Why You Should NOT Purchase Race Photos!

>> Saturday, January 01, 2011

Yesterday, I had my 1,000th post. I didn't have time to do anything too fun, so I thought I'd "celebrate" now with #1,001. So lets have some fun..... ;)

Recently, I got an e-mail from my buddy Sean. He works for Final Stretch (a local race organization), and said he had come across 2 "full-sized" race photos of me from the Waseca Triathlon. He sent me these 2 images:

On the bike.

On the run.

Those two images were DRASTICALLY scaled down from the original files. The originals were 3,456 x 5,184 pixels, or around the 18 megapixel range! If I were to zoom into the photo above to 100%, it'd be THIS BIG:

I've never ordered an official race photo before, so I thought I'd take a CLOSE look at these images.

First, the one on the bike. When I looked close at my face, I saw that my helmet was a little crooked, and my visor was poking me sideways in the nose:


Then I looked farther south. Remember, this was the race where I first wore the "Tutti Frutti" swim shorts, and they have NO padding! They are just swim shorts. So that made THIS an extra lovely shot:

There could be FEWER fat rolls on top and MORE "fat" rolls on the bottom.
If you get my drift.

Then I saw my shoulder. Is this divot normal? It looks like I had something removed:

Is that normal? Yikes.

Then I looked closely at the photo of me on the run. There are a lot of "issues" with the way I look in this photo (expression and hair are the worst), but I like seeing my shadow in the reflection of my glasses:

And then I saw my hand. My DANG PINKY was sticking out just a little! Why do I "daintily" run with my pinky out when I start to hurt?!?

Side Note: you've seen this "pinky out" issue before. Here's an image from the Liberty Tri this last year....

Oh so dainty.

....and here's one from the end of 2009 when I was sprinting to the line of the Monster Dash 10 Mile:

That pinky is WAY out there!

Then I looked just below my pinky in that race photo from Waseca.

Do you know what NO ONE wants to see in their race photos? Love handles.

Do you know what's WORSE than love handles? HAIRY love handles!

Screw you, race photographer. I didn't need to see that.

When I thought I was done looking at the train wreck known as my race photos, I looked BEHIND me in the photo of me on the run. The photographer actually captured drips of sweat coming off of me during that HOT run. These little specks are only visible below my waist, as if beads of sweat were rolling off my leg hair:


Let me state this for the record:







I'm just a nasty mo-fo. Gross.

(Back with 2 race reports on Monday and Tuesday: Pharmie's 10K and my indoor 5000 meters.)


Keith 9:59 AM, January 01, 2011  

You know Steve, most men only pay that much attention to photos of women. And really, those photos aren't bad, all things considered. You're actually in motion, and not looking like you're about to puke, pass out, or any number of other things best not talked about, let alone captured in a photo.

RobbyB 3:15 PM, January 01, 2011  

I agree with Keith; You're such a girl.

ann 3:24 PM, January 01, 2011  


Carolina John 3:24 PM, January 01, 2011  

hairy love handles? sweat flying from your legs?

Sounds to me like you just need to shave dude. I've been thinking it's about time to start up again with the hair removal.

Adrienne 4:33 PM, January 01, 2011  

too much analyzing.....you look just fine in both :)

Dr. TriRunner 5:04 PM, January 01, 2011  

Hhahahah you just elicited my hardest laugh yet of 2011!! And I just showed my roommate your farm animals dance video. I still really want to be one next year. Would you let me??

p.s. You do not have a search bar!! It took me a solid 10 minutes to find that video.

chia 5:58 PM, January 01, 2011  

Wow. I needs me a pair of those shorts LOL!

Pretend this is real 10:12 PM, January 01, 2011  

Ahahaha! Love it. Particularly the sweat beads rolling off your leg hair. (I'm going to ignore the "fat rolls on the bottom".) Happy New Year!

Aka Alice 12:49 AM, January 02, 2011  

Dude... one word Photoshop.

SteveQ 1:42 PM, January 02, 2011  

I bought a photo from my fastest marathon - I looked great (really. It looked like a Sports Illustrated cover). Recently, someone seeing it said, "Wow! You looked just like Jude Law! (long pause) So what the h___ happened?" Even the good ones turn on you eventually.

SingletrackJenny (formerly known as IronJenny) 8:42 AM, January 03, 2011  

Thankfully you can't see the spot where your cat licked off your chest hair.

Greenking17 "TRI-harder" 9:33 AM, January 03, 2011  

Glad you could find a reason to post the pics Steve! I just want to note that the pics did come from Minnefota Moments who do good work in photography at many of the Final Stretch races! Happy New Year! : )

Ellen 5:28 PM, January 04, 2011  

Amen brother! I can barely stand my own husband's photos of events. Basically, I'm going to have a stock photo taken and use it for all races.

Shawn 1:45 PM, January 20, 2011  

I think I might actually have a 'one up' on you. Rather then my pinkie sticking out when I run, I tend to extent my pointer when I'm tired. So, I'm running down the road making 'finger guns' at everyone. so, so sad.

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