Friday Funny 666: Sochi Problems

You've probably been hearing a bit about this. Sochi doesn't seem QUITE ready for the Olympics. Here are 10 examples from HappyPlace:

1. The Olympic Logo says 2014, the plumbing says 1914.


2. Everyone's least favorite event: the 10m drop.


3. Hotel manager had previously told her not to put it on her face because it was dangerous.


4. Ten bucks says this problem actually leads to a terrible injury during the games.


5. What the eff is up with Russians and the bathrooms?! This story only gets worse...


6. This is an Olympic hotel they just, you know, didn't build.


7. This photo made the rounds last week, however the Ruskies claimed to have fixed it:


8. Then, an employee of the building posted a pic of NOT THE SAME bathroom (left), & what
happened to Rosenberg's bathroom (right): it's a supply closet. Which makes total sense.


9. Whether or not that one bathroom changed, the Russians were, of course, lying
about the fact that there weren't going to be double toilets everywhere.


10. Cakes in ass is funny, but let's not overlook that fruit's fffffffffreshness.

BONUS: here are 3 more that I've just seen (from the Washington Post):

Lots more funnies all week long on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com!

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BIG NEWS!!

I'll cut to the chase:

MY WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH A BABY BOY!!

Last night: 26 weeks along! (Due in mid-May.)

When she did the TC "Toddler Trot" with Henry back in Oct, she was pregnant:

Meltdown starting during the race.


Pharmie carrying cranky Hank across the line.

And she didn't run her 14th straight Twin Cities Marathon the day after that because she had a little bleeding for about a week before. She was planning on running it super easy after completing all the training. (She ran the 2010 TC Marathon easy while a few weeks pregnant with Henry.) But she's not stupid - because things weren't 100% with pregnancy #2, she sat it out. And as I showed in this post, she cheered on friends and family with me:

Henry and Pharmie cheering on the 10 Mile finishers.


A high five from big sis!

I bet 90% of dedicated readers knew she was pregnant back in October - I mentioned that she sat out the marathon due to some "abdominal problems" (technically true), and everyone was kind enough to NOT leave comments like "Yeah, sure. THAT'S why she didn't race."

Henry came on a day I was planning on racing a triathlon, so I had a different sort of "race report" to write up. Baby #2 will probably be coming a month before Henry (May vs June), so we'll see if I end up missing a duathlon this Spring... :)

Adventure awaits!!!

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Ask Steve: THEE Most Important Winter Running Layer

Last week, I got this tweet from Molly:

You see my response, and I've stuck with those for this cold winter. (They're saying it's the coldest winter since 1984. And yes, I've been doing a lot of running inside, but I've done my share of outdoor running, too.)

Below is a post from last year when I got my "Sugoi Wind Boxers" from my wife for Valentines Day - the post was called "My Wife Loves My Penis, and She Proved it on Valentine's Day:"

It's true. For Valentine's Day, my wife got me this:

Those are windproof shorts to keep Capt'n Happy warm and... well... happy. I've frozen my penis on a few runs in the past. (Here's the story of the first time it happened.) I've learned to wear a few extra layers down there on any run 25 degrees or colder. But now I don't have to.

Since then, I've worn the shorts for a few runs. They're tight, warm, super soft, and fantastic. I've had to ONLY wear those under my running pants even in windy 15 degree weather - nothing more. I love them. And I love that my wife is looking out for my manhood.

p.s. I had about a million other titles worked up for this post. Many were full of innuendo. Some were super naughty. Some were down-right dirty. But I took the high road and went with a clean, straight-forward, anatomically correct title. I guess I'm getting a little soft in my old age. But not around my hot wife.

**ba dum tss**

Well, since THAT post nearly a year ago, I've worn them many many times. They are 10x better than Under Armour shorts. I still like my Under Armour for under running shorts when it's 30-45 degrees, and I still wear my Under Armour under pants when it's in the teens, but I wear these Sugoi Wind Boxers when it's anywhere around 0 degrees. On the coldest, windiest runs, I still need a BIT more help, but these things are great.

Here are a few cold-weather-running-related links:
- Tips on how to run outside in the cold
- If you can't handle it outside, here are my 2 treadmill tips
- And just for fun: my race report (and lots of mid-race selfies) during a FREEZING 25 below 10K

And speaking of my penis, back with some BIG, FUN NEWS tomorrow!!

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Three Good Random Things

• ONE: Interview: Triple Threat Triathlon recently interviewed me, and they erroneously referred to me as the "Michael Jordan of triathlon blogs." (I *might* be the Larry Platt of triathlon blogs. If you're asking "who's that?..." then I've made my point.) They asked a few good questions about blogging, racing, and my recent triathlon in Israel. CLICK HERE to read the interview.

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• TWO: Swim Intervals: I recently did that 30x50 pool workout again that I first did about 2 months ago. I still like that workout, and I'd like to try the full 50x50 someday soon - I think I could do that.

I was faster this time than I was 2 months ago. PROGRESS! This time, my 250s were more consistent (the workout is broken up into sets of 5x50, or 250s) with only 9 seconds between slowest and fastest. Last time, the range was 20 seconds, and my average over all the 250s was over 10 seconds slower than this time. And my final "all out" 50s in each set were faster this time too: last time, they were 42, 41, 41, 42, 40, and 40 seconds, and this time they were 39, 38, 38, 38, 38, and 38 seconds.

So here are the details from that workout if you want to try it. I'm finding it's a good way to get in a decent amount of 50s without wanting to die. Check it out!

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• THREE: Arch-Nemesis Devon: Pro-triathlete racing frenemy has been unusually nice lately. One photo I didn't include in my post of Instagram photos from Israel this past weekend was this photo of a bus stop ad for "push up jeans:"

These "push up jeans" ads are all over Tel Aviv. I could use this. In the front.

Devon responded to that image with:

And then shortly after landing back in MN, I got this tweet from him:

Devon explains this new found love in a recent blog post:

Because Steve Stenzel and I are currently best friends, according to our Christmas Truce, I will race the Gear West Duathlon as an individual and leave him to defend his lustrous relay crown. That said, if for any reason Steve needed me to step in as his relay-mate I’d do it in a heartbeat. Because we’re best friends and we are always there to help one another. Conversely, if our best friendship is annulled because Steve violates the no ‘your mom’ jokes clause, I’d destroy him like a incontinent pigeon destroys the clean exterior of a freshly washed car. But as I said, we are totally best friends for now and nothing will ever come between us except for any violation of our truce. Love you buddy! And a big congrats to Steve, he just raced as part of a relay in the Israman in Israel! Great job pal. If you’ve never had a best friend I really recommend it.

We'll see where this leads. Or how long it lasts. Or if I left Devon woo me to 2nd base.

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9 Days in Israel via Instagram

My Instagram shows an abbreviated version of my trip to Israel over 30 photos. I didn't post much on day 2 because I was wandering around Jerusalem getting lost with Nick. (Here are some photos from that day.)

These Instagram photos show how much we saw and did in just a week. Anything in italics is the text from the original Instagram post:

- - - DAY 1 - - -


My day. Sixteen hours in the air.


Today's forecast: cloudy. #NoFilter  (This was from above the winter clouds in the midwest.)


- - - DAY 2 - - -


View of Jerusalem's old city from my hotel room.


- - - DAY 3 - - -


Wednesday morning sunrise over Jerusalem. #nofilter


The wall around Jerusalem.


THEE BEST hummus I've ever had! Jerusalem is fantastic. Thanks @KinetisTeam for the tour!
(This was upstairs in a tiny Jerusalem restaurant above the market. It was awesome.)


Made it to Tel Aviv just in time for the sunset over the Mediterranean. #LifeIsGood


- - - DAY 4 - - -


4th flight in 4 days: Tel Aviv to Eilat for #Israman 70.3 tomorrow!


Boarding our plane pointed straight at the Mediterranean Sea. #Israman #VibeIsrael


Flying over the Negev Desert.


English-speaking pre-race meeting. #Israman


Just finished a swim in the Red Sea. AMAZING. Video in a few hours. #Israman
(Update: the video can be seen here)


Red and white wine on tap. Repeat: RED AND WHITE WINE ON TAP.
(This was the Israman buffet the night before the race.)


- - - DAY 5 - - -


I've got my race tattoos and speedo on! Time to swim! #Israman


Running out of the Red Sea after my relay 70.3 swim at the #Israman triathlon!


Not as fast as I would have liked, but hey, I JUST RACED IN THE RED SEA!!! #Israman
(Update: Here's my full "race report.")


Israelis know how to f*ckin party. This place is awesome. #Israman
(Great energy at the finish - one of the closest things I've seen to an official Ironman vibe.)


- - - DAY 6 - - -


Goodbye King Solomon Hotel in Eilat. See you again in my dreams.


Spring-fed lake in the middle of the desert in Timna Israeli National Park.


All the food here has been FANTASTIC. It makes me moist just thinking about it.


Back to Tel Aviv.


Another amazing meal in Tel Aviv: eggplant ratatouille, seafood paella,
spinach/ricotta gnocchi (THE BEST!), mushroom pasta, sea bass, and spare ribs.


- - - DAY 7 - - -


This is a valid parking job in Tel Aviv. This car has been here all morning.


Lounging by the Mediterranean Sea. Thanks for getting me here @KinetisTeam!


Thanks, walls of #TelAviv. I nearly forgot.


So sue me. I had to try it.
(My burger was pretty dry, but then I was reminded that it was probably kosher.)


- - - DAY 8 - - -


Brunch on the sea.


Breakfast at Manta Ray on the Tel Aviv beachfront: shakshuka (eggs poached in
tomatoes), parmesan eggplant omelet, "Mr. Crunchy" ham and cheese sandwich,
and a veggie Greek salad. I miss Henry, but I don't wanna go home.


- - - DAY 9 - - -


First sights of the US. (New Jersey- yuck.) Can't wait to see my family!


Sunrise somewhere between Newark and Chicago.


Back to real life. Playing with Henry and his massive Lego tower.

And here's a bonus photo from later that day:

You know the shit's REALLY about to hit the fan when....

Here are some related links:

• More about Kinetis and why they sent me to Israel
• Video swimming in the Red Sea
• Israman relay race report
• Some great photos from SlowTwitch from the Israman Triathlon
• Mountain biking in Timna Valley, an Israeli National Park

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