Two Runs: Some Fartleks, and When I Shit Myself

>> Monday, March 05, 2018


I mentioned last Wednesday that I'll be racing this upcoming weekend, so last Friday was going to be my only speedwork between the YWCA Indoor Triathlon and my next race.

Well, I mentioned in my last post that I was sick Wednesday and Thursday, but I was feeling OK enough to try a LITTLE hard running on Friday. I actually couldn't sleep, so I headed out at 5 a.m. for a quick hard run. I did 1/2 of a Coach Jen fartlek workout that she gave me 7 years ago. It's basically a random few minutes of hard running (15:00 total) with easy running of 50% of the last hard effort. Coach Jen had me do this rotation 2x back-to-back years ago, but I just did this once on Friday:

BOLD means hard efforts.

Fartlek of hard efforts of 3, 2, 4, 1, and 5 minutes, with 50% easy running rest.

1.5 mile warm up.

3:01 = 0.51 miles (5:54.9 pace)
1:31 = 0.20 (7:41 pace)
2:00 = 0.33 miles (6:03.6 pace)
1:01 = 0.12 (8:30 pace)
4:01 = 0.65 miles (6:10.8 pace)
2:01 = 0.26 (7:51 pace)
1:02 = 0.18 miles (5:44.4 pace)
0:31 = 0.06 (8:21 pace)
5:01 = 0.83 miles (6:02.7 pace)
2:31 = 0.31 (8:07 pace)

1.5 mile cool down.

I didn't know how fast I was going as I was doing them, except for the first hard effort (because I got JUST over 0.5 miles in 3:00, so I knew I was JUST under 6:00 pace). I had hoped to keep all of the hard efforts under 6:00 pace, but it was what it was.


When we woke up yesterday morning, it was still dry outside (even though it was a brisk 35 degrees), and it was about to rain. I decided to head out for my long run ASAP. That way, even if it started to rain on my run, I'd be back home and able to change out of my wet clothes at the end of my run. (The alternative was to run to the gym later where I'd be stuck at the gym in my wet clothes.) So I had a quick breakfast, and a quick poop.

See, that last part is where the problem started.

I usually "work up" a "nice" poop after 30 minutes of being awake or so. I didn't have that kind of time. So I took off with a few gut rumbles. It wasn't bad, and it quieted down, so I forgot all about a potential "bathroom emergency" issue that could be brewing.

It started raining around mile 2.5, but that was OK.

Around mile 5 (when I was 3 miles from home), I had a fart brewing. I quick "popped" it out, and thought that was it.

But 2 steps later, I realized that WASN'T it.

It had been more than a fart. I forgot I had been holding that in at the start of my run. Damn it.

I was now running into the 20+ mph wind, rain was pelting me hard in the face, it was 35 degrees, and my ass was squishy in my shorts. Fan-freaking-tastic.

I headed straight home, but actually, the squishiness didn't feel TOO bad once I got home, so I ran a few more blocks to get well over 8 miles in. Then I ran into the house, said "don't stop loving me" to my wife (in reference to this running incident from nearly 12 years ago), and told her not to come in the bathroom as I was in the shower. "The... the shower?" she asks. Then she laughs and realizes what probably happened out on my run.

Well, in the end, my shorts had little "damage." I showered, scrubbed my cheeks, and then threw my shorts and pants in the wash. Everything is A-OK today. Whew.


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