Taking Down a Soccer Mom

>> Wednesday, September 01, 2010

That's right. The gloves are coming off.

Jenny Wilcox, I've had it with you. You've got to be put in your place.

Oh, oh, I can hear Jenny now: "Whatever do you mean, Steve?" Yeah. Whatever Wilcox. Whatever.

I met you at the Oakdale Duathlon (which you won) early this spring:

You were just 3 minutes slower than Matt and I who raced as a TEAM! Whatever. Show off.

The Chisago Lakes Sprint Tri was Matt's first triathlon, and guess what? You had to show up, smash Matt's face with your time, and beat the course record:

You heading into the park with your frickin' course record

Then, at the Minneapolis Duathlon this past weekend (the "largest duathlon in the world"), you came in as the top female (just out of the top 10 overall), and you broke Marlo's course record by a minute!

But here's the icing on the multisport cake:

Remember when "Midwest Events Magazine" interviewed me for a nice little article?

Yeah, special, I know. That was nice, right? Well you swooped in and appeared on the FLIPPIN' COVER of the next issue, just to 1-up me:

Jerk face.

So, Jenny, here's the deal. You're racing the Mosquito Man Duathlon this weekend. I'm racing the Mosquito Man Duathlon this weekend. It's war. You and I. No holds barred.

That's right folks - I'm gonna send this Hillary-hair-cut soccer mom and her amazing legs crying back to the suburbs. There. I said it. Me and my speedy, hairy pistons of pain (my legs) are gonna blow her up.

Wilcox, it's ON.

Note: I don't actually feel this way. And I don't believe a word of what I said above. In fact, I ASKED Jenny if I could put up a post like this, so "nice Steve" hasn't completely flipped his lid. (Although he's now referring to himself in the third person, which is weird....) And none of this is my subconscious coming out. This is all in jest.

Jenny's SUPER nice and SUPER fast. I'm 93%-95% sure that's she's going to beat me by a minute or 2 on Saturday. I THINK I MIGHT be able to keep up with her on the runs, but with my lack of hard biking lately due to my TC 10 Mile training, she'll kill me on the bike. That all adds up to me not having a chance. But a little friendly competition always makes things a little more fun, right? ;)

All I know is Saturday is going to be SUPER fun! Check back Monday (Labor Day) to see who kicked who's butt!


Mike Russell 5:56 AM, September 01, 2010  

She is more Super Mom than Soccer Mom. Sounds like Evil Steve has a little case of the "I wish I was that fast".

FLATOUT JIM 6:14 AM, September 01, 2010  

Hey, I thought it was Hillary!

You could always challenge her to a swim race, but she just might aquajog your ass off.

Maybe you should just fake an injury, sit on the sidelines, and drink beer!

gene 6:43 AM, September 01, 2010  

Jim has a good idea.
Just don't get 'stuck' in the portalet and 'miss' the start. that could set you back 2 minutes...just sayin'

ann 6:54 AM, September 01, 2010  

That is the funniest post i've read in a long time! hilarious! she looks tough.....make sure you eat your wheeties :)

Ken Clay 8:09 AM, September 01, 2010  

. . . and now you've made her mad. I think I would have tried to fly under the radar on this one!

Good luck!

Jennifer 8:20 AM, September 01, 2010  

No more Mr. Niceguy eh? Hilarious! Good luck. I can't wait to see how this ends.

Coach T,  8:23 AM, September 01, 2010  

Well all bets are on Jenny...this van driving, trader joes eating, running phenom, is not going down. She does her homework and the extra credit too. Better be getting in your ice baths, cuz you can bet Jenny will be ready to race!

Christi 8:25 AM, September 01, 2010  

Love it! Good luck to both of you!

Greenking17 "TRI-harder" 8:57 AM, September 01, 2010  

For the record...Midwest Events didn't interview you, I did....jerk face!

Megan 9:22 AM, September 01, 2010  

If that is what a soccer mom looks like, I want to be her when I grow up.

Adrienne 10:46 AM, September 01, 2010  

Good luck kicking her butt! And remember, "If at once you don't succeed, cover up and hide all evidence that you ever tried"!

Borsch 10:52 AM, September 01, 2010  

Wow Steve. I might have to come watch this. We will see what Steph has planned for the weekend.

TriEric 12:15 PM, September 01, 2010  

We all get "chicked" in race...Steve suck it up and be a man.

Of course it does sting more when she is older than you. She is older....right?

Poor little Stevie. Maybe it's time to shave those legs....less wind resistance.

Jennifer Harrison 4:32 PM, September 01, 2010  

Ha, just the fact that you called her a soccer mom should fuel her to beat you!!!!!! Your running will probably save your ass a bit...but that riding....GOOD LUCK!

amybee 5:02 PM, September 01, 2010  

go get her Steve! (You should sell Team Steve shirts. If they were loud and dri-wick, I'd totally buy one.)

SingletrackJenny (formerly known as IronJenny) 7:31 PM, September 01, 2010  

Love ya, Steve, but I am placing my bet on Jenny cuz I like her name AND she's a machine! Besides, you don't wanna win EVERYTHING, cuz, ya know, then no one will like you. ;-)

CoachLiz 8:28 PM, September 01, 2010  

Ooooo...you're gonna get chicked!!!!

Judy,  9:36 PM, September 01, 2010  

She's already won because she looks better in spandex shorts.

Julie 4:50 PM, September 03, 2010  

I am still laughing Steve! This was a great post:) Good luck to you and good luck to Jenny!

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