>> Wednesday, June 03, 2009
AKA Runners Trots
Yep, it happened. And it had been SOOO long since it last happened! Late this afternoon, I headed to the track for 3x1600 meters. The intervals felt hard, but my times were OK, so I just thought I was really working. (I ran them in 5:34, 5:35, and 5:40, all with 90 seconds rest in between.)
When I was walking through St. Thomas’s campus afterwards, my stomach gave a twitch. “Oh crap...” But it got better soon, so I thought I was OK. Three minutes later, it “twitched” again. Then the twitches started getting closer together. It was like having contractions, only I was about to have a shit baby.
I started jogging home. That made it worse. So I started walking REALLY fast. I didn’t think I could hold it. I turned into our alley, and thought I might have to duck behind someone’s trashcan and let loose. But then, 2 cars entered the other side of the alley, and I have a “don’t-poo-in-front-of-strangers-or-neighbors” policy, so I couldn’t do it. I REALLY didn’t know if I’d make it the final block through the alley.
I rushed into the house, and ran by Pharmie. “What’s the matter?...” she asked. I just pointed to my ass as I sprinted up the steps.
I sat down on the toilet just as the floodgates opened. Literally. I immediately flushed. As I flushed, I looked down to make sure there wasn’t blood and intestines in the toilet, because that’s kinda what it felt like. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever checked...) No blood - all was well. Sort of.
I poo-ed again. And flushed again. And opened the window. All the way. I ended up flushing 2 more times.
Well, after half a roll of toilet paper and a DEEP chug of Pepto, I was better. And not a moment too soon: 10 students were coming over for a CVA Tri Club workout 10 minutes later!!
I have a great poem about an incident like this from 3 years ago. Click here to check it out. I think it’s pretty good!...