Friday Funny 665: Swimmers Will Understand

Thought Catalog recently posted an article called "37 Things Only Swimmers Know." Enjoy:

1. There are always at least two things hanging up to dry somewhere in your house/apartment, and they are a swimsuit and a towel.

2. People frequently ask if you are tired because it looks like you have bags under your eyes. Those are just goggle marks.

3. Literally every muscle in your body is used during your workout and it. feels. amazing.

4. When you’re underwater, the rest of the world gets blocked out. There’s only you, the movement of your body, and the freedom to let your mind wander.

5. ... Despite the feeling of Zen you get from #4, on occasion you wish there were something to occupy your brain with as you swim. (Underwater iPod, anyone?)

6. But being truly alone with your thoughts can give you the opportunity to solve all of your problems, plan our your day down to the minute, discover the cure for cancer, etc.

7. You understand that swimming a mile is very, very different from running one.

8. The scent of chlorine never completely leaves your skin.

9. You have permanent tan lines, but they’re not the cool kind that you get from going on vacation.

10. Speedo.

11. Deciding to work out when you have a cold is worth at least five minutes of serious thought.

12. Abdominal muscles/strength are a point of pride.

13. There is one brand/style of goggles that you swear were made to fit your face perfectly.

14. Trying to get into your swimsuit when it’s still damp can almost take away your desire to work out. (Almost.)

15. “Fast,” “medium,” and “slow,” can be arbitrary labels for the lanes. When the pool is crowded one should try to follow these signs, but if it’s not – why waste an empty lane?

16. You learned, the hard way, that you should never leave your swim cap somewhere that will heat up for an extended period of time.

17. ... Because you actually use a swim cap.

18. There’s a fine, fine line between leaky goggles and a massive headache.

19. Instead of 1, 2, 3, it’s 25, 50, 75...

20. Your cardio is also your strength training.

21. “Going to the pool” or “going for a swim” means something different to you than it does to most people.

22. It’s only cold when you first jump in.

23. Your hair stylist has uttered the phrase “Your hair is beautiful but it’s so damaged by all that chlorine.”

24. Working out feels better when you can’t tell that you’re sweating.

25. You have an opinion on circle swim vs. splitting the lane.

26. The line “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink” from The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner resonates with you on a spiritual level.

27. Baby powder exists so that the experience of pulling a silicone swim cap over your head doesn’t totally suck.

28. You have to bite your tongue when a non-swimmer thinks they’d be pretty fast in the pool because they work out or have a significant amount of muscle mass.

29. Sports-related injuries are an unfamiliar territory for you, because there is no stress placed on your bones or muscles during your workout.

30. You’ve planned your workout around strange and specific hours because the pool you use is only open or available at certain times.

31. And a trip to the gym isn’t so simple, because all of the equipment, dressing, and undressing that you need to effectively complete your workout.

32. Swimming in a lane with a total stranger teaches you how to share...

33. ... but you still prefer having your own lane. It is a rare and exciting luxury.

34. There’s an art and etiquette to passing your lane partner, or being passed.

35. Passing or being passed also has the potential to make or break your mood during your workout.

36. You have regular lane partners or lane neighbors, but you may not necessarily know them by name. Still, you respect them and feel a connection based on the recognition of dedication.

37. Land workouts are great, but there is nothing quite like the way your body feels after a swim.

5 thoughts:

• #14 is the WORST when you forget your damp Speedo in your 0 degree car and then have to put it on. NOT. FUN. Winter sucks.

• I've been caught on #21 before.

• Doesn't everyone feel the same way about #25? Does anyone LIKE circle swimming?!?

• Yes. #28. That's happened to me more than once.

• I call B.S. on #29 - my super fast swimming Gear West Duathlon partner from 2013 is nursing a shoulder injury right now.

Thoughts on any of these?

Lots more funny stuff on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com! Happy weekend!