2 Days Until Grandma's Marathon!

>> Thursday, June 19, 2008

I don’t have much for two. But I do have something to say to the skinny old guy at the Y who was in the locker room next to me yesterday.

Dear skinny old guy at the Y:

It’s fine if you want to sit naked on the bench in the locker room as I’m changing next to you. It’s maybe a little weird that you just sit there, stark naked, just staring into your locker, but it’s really not a big deal. But when you reach into your locker, pull out a banana, slowly peel it, and eat it right there next to me while you are still stark-ass naked, that IS a little creepy. Is that the new “foot under the bathroom stall door” signal for guys who want to get it on with other guys? I’m flattered, but I’m married. And straight. If neither of those were true, I’d probably go for someone one-quarter your age. And someone less willing to have his bare testes on a random bench for that length of time. I mean, you probably have plantars warts or athletes foot on your boy-parts now.

It’s better you hear this now than for me to drag this out for a while.


Oh, here’s a little something for two: I live with (and will be running Grandma’s with) two Linder sisters. Just so everyone knows, they’re not gassy at all and their farts don’t stink. (Score some brownie points for Steve!)

And good luck to all the racers that I know in the two big races this weekend: Grandma's Marathon on Satuday and Ironman Coeur d'Alene on Sunday. Good luck racers!! Be safe! Be strong!

29 comments:

triblog carol 7:11 AM, June 19, 2008  

These are great posts. Maybe someday you can 'd' Grandfather Mountain, down in my neck 'o the woods. And think of that old dude with the banana while you do it.

Good luck!

Ryan 7:47 AM, June 19, 2008  

Maybe that was a signal that he wanted to lick the sweat off of your nipples since your cat was not around!

Sheesh! Give the old naked dude a break, he was just trying to help.

Flatman 8:02 AM, June 19, 2008  

Wouldn't that make it "athlete's balls"???

Excuse me while I puke. :|

CoachLiz 8:06 AM, June 19, 2008  

That is creepy.

That is all I am going to say about that.

J-Wim 8:26 AM, June 19, 2008  

THat visual image is disturbing. Break out the eye bleach.

sRod 8:34 AM, June 19, 2008  

The old men at the gym have always creeped me out. Perhaps the most disturbing time was when there was a little kids day camp going on at my gym. The boys from the 7 year old group were sitting on a bench in the locker room. Then in comes this guy from the showers, about 128 years my senior, naked as the day he was born, strolling in front of the bench of little boys as if it were Sunday afternoon at Sizzler.

The boys were quickly escorted out of the locker room after that...to the nearest counseling center, I'm sure.

Marcus Grimm 8:34 AM, June 19, 2008  

Steve-

I've been loving the countdown, man. Much better than the "uhhhhh--- my taper is driving me crazy posts" most of us (me included) tend to write going into a big race.

But if you truly wear a cotton shirt for 26 miles, I will know for certain you are insane.

M

Marcy 8:54 AM, June 19, 2008  

Oh my gawd. I hope you took a pic :P Hey, had to ask . . .I would not put it past you ;-)

Golfball 9:01 AM, June 19, 2008  

I think his brother is at my gym. He prefers to stand next to you butt nekkid with one foot up on the bench resting his elbow on his knee ala "The Thinker" sort of.

One day he says to me:

"What did the psychiatrist say to the guy wearing saran wrap?"

"I can clearly see your nuts"

GAG BARF. Ahhh, awkward, inappropriate locker room moments.

nwgdc 11:06 AM, June 19, 2008  

wow. if your stomach starts to turn at all at any point during the marathon, do NOT think of him and avoid any and all bananas being offered to you.

JenC 11:47 AM, June 19, 2008  

Must be an old guy YMCA thing. My husband is astounded how they all sit around naked on the furniture. Ick!

Great posts and good luck!

Benson 12:04 PM, June 19, 2008  

eeewwww
eeewwwwwwww
EEEEEEWWWWW!
gouge my eyes out.
Stop the insanity!

GoBigGreen 12:21 PM, June 19, 2008  

So that is what i missed after i left you at the stairway and you went into the mens room, darn, I miss all the good stuff.
Good luck this weekend. Have fun. You are a trooper no matter what your time is! Remember that!
Julia

triblog carol 2:37 PM, June 19, 2008  

"My wife LOVES Nuun." I first heard of Nuun from your website (the experiment post - wish I'd thought of that). What do you do for electrolytes?

jen 2:59 PM, June 19, 2008  

Ewww. In addition to all the other stuff, I have to say eating anything in a locker room is gross.

I'm going to be out of town so I'll take this opportunity to say GOOD LUCK STEVE!! :) You're going to do great. Have fun!

KK 3:18 PM, June 19, 2008  

GUH-ross! absolutely deisgusting.

But I never thought that it could be a sign of him hitting on you...YIKES! (Time to get a new gym membership.)

Good Luck! (two words for your "two" post)

nwgdc 3:26 PM, June 19, 2008  

Steve,

While I prefer to remain an enigma wrapped in a shroud of infamy, between you and me, it's Nic. Good luck and I hope I dont' see you because you're running Sub 3!

cadesdad 4:49 PM, June 19, 2008  

see you at the starting line!

Viv 5:44 PM, June 19, 2008  

Good luck this weekend. I wanna a visual for the old man. I can't picture it. I may even have someone to hook him up with from my locker room.

P.O.M. 5:50 PM, June 19, 2008  

I understand teh quick nakedness that happens as one changes, as it happens with all of us. But there is really no reason on Earth to HANG OUT (pun intended) naked in the locker room. No reason at all.
Except, you want to get it on. Then naked is good.
So you must be right. Eating a banana is the new foot under the door.

Kathy 6:28 PM, June 19, 2008  

Your countdown has been great - somewhat grotty at times, but to laugh at life is good.

Best of luck with the marathon on the weekend!

Running To Stand Still 8:12 PM, June 19, 2008  

LMAO at Flatman.

What is it with old men hanging out in the locker room nekkid?

If I don't get back before your race, good luck out there!!!

Kellye Mills 8:48 PM, June 19, 2008  

Ok... this is hilarious!! My husband says all the naked guys in the locker room are old! Why?? Rock it this weekend! I knonw you will!!

Kevin 8:59 PM, June 19, 2008  

What. No Pictures??

That is funny bout the naked guy with the banana

Megan 11:49 PM, June 19, 2008  

That's so weird. MY boyfriend came home today was like, "Yeah, I was trying to enjoy my breakfast after my shower, and some guy was just STARING at me...I think he wanted my banana."

And then he asked me to check on his man-wart.

Hmmmm.....

Good luck this weeekend!!!

brendaj 1:45 AM, June 20, 2008  

Ew. Have a great, speedy race this weekend!!

Mon 8:39 AM, June 20, 2008  

that made me lol. what a visual of the guy in the gym! A locker room is the last place I'd ever eat. Oh yea, particularly the last place id eat naked!

Jade Lady 10:07 AM, June 23, 2008  

What's up with guys? This is the second time I heard of such a thing going on in a locker room. Thank heaven I've never seen women act like that.

But, I had to snicker at Marcy's comment - where's your camera when you need it!

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comments! Have a great day!

Twitter

Follow steveinaspeedo on Twitter

Facebook Fan Page

All content and original images copyright 2006 - 2017 by Steve Stenzel, AKA "Steve in a Speedo." All Rights Reserved.
Want to use something seen here? Just ask - I don't bite.