>> Sunday, August 02, 2009
This isn’t one of those hypothetical situations where I’m really talking about myself. Really. I’m sincerely looking for advice for a friend.
A friend of mine is having relationship issues because of how much time she spends working out and training for races. Her significant other thinks she’s “selfish” and wishes she’d have more time to spend with him. She started dating him when she was a student and he was working all the time - she could workout 2 hours a day, and he’d be at work so he wouldn’t care. Now that she has a full-time job as well, she has to train after work during “their time.”
I was “that guy” once. When Pharmie and I were dating in college, she was training for her first few marathons. (I wasn’t into running or triathlons at that point.) I remember bringing up a conversation something like “well, do you like me or running more?” What an ass. Pharmie didn’t push me into running and tris, but after a few years, I just started getting sucked in. Now I can’t imagine a conversation like that between us. We both just understand that we might spend a weekend “together” out on separate long bike rides or runs.
My friend asked me for advice on how to handle her significant other. Actually, since I’ve been blogging, many people have asked me questions like this, and I NEVER have a good answer. Have any of you been through this situation? How should someone handle this situation? I’m sure there’s no easy answer, but if you have any thoughts, we’d GREATLY appreciate it.
Here’s the best answer that I HAVEN’T sent her: “Before leaving for each workout, spend 15 minutes doing whatever he’d like to him. Think... sexually. Not annoyed anymore, is he?” Yeah, probably not the best idea. Or is it? I dunno. I’m bad at this.
If you have any advice, ideas, thoughts, or shared experiences, I (and my friend) would REALLY appreciate it! Thanks everyone!!
Update (4 hours 30 minutes after posting): My friend saw this post before I was able to tell her about it, and she’s seen the first 10 comments or so as well.
Here’s part of what she wrote to me: “...it looks like the most common answer among the majority is compromise... running jayhawk, trimybest, and jess have been the most help!”
Thanks for all your thoughts! Please, keep them coming!