Friday Funny 705: Suspicious Quotation Marks

Distractify posted a list of poorly used quotation marks noting "when misused, quotation marks make even the most innocent sentences worthy of some serious suspicion." Here are my 22 favorite (meaning "worst") examples of unnecessary and suspicious quotation marks:

Hint hint, wink wink.


...Actually, this one is pretty on-point.


No “strings” attached.


Gender is so just so fluid nowadays.


I like the forwardness, but maybe buy me a drink first?


This just speaks for itself.


Definitely not a drug front.


If only everyone were this honest.


Has it been sitting out for two days? Yes. Is there mold on it? No.


Looks like I’m in that particularly sleazy part of the neighborhood again.


*Turns faucet on, waits ten seconds, turns it off* Yeah, you know who you are.


Someone just earned their Blatant Abuse of Punctuation badge.


I request a worldwide z-snap in honor of this fine individual.


Whatever this is, I want it nowhere near my hands.


This is how people die.


I'm suddenly a vegetarian.


This is America. When writing, learn how to punctuate your own language.


Literally no one is surprised that these are found on a white van.


The double negative makes this one extra tricky. WHAT SHOULD I DO?


Ah, so we're at one of THOSE Chinese restaurants.


There will be "Kool-Aid" and we will "sacrifice a goat."


We'll settle this once and for all on Maury next week, but until then, let's celebrate.

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