One of the truths you come to learn in life is that there are many cool looks David Hasselhoff can pull off that you simply cannot. Despite how unfair that may be, it’s simply something you have to come to grips with. So, here are 12 Looks David Hasselhoff Can Pull Off, But I Can’t:
The Eye Patch. I operated under the impression that the Hoff lost an eye in a freak cigar accident for roughly two years after seeing this look.
Cuddling with Two Puppies. How does he look so masculine when it makes me look so femmy?
Cuddling with Two Puppies Naked. The Hoff is making it clear how much he owns me.
The Speedo / Leather Jacket Combo. I have neither the chest hair nor the package to pull this off. Well, maybe 1 out of 2...
Camo Shorts. Remember that time you tried on a pair and looked like a douche? Yeah, the Hoff didn’t have that problem.
Drunk and Shirtless Eating a Cheeseburger. Before I watched this video, it would have been impossible to believe someone could pull this off with such class and dignity. Just score another one for the Hoff.
The "Anaconda 3" Poster. If there’s another mutha in showbiz who’d look like they’re taking this role so seriously, we’re not aware of him.
Rocking a T-Shirt That References You in Third Person. For starters, my last name isn’t all that pun worthy. And no one is printing t-shirts about me.
The Lifeguard Look. No one ever starts singing "I'll be there…" to themselves when they see me holding a red buoy over my shoulder.
Looking Surprised on a Rope Swing. That’s all talent folks. No way around it.
Practicing Chipping in Drag. Well, chipping in drag is easy - doing it in front of a cardboard cutout of yourself is the hard part.
And Crying on American Idol. How is it that my friends would still be punching me in the junk if I teared up on Idol, yet the Hoff seems all the more awesome for it?
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42 comments:
Oh my freaking goodness I AM FIRST!!!
Dude you could totally pull off the Hoff look!!! Only better!!! I would rather look at you with icicles on your face than the Hoff!!!
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
oh my god, those poor puppies in the naked picture...
I think you should take pictures of yourself in these poses and let your blog readers decide if you can pull them off!
ROTFL!
Chipping in drag in front of BOTH a cut-out of yourself and a lame movie poster of yourself. I hope those wrinkly shar pei dogs are not an indicator of the state of his package.
TOO FUNNY!
The Hoff, yeah that's one sex machine if I've ever seen one :P
I'll take any of these to hang over my bed! Can ya link me up??!!! LOL!
Great pics-I agree that you look far better with the ice face!
It's as though I'd clicked on Manolo's Shoe Blog....
Can only pull off 1 of the 2? You've got a leather coat, huh.
Don't Sten the Zel, baby! it's going to catch on. totally.
i'm totally going to get some puppies and take some naked pictures now just so i can feel that inferior to the hoff.
Yes, these pictures raise some questions about popular taste, or at least somebody's taste....
Here Steve is, way more beautiful, but confined to a blog....
His audience is fit (sort of), but few....
He definitely needs to bust out of the media straight-jacket he's in....
No, not into a real one.... I mean, the BIG TIME....
We can help Steve MAKE IT....
Consider: Every vote for "STEVE IN A SPEEDO" on WELLSPRING is like a vote AGAINST David Hasselhoff....
Now sit back and watch the FIRE-STORM at Wellspring....
P.S. I second one blogger's suggestion that you juxtapose images of yourself in similar poses. You could use your cats. C'mon! Vox populi, vox dei. Latin for DO IT!
Really, no one can beat the Hoff in versatility.
Oh, thank you so much for that laugh (and a few snorts) on Friday...oh my gosh...
There's no upping the Hoff.
There was an Anaconda 3??? How did I miss that one?!
those poor puppies!
can you please warn us next time before posting those. I think I'd rather see pictures of blisters on your toes
I agree with Maria
I definitely think you need a t-shirt. A t-shirt and a rope swing.
I just spit out my coffee . Seriously. I'll be laughing for days. Thank you!
thank you, thank you, thank you... I needed this today!
Oh why do I always have to be the one to point out errors in bad TV references? It makes me look like such a loser..
It's America's Got Talent, not Idol.
Sigh..
Wait - I'm picking a fight with Jen. Because I'm equally as much of a loser. I totally thought he cried on American Idol last year - but I don't watch America's Got Talent, so he could have cried there too.
No, sorry Jen, but he actually cried on Idol. I know he's a judge on America's Got Talent, but this was him crying watching the live finale of Idol.
I'm such a loser for knowing all that...
I feel bad for those puppies...
Oh...Baywatch...LOL!
I can see it now. Steve in a speedo ( camo, no less) hanging from a ropeswing cheering on the finishers at a race! And dont get any cheeseburger ideas.
Have a great weekend!
We have to do the 500's sometime in the next few weeks. I will email some dates/times and maybe Pharmie can join us.
This is just disturbing, but hilarious. Naked with puppies though.. wow!
Man what a tool he is.
Shall I expect to see you spectating in one of these spectatular Hasselhoff outfits at Steelhead in August!?!
Love the Hoff post! Particularly the part about looking like a douche in camo shorts...I wear those all the time! Might have to reconsider my wife's plea to get rid of them. Once rode in an elevator with The Hoff in Toronto.
that's great!
Very funny.
I shot milk out my nose.
Snort.
I feel really sorry for those puppies in the naked picture...
The crying Hoff is hilarious. You could totally pull it off and should....I want pictures.
I love the Hoff.
Almost enough to move to Germany.
Almost.
LMAO....another very funny post.
What is he doing to those puppies..
This is great! I never knew the full scope of his ridiculousness!
the naked hoff + puppies.
wowzers.
that is all.
Come on... havn't we all at some point laid on our floor shirtless and drunk and stuffed food in our mouths? At least I'm smart enough not to let anyone videotape it!
I would sooo wear a "Sten the Zel" t-shirt. :D Seriously.
Now Steve, this is so unlike you. I really think you need to let your public judge whether or not you can pull off a Hasselhoff. Here's the deal - side-by-side photos of you in those poses and let us vote...
Wow. The puppies. When was that ever a good idea?
hah he's such a legend!
up there with the greats, like Shatner and Shatner
;)
I reckon that everyone love David Hasselhoff!
so much so I made a film about him to test the theory. So far he's 100% to the good
see what you think
The Hoff Vs. Keeno part 1 (youtube link)
cheers Keeno
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