PSA: How To Run Outside In The Winter

Updated 1/21/08 at the bottom

I’ve decided to do a winter series of Public Service Announcements, so I thought there was no better place to start than to give advice on how to run outside in the frigid Minnesota winter. It’s not that I know it all; in fact, I’ve made some horrible mistakes. Because of my mistakes, I have wisdom to share. Hopefully, I can get you out there to enjoy this great winter!

You can’t be afraid of nasty temperatures. They’re just numbers that tell you how many layers to put on. Here’s what I’ve learned you need to do:

Lesson 1: Homework

How cold is it? How strong is the wind? Is it slick? You need to step outside or turn on the local news to figure out where to start. When I was getting ready for a 7.5 miler on yesterday, the T.V. was telling me this:

Yep. Three below. With twenty-four below wind chill. That qualifies as "titties cold." But it's still do-able.

Lesson 2: Layers

Once you’ve assessed the day, start getting dressed. You don’t need weight, you just need layers. With winter running, zippers are your friend. Zippers can be zipped up tight when you start out and are a little chilly, and zippers can be unzipped once you get going and get a little warm. And yes, it’s possible to get PLENTY warm in 24 below wind chill.

I’ve also become a “mittens” person since I’ve started winter running. Mittens are a great place to hold your keys, a few bucks, and some Gu. Here are all my layers laid out:

Sub Lesson 2A: Layers in “Special Places”

Ladies, watch those nipples if you’ve been “blessed.” Fellas, you GOTTA pack some extra layers over your junk. In case you’ve forgotten, it was just over 1 month ago that I nearly froze mine off.

I normally have 2 or 3 layers on top and pants on the bottom with 2 or 3 extra layers over my man parts. Notice in the photo above that I still wore boxers over my Under Armour for extra protection.

Here I am, ready to head out:

I was plenty warm after 5 miles, and the zipper on the hoodie was unzipped a ways, and the ski mask was off.

Lesson 3: No Glasses

On longer, colder runs, I have to wear my contacts. My glasses will fog up like nobodies business. So if it’s colder than 10 degrees, or I’m running more than 4 or 5 miles, I put in my contacts.

Lesson 4: Get a Grip

If you’re going to be running on a day that there could be packed snow or ice, consider investing in a pair of slip-on spikes of some sort. I have a pair that looks like this:

These are pretty intense, and have 6 replaceable spikes on each foot. They hold up pretty well, but slide a little to the outside of my foot over the course of a run. Many runners love “YakTrax,” but I’ve never tried them myself. It’s essentially springs wrapped around some rubber tubes to give you some grip:

Lesson 5: The Prize

If you need some motivation, plan accordingly. To get through a chilly run, I remember what’s waiting for me at home. No, not naked Pharmie. I’m talking about food:

Recoverite, pizza, and York Peppermint Patties. Yum.
Nevermind the fruit in the background; I don’t eat that crap.

Lesson 6: Warming Up

When you’re done and get home, you’ve GOTTA get out of your clothes pretty quickly. The clothes that you’ve just run in will be sweaty and will cool you down in no time. Here’s my hat, eye-brows, nostrils, and girlishly-long eyelashes covered with sweaty ice crystals:

You need to take off your clothes to get warm. And this isn’t my ploy to get you naked. It’s just the truth.

Did I miss anything? Comment if you have some useful suggestions that I missed here. Let’s share them with others that could be running but are a bit timid!

Oh, there is a completely different way of dealing with running in the winter. This way is easier, but less affordable: move to Panama.

Coming Soon: a PSA on how to remove unwanted body hair. It will contain product reviews and helpful tips. I bet you can’t wait.

Updates:
- Ironmin noted that she wears a turtle fur and rotates it around to a dry spot as it gets too wet from breathing through it.
- Jameson commented on something that I didn't mention specifically: no cotton next to the skin. It will get wet with sweat, and then it will get cold!
- Dana also commented on something that I forgot to mention: CHAPSTICK!!
- Lastly, the idea of wearing mittens to store things in was Pharmies. She's been doing that for years!