Friday Funny 1218: Poorly Describe Your Hobby

This is oddly similar to last week's "Opposite of your Job" Friday Funny. Here are people poorly describing their hobbies:

Rubbing the hair of a horse's tail against twisted sheep guts.

I catch wind with a giant triangle to move over the water.

I hit my feet against the ground and move my legs as fast as I can.

I like to lift things with random parts of my body. Just so i can lift heavier things in the future.

... or...

I willingly try to defy increasing gravitational pull to break bodily tissue only to later forcefully fill my intestines to assimilate dead animal parts so my body will repair the tissue which will increase the gravitational pull it can defy 2 days later.

I press buttons and scream at a rectangle.

I rapidly move my genitals up and down.

I ingest liquids and inhale combustibles that degrade my primary internal organs.

I run a chunk of a rock that stains a lot on a piece of paper for several hours.

Hitting mostly whites, sometimes blacks.

I stare at dead trees while hallucinating.

... or...

I stare at strips of pulped tree bark whilst reviving input and hallucinating vigorously.

I catch vibrations in the air with organs attached on my head.

I handle balls and put them in wide holes from time to time. [basketball]

I sit on a saddle which happens to posess two wheels and a combustion engine,and that is propelled forward thanks to the rotationnal forces induced by thermal reactions within the explosion chamber, transmitted to the ground through said back wheel, archieving incredible thrust because of supercar-like power to weight ratio.

Lots more funny stuff on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com. HAPPY WEEKEND!