Friday Funny 790: Man vs. Ice Cream

You all know "former student Jeremy." He raced a lot of the 2012 Grand Prix races with me, and we've teamed up TWICE this year:

Our first place relay (NEARLY setting a course record) at the Trinona Triathlon.


Another first place relay at the Waconia Triathlon.

Well, he recently went to Nelson's Ice Cream Shop here in St. Paul, and he tried to conquer "the lumberjack." That's 5 softball-sized scoops of ice cream and a ton of toppings. If you finish it by yourself, you get your photo on a "hall of fame" wall. Jeremy's attempt was well documented by his friend Emily, and she kept the updates coming on Facebook. Here's how it went down (with Emily's captions):

Jeremy vs The Lumberjack


8:27pm: Jeremy has asked to borrow my hoodie and said, "I am beginning to doubt myself."


8:36pm: We have moved outside because it is warmer. Jeremy has
uncontrollable shakes. He admits, "Maybe I wasn't ready for this."


8:42: Jeremy is contemplating his life decisions.
[OH GOD, HIS EYES!!!! Ha!]


8:47pm: "I'm going to throw up."


8:53pm: "I've never hated ice cream so much in my life."


8:58pm: "My heart is beating really hard. I think I have a fever. My body is shutting down."


9:03: "Where is that fried fish smell coming from?" Jeremy can't focus on
the ice cream and is highly sensitive to his surroundings.


9:05pm


9:12pm: Second wind.


IT IS FINISHED.


[Jeremy's post:] That was honestly the single most sinful, satanic thing I've done in my entire life.

Jeremy posted later: "Thank you to all of my supportive friends and fans. I couldn't have done it without you. Word of advice: never do it. It's the worst thing ever and I think ice cream and I are no longer on speaking terms."

And when someone asked how he did it, his friend Emily responded with "All I will say is, Jeremy was nice enough not to puke in my car. Other places though..." Gross. Awesome. Well done, Jeremy.

Check out more funny stuff on my tumblr page: steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com.