Friday Funny 46: Lance Does an Ironman

>> Friday, July 24, 2009

I bet most of you have seen this, but a few of you maybe haven't. It's Lance Armstrong on SNL competing in a Ironman Triathlon. The premise is funnier than the actual skit, but still, it makes me smile:

(Here's the full size video on Hulu)

Coming Schedule:

- Friday afternoon: make homemade pasta for the CVA Tri Club.
- Friday night: shave arms and legs.
- Saturday afternoon: take the CVA Tri Club members to the race expo, show them the race site, hear a "course talk," and try out Chisago Lake.
- Saturday evening: homemade pasta feed for CVA Tri Club members at my place.
- Saturday night: bed time.
- Sunday morning: caravan up to Chisago City with the CVA Tri Club, and ROCK THE RACE!!

Here's the 4 members of the CVA Triathlon Club that are racing this weekend (these photos are them at work during prior CVA Tri Club workouts - you may remember a few of these):

Sarah and Hannah during a 3 mile run

Trent after his first brick workout

Evan practicing running out of the water after his first OWS

I have a favor to ask of all of you: If you have any words of wisdom / advice / encouragement for these 4 triathlon virgins racing this weekend, PLEASE leave your thoughts here!! I'll share all your well-wishes and encouragement with them when they come over for pasta tomorrow night. PLEASE keep them in your thoughts on Sunday, and check back to see how they all did!! Thanks everyone!!!

(p.s. Today [Friday] is the last day to be able to use the code "steveinaspeedo" [without the quotes] to get 25% off ANYTHING from 10:10 Wellness - that's the place where I get my Monkey!)


trigirl82 1:31 AM, July 24, 2009  

What a fun weekend ahead! :-)

Tell them good luck!

Advice? Hmm... Don't shit yourself.. I mean poo.. I mean, have fun! Hahaha. ;-) Seriously, have fun and race for yourself. What's the point if not, right?

Oh, and spandex rules. The end. ;-)

Pip 3:25 AM, July 24, 2009  

Unfortunately only you people in the US can view that video. My advice would have been similar to that of trigirl's. Have fun!

FLATOUT JIM 4:35 AM, July 24, 2009  

Damn Foiled again.

Can't open the ideo file outside the U.S.

I'll have to track it down myself on YT

FLATOUT JIM 4:37 AM, July 24, 2009  

OK Words of wisdom.

Question: What do you call the person that finishes last in a Triathlon?

Answer: A Triathlete!

ShirleyPerly 5:40 AM, July 24, 2009  

Funny video! (and now I want a helo over me during a swim :-)

1st time tri "wisdom" - The race ain't over until it's over. Every stroke, pedal, footstep, transition, etc., you have a chance to make it better. Also, make sure you know the rules. Nothing worse than getting a DQ on your first race!

Lindsay 6:15 AM, July 24, 2009  

good luck to the team!! they will all rock it.

i've never even attempted one so they are braver than i, therefore i also have no words of wisdom really.

goooood luck!

Jennifer 7:43 AM, July 24, 2009  

If you are moving forward, you are winning.


Keep going, even when it sucks!

Mohammad Arfeen 8:01 AM, July 24, 2009  

Best of luck, go out there and have fun, be realistic, demand the impossible.

Coach Liz 8:03 AM, July 24, 2009  

Words of Wisdom: Have a plan in place in case "the wheels fall off" such as a flat tire, loosing nutrition off the bike, getting kicked in the face on the swim, or loosing a timing chip and remain calm.

Most importantly thank the volunteers and the race director for a great event.

You and Raymaker are becoming more and more like each other. He just had a post on "My Giant Sac" and now you are making homemade pasta. Were you two separated at birth???

Katie 8:09 AM, July 24, 2009  

Be proud of the accomplishment! Signing up to do a tri is more than most would ever consider doing...

If things aren't going your way you have a choice to make, you can either let it get you down or you can dig deep and make the most of it. Cheer for others, thank the volunteers, and smile! It makes it all so much easier to do.

Most importantly, have fun! :)

Anonymous,  8:09 AM, July 24, 2009  

AWESOME guys!! Watch out - triathlons are addicting. Have a great time - should be amazing weather!


Kim 8:09 AM, July 24, 2009  

make sure your trishorts are on securely before ripping off your wetsuit ;)

you guys are going to do GREAT!!!!


M 8:10 AM, July 24, 2009  

I am so excited for you and the crew to take on the Tri this weekend! It has been such a pleasure watching you all progress through your training! Steve, you've be a TREMENDOUS support and coach, and to all the soon-to-be-triathletes - YOU ROCK!!!!! I will definately be thinking about you all this weekend, and can't wait to read the race report! -Megan

Anonymous,  8:11 AM, July 24, 2009  

I'm pretty much going to say the same thing as everyone else but: HAVE FUN.

Try to capture the race with your senses: what you see, what you hear, what you feel... and the sweet taste of victory of course :-)

You're all winners in my book!

E-Speed 8:19 AM, July 24, 2009  

Best of Luck!


make sure your helmet is clipped before you head out of transition!

Stretch out your legs last mile of the bike, stand up, loosen your back and calfs and spin in rather than hammering so you are ready to run!

and don't forget to have fun!

Charlotte 8:21 AM, July 24, 2009  

Hey Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan - you guys are gonna do great! Nothing like race day adrenaline to get you going! Just remember to pee in the lake - it's Steve Stenzel tradition;)

Ms. R 8:22 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good Luck CVAers!!! You're going to do so well on Sunday! Have fun, smile when it hurts, encourage your fellow racers on the course and know that you're doing something that most people would never dream of doing. I'm very excited for you! Just think, Sunday will be a PR!!!!!!!!!

trimybest 8:23 AM, July 24, 2009  

hmmm words of advice....dont shart!

good luck everyone!

Mario 8:25 AM, July 24, 2009  

Rest well tonight and tomorrow night. The hard part is over (the training), now you get to have fun and enjoy the race. GOOD LUCK!

Ride On,

Sof Sole 8:31 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck Triathlon Newbies! When you think of giving up, just ask your body for one more step, one more stroke, one more breath. I'm sure this will be the first of many for you all!

Happy Trails,
Carolyn and the gang at Sof Sole/ Implus Footcare

Iron Girl Nyhus 8:31 AM, July 24, 2009  

Hey Steve, Tell your team to have a good time! My first coach told me once before my first race, "Have fun, breathe, thank a volunteer, and its a race... so pass someone."

I'll be out there cheering so I will look for you all!

Jim Smith II 8:34 AM, July 24, 2009  

Great video!!

Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan (and Steve & Pharmie) - I'll tell you the same thing I tell my niece. Race hard, race fast, race smart, but most importantly HAVE FUN. Try (Tri?) your best, but don't forget to enjoy the journey as well.

Best of luck to all of you!! Can't wait to see the race reports!!

Keith 8:35 AM, July 24, 2009  

We know that Steve is a fierce uber-competitor that posts awesome times, and it sounds like he is doing a super job passing on what he knows. That said, for your first race, ignore the clock. There will be lots of races for improving your time. You will never again have a first race; enjoy the experience. Even if you are the last person to finish, you are still infinitely ahead of the people who never signed up.

Iron Jayhawk 8:36 AM, July 24, 2009  

Your first triathlon will likely be some of the most fun you've ever had with your clothes on (seriously!). Enjoy the day, ride through the ups and downs of your race, smile and have fun. Best of luck to all of you!!

- Barb

Unknown 8:38 AM, July 24, 2009  

I wish all of you guys good luck! The most important thing is so have fun and it will actually fly by leaving you wanting more.

Michelle 8:43 AM, July 24, 2009  

Enjoy! Remember, this pain too shall end. (and leave you wanting to come back for more!)

Julie 8:44 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good Luck CVA Tri Club members! The first one is always the most memorable! "Tri" your best, have fun, and smile when you finish, it makes for a better picture!

Have Steve make you some Monkey drinks's awesome! :)

Gabriel Losa 8:45 AM, July 24, 2009  

My advice? A crapy –but really useful- one: do it at your own pace.
Out there are you and the race. Nothing else matters.

As Murakami says: “the pain is going to be there, but the suffering is optional”. Enjoy the race!
And as Joe Kelly says: “When standing in starting line, remind yourself how fortunate you are to be there. If it was easy, everybody would be a Triathlete!”

Oh, and… be very, very proud!

Best of luck, people!!!

Greetings from Argentina!


Tri-Angle 8:47 AM, July 24, 2009  
This comment has been removed by the author.
xt4 8:50 AM, July 24, 2009  

Have fun and have a great race everybody! If I had any advice - and who the hell am I to be giving anybody advice - it would be to SMILE. Seriously, be conscious of it. If you go through the day remembering to smile, you'll be more relaxed and have more fun. Fo' real. Best of luck - can't wait to hear all about it!

Unknown 8:55 AM, July 24, 2009  

Best of luck CVAers!!! My advice like many others is just to have fun. And remember, you might not beat all your competition on the course, but you are beating millions of other people who don't have the courage to be out there with you that morning!

libgyrl 8:56 AM, July 24, 2009  

So much great advice already - my biggest mistake in a race is to get discouraged and then to loose focus and then stop having fun, all while preforming less well.

**Stay smiling, really it relaxes the whole body.
**Stay in the moment, smiling helps with that.
**Stay focused, lots of time for race evaluation or future plans AFTER the finish.
**Be proud of your efforts, which is yet another reason to SMILE!

Race strong!


Christi 9:00 AM, July 24, 2009  

I have not done a tri yet but my words of advice would be to just have fun!!!!!!

Regina 9:04 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck and have fun!

Don't cut yourself shaving!

Bootchez 9:05 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good Luck CVA'ers! My words of wisdom have to echo that of the first poster -- watch out for that sneaky poo! Don't freak out! Stay hydrated! Pee in your wetsuit! Smile and thank the volunteers and have lots of fun! Use this as an excuse to eat all that you want and have other people think you're awesome and should be treated special 'cause you JUST RAN A TRIATHLON!

Hell, my motivation is all kinds of messed up! Have a great time!

LittleRachet 9:08 AM, July 24, 2009  

You guys are so READY for this!!! Trust in your training. Do what you know. And if you encounter an obstacle, slow down and take a moment to think. That will cost you less time than if you make a bad decision. How many times have you swam? How many times have you biked? How many times have you run? This is no different!! Just do what you know and you will cross that finish line fully qualified TRIATHLETES!!

Musing Runner 9:10 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck and have fun! Enjoy the day, being outside, being with friends, being healthy and alive.


B.o.B. 9:12 AM, July 24, 2009  

Funny video. Lance is a fine actor. ;)

Absolute best wishes to everyone doing their first tri. I have no advice as I have never done one, so tell them to think of some advice for other newbies when they finish!

IronVince: IM WI 2009 and Beyond 9:15 AM, July 24, 2009  

Relax and have fun. It's as simple as that. We wouldn't do this to ourselves if it was not fun (in a sick sort of way). Enjoy the day, take in the sights.

Lastly, smile.

Danielle in Iowa in Ireland 9:19 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck guys! And before the race, when Steve is in the water waist deep with a content look in his eyes, avoid the area around him.

Wish I could be there this year!

richvans 9:28 AM, July 24, 2009  

XT4 is right - smile even when it hurts and you will feel better. So as my sherpa says - SMILE DAMMIT!

Sara Cox Landolt 9:37 AM, July 24, 2009  

This is so cool!!! On race day, remember this: no one can make you feel inferior without YOUR permission. (E. Roosevelt.) I remind myself this before every race when all the athletes are strutting around... Enjoy!!!

Anne 9:47 AM, July 24, 2009  

We've all enjoyed following along with your training, you four. "Enjoy" every moment of this weekend's race and remember, you never forget your first. The preparations, the pain, the agony and the ecstacy are just the beginning of a very long and prosperous journey for you all.

Lisa,  9:52 AM, July 24, 2009  

Say, WHATTTTTT! Gitty up cowfolks - get your booty call on and git after it in the tri this weekend - rock dat tang!!!!

Becky 9:57 AM, July 24, 2009  

If you're switching from biking shoes to running shoes, remember to have your running shoes untied in the transition area so you can put them on quickly. I certainly forgot to do this at my first tri! Also, if you get a sideache during the run, do a couple somersaults. I also did this during my first tri, and the sideache went away! (Learned this trick from my college cross country coach) Good luck!

21stCenturyMom 10:17 AM, July 24, 2009  

Dear Newbie Triathletes - you are about to have the most weekend fun you've had since the first time you got to carry your own bag for Trick or Treat. This is better than your first fast sled ride. You will cross the finish line and fall in love with yourself all over again.

I can't wait to hear how you did!

Spokane Al 10:37 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck to everyone and keep smiling!

And I am betting on the tattooed lady to rock the course!

bigmike600 10:52 AM, July 24, 2009  

Race your own race. Don't worry about what others are doing, foucs on what you know your body can do. But since it is your first one. Enjoy it. Look around, check out other people and the crowd. You will get a true sense of what makes the sport of triathlon so unique.

Charisa 10:56 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck - make sure you shave your arms and legs JUST LIKE STEVE!!!! :) Have a great time - it's all for fun!

RunningLaur 11:30 AM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck to all of the racers tomorrow!

If you smile while you're racing, you'll be more relaxed and happy :)
and if you need motivation to smile, think of the beer you earned at the end!

Unknown 11:52 AM, July 24, 2009  

My advice is to enjoy every moment of it. You only get one FIRST time.

Best wishes!!

UltraMamaC 11:58 AM, July 24, 2009  

I've only done two of these, so take my advice for what it's worth, but HAVE FUN! You can worry about performance goals next time (and you will want there to be a next time!). Enjoy the day and revel in what your body can do! Go team!!

Jennifer P 12:15 PM, July 24, 2009  

Advice: take off your helmet before hitting the run. Nothing says newbie more than runnking 5K in your helmet.

Good luck!

Dan D. 12:17 PM, July 24, 2009  

As someone who has just recently switched from racing duathlons to participating in triathlons, HAVE FUN! They can be tremendously enjoyable when you're not overly preoccupied with splits and keeping tabs on who else is in your age group. Good luck!

Jayson 12:18 PM, July 24, 2009  

Since this is your first tri:

Take in the surroundings, and remember to have fun. You've trained a lot for this and probably have a goal for your finish time. Don't forget that, it is why you've put in all this work, just remember to enjoy yourself. There will be plenty of time later to get faster.

ShesAlwaysWrite 12:52 PM, July 24, 2009  

Have a great race!! Just remember to smile for the photographers and thank the volunteers and you'll have a blast!

Dori 12:52 PM, July 24, 2009  

I've never done a triathlon, but I have run marathons, and I never allow myself to have a negative thought. I don't question why I'm doing this, I just do it. I've learned that a positive attitude ensures a positive outcome, regardless of my finish time. When the going gets tough, I remind myself that I'm stonger than I think I am. And so are you! Good luck!

Sarah 12:59 PM, July 24, 2009  

Relax, breathe and enjoy. Settle in on the swim and think about your stroke. It will help push all of the nerves out of your body. Have fun and celebrate, it's only your first time once! ;)

SM 1:10 PM, July 24, 2009  

Take your bike helmet off before the run!
Thank all the volunteers!
Use your own bodyglide!
Most of all have fun and enjoy the race. remember not everyone can do a tri.


Stef0115 1:17 PM, July 24, 2009  

For me, triathlon transformed my whole life.

The experience can be as "deep" as that or it can be anything else.

Do your best out there, stay confident, and have FUN! You've done the work now you get to put it all together on race day!

Can't wait to hear how you all did.


Carolina John 1:25 PM, July 24, 2009  

Best of luck to the CVA tri club! once you complete your first triathlon, you join an elite group of people who replace fear with adventure. welcome to the club!

Tea 2:13 PM, July 24, 2009  

I'm so happy for you guys. You are absolutely going to love the race. I can't wait to read about it and see all the pictures. If we could all be there to cheer you on, we would. In the meantime, think about us when you are out there. I know when I think I can't go on, I think of everyone who has supported me. It pushes me to finish.


Tea 2:13 PM, July 24, 2009  

Oh, I forgot to sign my name: Tea

Melanie 2:14 PM, July 24, 2009  

Best wishes to them all on their first tri! I've never completed a tri myself, but I remember how I felt the week leading up to my first marathon on through how I felt in the days after I finished it. It's going to be amazing for all of them!

Linsey Corbin 3:49 PM, July 24, 2009  

Sarah, Hannah, Trent & Evan - I hope you are really excited for your first triathlon. What an exciting time for you! Best of luck at the race - beware, they are very addicting :). You will be signing up for Ironman before you know it. Have a great day out there, I will be cheering for you.
Linsey Corbin

Eric 3:53 PM, July 24, 2009  

Team CVA Tri,

Have a great time with your first triathlon. Make sure you have fun and enjoy your accomplishment. Know that you will not be alone as a group of high school girls I have been helping coach will also be completing their first triathlon the same morning.

Sixteen Chickens 4:13 PM, July 24, 2009  

If you need any more inspiration read this article... you'll soon see how far ahead of the pack you are.

Good luck everyone!

P.S. Steve, your Mom paid me to leave that "Adorable Baby comment" on the last post. Tell her I'm eagerly awaiting that check in the mail.

Unknown 4:33 PM, July 24, 2009  

You're such a great and dedicated coach! Best of luck to the newbies. This was my mantra for my first 1/2 marathon, but I think it works well for anything, I got it from a song:

"Don't think about all the things you feel, just be glad to be here"

Just do it.

Anonymous,  4:58 PM, July 24, 2009  

Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan:

Race like a buncha monkeys! (translate: have a ridiculously fun time)

1010 Chris

Julia 5:47 PM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck to all the triathletes! Im sending them allllll of my good vibes from Cali!

Garry 7:54 PM, July 24, 2009  

To Sara, Hannah, Evan and Trent. Good luck this weekend in your first tri. Hopefully this is the beginning of a long and passionate love affair with this wonderful sport. On race remember to enjoy the sights, sounds and commoraderie that accompanies these races. Stay in the moment and enjoy it all. Have fun!

Stefanie 8:20 PM, July 24, 2009  

I sent you an email with my advice! Good Luck this weekend gang!!!

KK 8:32 PM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck to your art school entourage!!! What an exciting endeavor. Cheers!

Kelly 8:45 PM, July 24, 2009  

My advice is to SMILE when you cross the finish line. I ALWAYS seem to forget that one, and my photos look like crap!

Anonymous,  8:54 PM, July 24, 2009  

Good luck Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan on your first tri. You are all truely an insperation.

"It is a sublime thing to suffer and be stronger."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American Poet and Educator

Kick Ass,
Jason in North Carolina

Anonymous,  10:38 PM, July 24, 2009  

Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan- Have faith that you can do this! You have trained hard and now all of that is going to majorly pay off! At the end of day on Sunday you are going to go to bed with a huge smile on your face. And even though it may be the ONLY muscle in your body that isn't hurting it will be worth it! (or so I'm told..I haven't exactly done my first tri yet!) lol Hey....I'm trying to be encouraging!!! BEST OF LUCK!!!! You'll do GREAT!!! Christine

Anonymous,  12:26 AM, July 25, 2009  

Good luck from Vancouver! A great day and adventure awaits you...

1) trust in your training - you are meant to be here.

2) we all run our own race, in life and in triathlon. No one can ever take this experience away from you!!

3) if you experience moments of panic (ack! I can't do this!!) during the first 10 mins of the swim, greet the 'stinkin thinkin' with a "hey! you're that panicky feeling I heard about" like an old friend...and give your mind a chance to talk down any physical's normal. Remember that!

4) aren't we lucky to have arms and legs that move together to create this fun experience?? Have an amazing race!!!

BreeWee 1:14 AM, July 25, 2009  

Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan!! Hope I'm not too late to wish you luck (I'm on a way later time zone)...

My most favorite things to remember are:
If you have REALLY bad butterflies pre race be thankful (that means you care)-it's a good sign to care about your race :)

The race IS the easy part-training is often hard, lonely, painful, and we sacrifice a lot to do it, the race is like a celebration of all that hard work!

HAVE fun, just go enjoy it all because we are SOOOOO blessed to be able to do this!

Stay in the moment... when you drift off get back to where you are and make every second count so when the race is over you don't have any regrets.

Just fricken' go for it! Take some chances, believe in yourself, and make it hurt sooooo gooooood!

My first triathlon I remember thinking (during the run), I AM NEVER doing this again, it was like I was dying a slow death. BUT there is magic at the finish line, you feel better in an instant and then you do another one :)

Have a great race. I hope you find lots of smiles on the race course!!

Jenny Davidson 9:29 AM, July 25, 2009  

Yes, best of luck to you all, have a wonderful time out there! No self-criticism afterwards if the race does not go quite as you hoped - there is always something to be learned, and there is always another race ahead to put it into practice...

Jamie 9:40 AM, July 25, 2009  

Have a great race guys! Throughout the whole race, focus on the reason why you are out there and have a blast!

Jenny Evans 10:28 AM, July 25, 2009  

Go go go! You are part of a small minority who pushes themselves to the edge - use that mindset everywhere and you will kick ass in all aspects of life! Congratulations!

KodaFit 10:43 AM, July 25, 2009  

Good Luck Tomorrow Guys & Gals!!!

My 2 pieces of wisdom...

1 - Don't forget to remove your helmet in T2... Family members will still bring it up 17 months later if you head out on the run with it.

2 - Start Slow & Easy, and then leave it all out on the course at the end. Even if you finish last, use up every bit of energy as you finish the run.

bigmike600 12:04 PM, July 25, 2009  

One last thing that I think is very important....The last finisher at the tri is every bit as important as the first finisher and should be treated as such.

J~Mom 1:33 PM, July 25, 2009  

Sarah, Hannah, Trent, and Evan,

Good luck and above all else remember to smile and enjoy!!!

Anonymous,  1:59 PM, July 25, 2009  

You should tell them that if they run really hard, they'll get beautifully gross/grossly beautiful feet, just like yours!

Well, almost.

One of your Toronto admirers. Probably ALL!

Unknown 2:23 PM, July 25, 2009  

Good luck tomorrow! Remember that when you get in the water, everyone is warming it up, so let it flow!!

Kevin 7:36 PM, July 25, 2009  

Good luck. Most important, remember to breathe

I liked that skit from SNL. The funny thin in Lances Team RS announcement it said running,tri, and cycling. Should be interesting

Jumper 2.0 9:50 PM, July 25, 2009  

Oh, I so wish that I was here to comment on time. Not that I would have anything more to say, the comments are great! The feeling of accomplishment that you will feel at the finish is amazing! Enjoy, have fun! Tomorrow you are a Triathlete!

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