeah, that was probably unnecessary.

In brighter news, there is a random sign all over one of the schools where I teach. They say “I BELIEVE IN STEVE.” Everyone was asking me about it yesterday. I had NO idea what they were for. A staff member asked how she could get a fan club like that. And one of the maintenance guys told me he believed in me so much that he wanted to give me a hug. He actually chased after me to try to hug me. Weird.

Well, I believe in Steve!

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