Friday Funny 21: David Hasselhoff

>> Friday, January 30, 2009

One of the truths you come to learn in life is that there are many cool looks David Hasselhoff can pull off that you simply cannot. Despite how unfair that may be, it’s simply something you have to come to grips with. So, here are 12 Looks David Hasselhoff Can Pull Off, But I Can’t:

The Eye Patch. I operated under the impression that the Hoff lost an eye in a freak cigar accident for roughly two years after seeing this look.

Cuddling with Two Puppies. How does he look so masculine when it makes me look so femmy?

Cuddling with Two Puppies Naked. The Hoff is making it clear how much he owns me.

The Speedo / Leather Jacket Combo. I have neither the chest hair nor the package to pull this off. Well, maybe 1 out of 2...

Camo Shorts. Remember that time you tried on a pair and looked like a douche? Yeah, the Hoff didn’t have that problem.

Drunk and Shirtless Eating a Cheeseburger. Before I watched this video, it would have been impossible to believe someone could pull this off with such class and dignity. Just score another one for the Hoff.

The "Anaconda 3" Poster. If there’s another mutha in showbiz who’d look like they’re taking this role so seriously, we’re not aware of him.

Rocking a T-Shirt That References You in Third Person. For starters, my last name isn’t all that pun worthy. And no one is printing t-shirts about me.

The Lifeguard Look. No one ever starts singing "I'll be there…" to themselves when they see me holding a red buoy over my shoulder.

Looking Surprised on a Rope Swing. That’s all talent folks. No way around it.

Practicing Chipping in Drag. Well, chipping in drag is easy - doing it in front of a cardboard cutout of yourself is the hard part.

And Crying on American Idol. How is it that my friends would still be punching me in the junk if I teared up on Idol, yet the Hoff seems all the more awesome for it?


Michelle 7:40 AM, January 30, 2009  

Oh my freaking goodness I AM FIRST!!!

Dude you could totally pull off the Hoff look!!! Only better!!! I would rather look at you with icicles on your face than the Hoff!!!


Maria 8:00 AM, January 30, 2009  

oh my god, those poor puppies in the naked picture...
I think you should take pictures of yourself in these poses and let your blog readers decide if you can pull them off!

CoachLiz 8:02 AM, January 30, 2009  


Chipping in drag in front of BOTH a cut-out of yourself and a lame movie poster of yourself. I hope those wrinkly shar pei dogs are not an indicator of the state of his package.


Marcy 8:12 AM, January 30, 2009  

The Hoff, yeah that's one sex machine if I've ever seen one :P

Diana 8:14 AM, January 30, 2009  

I'll take any of these to hang over my bed! Can ya link me up??!!! LOL!
Great pics-I agree that you look far better with the ice face!

nwgdc 8:45 AM, January 30, 2009  

Can only pull off 1 of the 2? You've got a leather coat, huh.

Carolina John 8:47 AM, January 30, 2009  

Don't Sten the Zel, baby! it's going to catch on. totally.

i'm totally going to get some puppies and take some naked pictures now just so i can feel that inferior to the hoff.

Anonymous,  9:03 AM, January 30, 2009  

Yes, these pictures raise some questions about popular taste, or at least somebody's taste....

Here Steve is, way more beautiful, but confined to a blog....

His audience is fit (sort of), but few....

He definitely needs to bust out of the media straight-jacket he's in....

No, not into a real one.... I mean, the BIG TIME....

We can help Steve MAKE IT....

Consider: Every vote for "STEVE IN A SPEEDO" on WELLSPRING is like a vote AGAINST David Hasselhoff....

Now sit back and watch the FIRE-STORM at Wellspring....

P.S. I second one blogger's suggestion that you juxtapose images of yourself in similar poses. You could use your cats. C'mon! Vox populi, vox dei. Latin for DO IT!

Jess 9:05 AM, January 30, 2009  

Really, no one can beat the Hoff in versatility.

Unknown 9:08 AM, January 30, 2009  

Oh, thank you so much for that laugh (and a few snorts) on Friday...oh my gosh...

There's no upping the Hoff.

LoveOfShoes 9:11 AM, January 30, 2009  

There was an Anaconda 3??? How did I miss that one?!

Brian 9:44 AM, January 30, 2009  

can you please warn us next time before posting those. I think I'd rather see pictures of blisters on your toes

Anonymous,  9:46 AM, January 30, 2009  

I agree with Maria

tfh 9:57 AM, January 30, 2009  

I definitely think you need a t-shirt. A t-shirt and a rope swing.

K 10:00 AM, January 30, 2009  

I just spit out my coffee . Seriously. I'll be laughing for days. Thank you!

Borsch 10:38 AM, January 30, 2009  

lol...this was a great post!

Anonymous,  10:49 AM, January 30, 2009  

thank you, thank you, thank you... I needed this today!

jen 11:18 AM, January 30, 2009  

Oh why do I always have to be the one to point out errors in bad TV references? It makes me look like such a loser..

It's America's Got Talent, not Idol.


Sarah 11:24 AM, January 30, 2009  

Wait - I'm picking a fight with Jen. Because I'm equally as much of a loser. I totally thought he cried on American Idol last year - but I don't watch America's Got Talent, so he could have cried there too.

Steve Stenzel 11:45 AM, January 30, 2009  

No, sorry Jen, but he actually cried on Idol. I know he's a judge on America's Got Talent, but this was him crying watching the live finale of Idol.

I'm such a loser for knowing all that...

GoBigGreen 12:21 PM, January 30, 2009  

I can see it now. Steve in a speedo ( camo, no less) hanging from a ropeswing cheering on the finishers at a race! And dont get any cheeseburger ideas.
Have a great weekend!
We have to do the 500's sometime in the next few weeks. I will email some dates/times and maybe Pharmie can join us.

Chic Runner 12:26 PM, January 30, 2009  

This is just disturbing, but hilarious. Naked with puppies though.. wow!

Unknown 12:37 PM, January 30, 2009  

Man what a tool he is.

b 1:16 PM, January 30, 2009  

Shall I expect to see you spectating in one of these spectatular Hasselhoff outfits at Steelhead in August!?!

Adam 2:00 PM, January 30, 2009  

Love the Hoff post! Particularly the part about looking like a douche in camo shorts...I wear those all the time! Might have to reconsider my wife's plea to get rid of them. Once rode in an elevator with The Hoff in Toronto.

Benson 2:52 PM, January 30, 2009  

Very funny.
I shot milk out my nose.

Runner Leana 4:43 PM, January 30, 2009  

I feel really sorry for those puppies in the naked picture...

Shannon 5:05 PM, January 30, 2009  

The crying Hoff is hilarious. You could totally pull it off and should....I want pictures.

Anonymous,  5:40 PM, January 30, 2009  

I love the Hoff.

Almost enough to move to Germany.


Carly 8:46 PM, January 30, 2009  

LMAO....another very funny post.

akshaye 10:17 PM, January 30, 2009  

What is he doing to those puppies..

Meg 7:04 AM, January 31, 2009  

This is great! I never knew the full scope of his ridiculousness!

Trishie 11:08 AM, January 31, 2009  

the naked hoff + puppies.


that is all.

Kelly 3:21 PM, January 31, 2009  

Come on... havn't we all at some point laid on our floor shirtless and drunk and stuffed food in our mouths? At least I'm smart enough not to let anyone videotape it!

Calyx Meredith 4:07 PM, January 31, 2009  

I would sooo wear a "Sten the Zel" t-shirt. :D Seriously.

Triteacher 8:38 PM, February 01, 2009  

Now Steve, this is so unlike you. I really think you need to let your public judge whether or not you can pull off a Hasselhoff. Here's the deal - side-by-side photos of you in those poses and let us vote...

sRod 12:15 PM, February 04, 2009  

Wow. The puppies. When was that ever a good idea?

Keeno 8:38 AM, August 13, 2009  

hah he's such a legend!
up there with the greats, like Shatner and Shatner

I reckon that everyone love David Hasselhoff!

so much so I made a film about him to test the theory. So far he's 100% to the good

see what you think

The Hoff Vs. Keeno part 1 (youtube link)

cheers Keeno

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