OK, So My Marriage Is Fine

>> Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sorry to scare anyone with my post yesterday. But you gotta admit, my wife is one clever lady. What a funny post!

And I shouldn’t be surprised at the lady’s reaction at Target when she thought I might like boys. Because of some of the things I write about on this blog, some people have searched for some VERY strange things and ended up here. According to my Stat Counter, these Google searches have landed people on my blog:

• can playing with your nipples make them bigger
• how to make my nipples hard
• speedo whore
• whitey tighties tube sock story
• explain penis milking
• triathlon and nude men changing clothes outside
• i saw his huge cock
• sasquatch speedo
• boys without their speedos
• speedo saggy balls

And one of the weirdest ones:

• i wanna spread your legs and attack that hairy animal

Wow. My blog shows up on the second page of searches for that one. I don’t know what to say. And there are plenty more that are REALLY strange. Maybe I'll post them someday.

Anyway, I’m still looking forward to Borsch and I competing on Sunday as Team Tighty-Whitie at the Osceola Duathlon. I’ll be running some intervals after work today for one more speed session before taking it easy the rest of the week. (I don’t know what to do. I might do 1200s, but I’m also thinking about doing a ladder: 400, 800, 1200, 1600, 1200, 800, 400. I’ll figure it out before I start.)

I’ve been in a little funk the last few days. I’m getting a little overwhelmed with starting all kinds of big projects in my different classes. And my studio is horribly disorganized. And I have a small solo show coming up in a few months in a gallery on the east coast, so I need to be getting work ready for that. It’s just a number of small things that are dragging me down a little. I’m going to take some time tomorrow to schedule out the next few months of my life to get this all back on track. Hopefully that will help.

When I feel like this, I think of 2 things.


And secondly, I remember that this guy is only our president for a FEW more months...

...and that always makes me cheer up a little.


Borsch 8:08 AM, September 24, 2008  

You have a solo show coming up? I didn't know....Congrats!

I'm totally stoked for this DU...Has anyone use the work "Stoked" in a while? Hmmm...lets NOT bring that back.

I'm going to do a HARD bike today...Some eagan riders are going to join me, but we are doing no stops, and shooting for a 20+mph on a route I've never done over 18.4. Should be a good 'pre-game' for Sunday. Whooot whoot!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg 8:21 AM, September 24, 2008  

Wow. These posts (your wife's included) are hysterically funny. I just discovered this blog and have so far only read the last few. But I intend to spread your legs and attack that hairy animal, which I have to assume is just this blog's argot for "read the archives." Right?

If not, well ... at least my quoting that phrase should get your blog showing up on the first page of any search involving said phrase.

Thanks for the larf and for letting me penis milk here (which I have to assume is your argot for "post a comment").

Lily on the Road 8:24 AM, September 24, 2008  

you are too funny, dang, I can't see your pictures...I'll try again later.

Do tell more on your show!!!

Felice Devine 8:52 AM, September 24, 2008  

Oh, I HATE it when bananas get all cornified. That's why we really need to support all of our banana farmers in the midwest!

K 9:26 AM, September 24, 2008  

Once again, another hilarious post. Thanks for making me laugh. Especially "Speedo Saggy Balls"...Damn who comes up with this stuff and what were they really trying to find??? LOL!

ncrunner12 9:35 AM, September 24, 2008  

Congrats on getting your solo show, that's awesome. There are some very odd folks out there, i couldn't even come up with some of those to even search for... and for that I'm grateful. And like you I get a smile on my face know that the end of an error is close.

MtngirlinCali 9:41 AM, September 24, 2008  

Gee, with all those sketch search terms, I wonder if it's safe to read your blog at work! :) Love it, though.... Good luck this weekend!

Jess 10:04 AM, September 24, 2008  

I can only imagine the disspointment some of those searchers might have felt when their key words landed them here. Wonder if any were intrigued enough to lurk for awhile.

IronGambit 10:26 AM, September 24, 2008  

He would use the toilet paper role ! ;)

Jamie 10:56 AM, September 24, 2008  

I'm posting this again just because I really want you to be the number one listing when you search in google for:

i wanna spread your legs and attack that hairy animal

You get all the crazy gays, I get all the chicks worrying about if spinning will give them fat asses. I don't get this whole google thing...

I may have do some audience pandering soon...

Benson 11:06 AM, September 24, 2008  

Geez man, you are one popular guy... with the creepy google crowd anyway.
Thanks for the laughs and all the best for a good show.

Aron 11:16 AM, September 24, 2008  

O.M.G. those searches are TOO much! LOL.

i get like that too when a bunch of things just need to be done and i just have hard time getting started. taking a day and getting it all organized always helps me - good luck!

zanne 11:19 AM, September 24, 2008  

the keyword thing cracks me up. i have top billing on google for: mile long boobs.

i thought that was pretty funny.

but you have out googled me.

i can't help but think how disappointed people are when they google mile long boobs and arrive at my blog. imagine same people feel equally gypped when arriving to your digs after googling speedo saggy balls. people are weird.

J~Mom 11:19 AM, September 24, 2008  

Did you hear what Tina Fey said at the Emmys? Cracked me up...help her to be done playing Sarah Palin by November 5th. :>)

Anonymous,  11:33 AM, September 24, 2008  

I always need to make schedule to get everything I need done and straight. The what would Macgyver do picture is great!

Maggs 11:39 AM, September 24, 2008  

haha. I thought the list of words that people googled to get to my blog was strange. Thanks for making me laugh.

Sonia 12:21 PM, September 24, 2008  

"i wanna spread your legs and attack that hairy animal"

OMFG This is hilarious! Love it!

Jenni G 12:48 PM, September 24, 2008  

Gotta love the Google Stats! LMAO!

Donald 1:29 PM, September 24, 2008  

Wow ... gotta love those searches. You're just a few notches removed from having a porn blog. Maybe you should start charging for subscriptions.

Charlotte 1:42 PM, September 24, 2008  

I try to never read the search strings that lead people to my site. I find it makes me want to hurt random strangers and/or stay home for the rest of my life.

Good luck with your projects!

Fizzgig 1:43 PM, September 24, 2008  

IVE HAD some strange hits....but yours are pretty sexual. perv. =)

JT 1:51 PM, September 24, 2008  

No dissin' good ole GB!

21stCenturyMom 2:49 PM, September 24, 2008  

Imagine searching for a good wide open beaver shot and getting you in your bowel of sunshine, instead. Sort of like wanting a banana and getting an ear of corn instead!

What if he's replaced by McPalin? Just pretend that the outcome of the election depends on how you and Borsche do at the race and go fast!

Jess 3:31 PM, September 24, 2008  

HAHAH I love the searched that people end up on your blog from! Too funny!

Julianne 4:11 PM, September 24, 2008  

What is penis milking??? I need to know, I think! LOL. I need to get a stat counter... pronto!!!

triguyjt 4:34 PM, September 24, 2008  

ohhh my god, the bush (i was gonna say shot...but I mean bush picture...was hilarious....
we can all plainly see that he's holding up a squash ;)

now get back to your penis milking

brendaj 5:18 PM, September 24, 2008  

Getting organized always cheers me up!!

jen 5:30 PM, September 24, 2008  

Ha ha, love the photos. You are awesome. Good luck on your upcoming challenges!

Cindy 5:31 PM, September 24, 2008  

so incredibly awesome! those searches are so...specific.
okay, now i'm going back to read your other post.

teacherwoman 8:31 PM, September 24, 2008  

wow! Those searches are rediculous!

How did you figure out what people searched for... I have sitemeter, but don't know how you figured that out?!

Renee 9:11 PM, September 24, 2008  

You know Steve, I am kind of worried about your marriage still. I mean, you did make a comment about my boyfriends legs.....hmmmm.

Frayed Laces 9:20 PM, September 24, 2008  

"i wanna spread your legs and attack that hairy animal"

hmmm...isn't that what your estetician (sp?) said right before she ripped wax off your naaaaaaasty back?

And um, I think waxing gives credence to the whole gay thing too.

Anonymous,  7:41 AM, September 25, 2008  

And I thought some of the phrases that got people to my blog were weird! Yours wins hands down!!!!

AddictedToEndorphins 8:58 AM, September 25, 2008  

You're hilarious. I love the last pic!

If you're feeling overwhelmed, look at priorities. Maybe one day you can enlist some friends to help you organize and then buy them pizza!

Kevin 9:52 AM, September 25, 2008  

Wow. You may need to add a disclaimer to the top of your blog

Read At your own risk

Anonymous,  11:25 AM, September 25, 2008  

buck up! yes... i did just say that. i hope to hear more about your show!

Anniversary Moments 12:48 PM, September 25, 2008  

you find the funniest pictures -- you are an internet wizard for the bizzare, strange and outright hilarious. you could open a business finding pictures to sum up what someone wants to say.

RooBabs 2:20 PM, September 25, 2008  

Wow- those are some seriously whacked searches. Now I have to go check my stat counter.

That's cool about your solo show. Good luck with getting everything back on track. How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time...

Anonymous,  10:59 PM, September 25, 2008  

Ha ha ha Steve's goin solo, what else is new?

Judi 2:42 PM, September 26, 2008  

Before I knew who Pharmie was, I totally thought you were on the other team. :)

Have fun this weekend!

K 1:17 PM, September 30, 2008  

Ok, this is a little late, but I put in the search term, "hairy wax monster attacked speedo" in google and got your website.

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