Friday Funny 54: Overheard in T2

>> Friday, September 18, 2009

There are so many people that I helped in T2 this past weekend at Ironman Wisconsin who I will NEVER forget. But there’s one guy that stands out (for hilarious reasons).

A few hours into my shift in T2, I found myself helping this 45-55 year old man. He was a little shorter than average, and he had a round face and round features (think of a short Santa with no beard and a smaller tummy). He was SO GRATEFUL for anything I did. “Can I dump out your transition bag?” I asked. “Yeah! Thanks man!” he replied. He replied that way to most things I asked - everything he said ended with “thanks man!”

As he was getting geared up for the run, I was helping him put his bike stuff back into his transition bag: “Do you need this anymore? Can I put it in the bag?” He’d reply with “yeah, bag it up. Thanks man!” He was so sweet and so sincere the entire time. “Want these gels with you?” “Yeah, I'll take em,' thanks man!”

As he was nearly ready to go, he asked “Hey, do you guys have any Vaseline?...” People use Vaseline in some areas to prevent chaffing: nipples, armpits, thighs, etc. “Yeah, it’s over on the ‘med table.’ I’ll be right back...”

I came running back with a container of Vaseline. “Hey thanks man,” he said again. He reached 3 fingers into the Vaseline and came out with a huge glob of goo.

It’s the next line that kills me. This soft-spoken, middle-aged man spoke up a little louder this time. He loudly stated “God, my fuckin’ balls are KILLING me!...” as he reached his 3 fingers covered in Vaseline into his shorts and smeared them all over... well... all over his “fuckin’ balls.”

I nearly exploded with laughter. I had to hold back. I think he slightly apologized for being so blunt. I didn’t care: “Well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do” I said with a smile.

I wish I got his name or number so I could check his results. I hope he finished well, and I hope his balls are A-OK!


Update: Many of you left funny comments in the “wetsuit strippers” post from Wednesday (3 posts down). That was the post where I talked about Chris McDonald (AKA “Big Sexy”) and how I got to wear his goggles that he had dropped during my time helping peel wetsuits. (Afterwards, I placed them in his gear bag.) Some of you commented with remarks like “I wonder what Chris would think if he sees this post!”

Well, he saw the post. He actually commented. Yes he did.

Hey..... Big Sexy here :-)

This is Very very funny and steve should have just kept them as a souvenir. I will have to send him out a pair :-)


Holy crap. He’s sending me his goggles! Oh, and check out Chris McDonald’s blog. It’s so interesting for us “normals” to hear what the pros are thinking during their race. And it’s amazing that IM WI was Chris’s 29th Ironman! Thinking about that brings that slight vomit taste to the back of my mouth... ;)

Happy weekend!!


Gentry W 9:51 AM, September 18, 2009  

Steve - Great stuff! It was nice to meet you on Sunday.

My favorite moment of T2 was the guy that came back in the room and yelled "HEY" and then paused and I thought for sure he was pissed at something we did. Then he yells "You all are fucking awesome, just awesome" and then bolts back out.

Gentry Walker (aka DB on Beginner Tri)

Carolina John 10:31 AM, September 18, 2009  

Nice! sweet souveneer goggles.

i do hope that dude's balls are ok.

NJ 12:45 PM, September 18, 2009  

Hopefully his balls feel better now! LOL

How cool that CM saw your blog post about his goggles! Pros aren't as approachable in most other sports, but I love how in tri most are so down to earth and nice.

Alisa 12:47 PM, September 18, 2009  

Poor balls. I could see how they might get in the way =).

Awesome souvenior!

Jen Feeny 12:51 PM, September 18, 2009  

HILARIOUS!!! And so awesome that "Big Sexy" saw your post and commented! :)

LittleRachet 12:52 PM, September 18, 2009  

I don't know what has more awesomeness....the guy's comment about his balls or the fact that Big Sexy commented on your post! It's amazing who will run across your blog! (especially when you talk about them!!!) I'm waiting for a comment from Mr. Balls.....

Kim 12:53 PM, September 18, 2009  

you and big sexy can be BFF. can i tag along when you guys go out on a man-date? thanks.

Jeff McFarland 1:25 PM, September 18, 2009  

I knew you should have kept the goggles.

Shannon 3:35 PM, September 18, 2009  

"I wish I got his name or number so I could check his results. I hope he finished well, and I hope his balls are A-OK!"

Just a thought, you sure that's the only reason you want his name & #? LOL....

Have a great weekend!

Kevin 7:39 PM, September 18, 2009  

You dont have a man-crush, do you?

Bag-Balm works much better then vaseline, but I dont use a big glop of it

Missy 8:10 PM, September 18, 2009  

Kevin likes balm on HIS bags, apparently. He' likes the menthol feeling.

It's all good, the women do the 'floss' move with a towel in the womenfolk's changing tent and then have to glob in, not just around. Aren't you glad you asked?

Maybe he'll send you the used goggles with his spit on the lenses???

Calyx Meredith 8:12 PM, September 18, 2009  

Um - wow. I think I would have busted out laughing at the guy in transition. IM is its own very interesting world, isn't it?

And total score on getting a Big Sexy comment on your blog! You'll have to frame the goggles or something.

Nat 12:10 AM, September 19, 2009  

(Not of the balls story - EWW. But of the Macca story. Dang!)

Maria 9:18 AM, September 19, 2009  

awesome volunteer race reports! it was great to get a glimpse in the other side of the race.

E-Speed 4:55 PM, September 21, 2009  

awesome post! the transition story is hilarious. you get stuff like that all the time in ultras, glad to hear it is the same for ironman!

CoachLiz 8:24 PM, September 21, 2009  

OMG! HaHa!!! Thanks for that laugh. Great story.

I can see you blushing and sweating over your man crush and the fact that Chris read your blog and is sending you his goggles.

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