>> Monday, July 07, 2008

I just stopped by to inquire.
The "service" I desired wasn't on their price list.
I asked "How much?"
The price was fair.
She told me Ann Marie was one of the best in the Cities.
Ann Marie had an opening at 3 on Thursday.
She said Ann Marie wouldn't mind if I brought a camera to take photos.
I deliberated.
I finally gave in.

I'm getting my chest waxed on Thursday in preparation for the Lifetime Fitness Triathlon (which is 2 days later).

Lord help me.

This is how my chest looks as of 9:20 am today:

It will look different in a few days. You'll want to check back. I'll have photos. And hopefully, I'll still have 2 nipples too - I hear those things can just get ripped right out while being waxed.

I'm so freakin' scared.


Molly 9:40 AM, July 07, 2008  

be afraid...be very afraid...2 advil before hand might help a little...bless your heart (there is still time to back out!)
take care

:) 10:00 AM, July 07, 2008  


SWTrigal 10:01 AM, July 07, 2008  

LOL!! Hey once you wax, you will never go back!

Viv 10:13 AM, July 07, 2008  

I am trying to convince the hubby to let me wax him, no tri in the future just for the sexiness factor. LOL! Good luck ...

Kevin 10:15 AM, July 07, 2008  

Ouch. My chest hurts just thinking about that. My wife keeps telling me I should have my back waxed. NO THANK YOU

Ian Simon 10:18 AM, July 07, 2008  

Mmm, sure there's something that's commonly said about never trying new just before a race ...

I'm sure it'll be fine :-)

Anonymous,  10:22 AM, July 07, 2008  

Oh god...I hope you have video.

ShirleyPerly 10:23 AM, July 07, 2008  

Hey, I don't think it can possibly hurt as much as a full Brazilian, not that I would know ...

Kelly 11:08 AM, July 07, 2008  

oh. dear. god.

is she at least going to wax into a fun shape first?

Marcy 11:25 AM, July 07, 2008  

Dude, I can only imagine what she thought when you asked if would be ok to take pics. LMAO! You will love it! :P

Trisaratops 11:32 AM, July 07, 2008  

Flatman beat me to it! So I'll give you another one:


bigmike600 11:57 AM, July 07, 2008  


You should not only be afraid but you should cancel.

Amytrigirl (aka Amybee) 12:00 PM, July 07, 2008  

Okay, so now I know you are a little crazy...

I'll be looking for the really red, really raw chest that sits above a bowl of sunshine in the transition area of LifeTime this weekend.

Good luck and may Valium be your new, close personal friend...

Brian 12:01 PM, July 07, 2008  

Def. video. It gives me the heebee jeebees just thinking about it.

If you haven´t seen 40 year old virgin, see it. You´ĺl know which part when you see it.

Wes 12:20 PM, July 07, 2008  

Dude, your nuts...

Jamie 12:44 PM, July 07, 2008  

Please tell me you are going to ask them to wax some sort of design/smiley face into your chest...

Unknown 12:45 PM, July 07, 2008  

Wow... have fun with that! A video would be nice! All I can think of is 40 year old virgin and I'd love to see what spills out of your mouth when she's ripping the waxy hair off. OMG I can't imagine the pain!

Tracy 1:40 PM, July 07, 2008  

OH lots of cussing Colleen, I was so going to say that! :) Too funny, it will for sure be the end of an era, but hey you'll be shiny!

Borsch 1:51 PM, July 07, 2008  

A) I kinda wanna watch!

B) I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?
C) Oh, that feels warm.
D) If she starts doin' his pubes, I'm outta here. :-)

KK 2:41 PM, July 07, 2008  

I just tagged you. In addition to the ongoing hair saga, I am dying to know six more random things about you!

(Kelly Clarkson, hilarious!)


akshaye 2:42 PM, July 07, 2008  

hAHA! Reminds of the scene in the 40 year old virgin!

Michelle 2:58 PM, July 07, 2008  

whoa, that is hard core! have you ever had anything waxed in your life? i'd be sceered too! can't wait to see pictures!!

Patricio 3:07 PM, July 07, 2008  

OMG... that's crazy, you're a brave man! Since you doing the chest, might as well do the whole body.... you know.. go with the 'naturale' look... (?) ALL THE WAY, ALL THE WAY!!! :)
Good luck and can't wait to hear all about it.

ShesAlwaysWrite 3:16 PM, July 07, 2008  

Too funny!
Here's hoping your girl is as good as mine. If she's good at her job, it won't hurt quite as much as people are saying it will. My waxer is so good my bikini waxes barely hurt at all.

Also, to avoid a rash, don't plan to go for a swim for at least 24 hours post-wax. Also important to know: if you have really delicate skin you can get a rash from waxing regardless. You're probably fine though, since you can handle Nair.

sRod 4:59 PM, July 07, 2008  

Sweet Jesus on the cross!

I hear that it would be wise to shave beforehand. Just because someone is good doesn't mean they're pain free.

Jim Smith II 5:22 PM, July 07, 2008  

OWWWWW... I have my first swimming lesson on Thursday which I’m very concerned about, but I’d rather do that than what you’re doing…

Good luck... Owie....

Jim Smith II 5:25 PM, July 07, 2008  

BTW - You gotta take video of the first couple of pulls... Steve Carell's got nothing on you...

CoachLiz 5:59 PM, July 07, 2008  

Go to a Whole Foods or a health food store and buy you a tube of Arnica Gel or Traumeel. It will help reduce the redness and swelling.

OMG you are brave. I went to have my legs waxed one time and I had to have the gal stop half way through. She said she was not done yet, but i told her that in fact she was done. She had the wax too hot and my skin got burned around the ankles.

I will keep you in my prayers...

21stCenturyMom 6:02 PM, July 07, 2008  

It's alreayd been said but really - there's only one thing that is appropriate


Good luck!

Herself, the GeekGirl 6:02 PM, July 07, 2008  

We, your readers, demand a YouTube video. Put Pharmie in charge. We who have had parts of us waxed, LOVE to see men undergo this. Maybe they'll appreciate us more, we think.

Wedgie 6:16 PM, July 07, 2008  

I'm sorry, I've been silent long enough. By now we've all seen far more of Steve's body than we probably ever wanted. (Pharmie excluded, of course.) But you seem to ignore a basic law of photography: Objects closer to the lens appear bigger. In every shot, you have a big gut and small chest, and we KNOW that isn't the reality. Let perspective be your friend! Show off those (insert Ren voice) "huge pectoral muscles".

And Godspeed on the waxing.

teacherwoman 7:24 PM, July 07, 2008  

OMG... I can't believe it. Sure you don't want to video it instead?!?!? That would be more fun!

Collin Kromke 7:58 PM, July 07, 2008  

I'm so glad you do this crap so I don't have to.

Kelly 9:05 PM, July 07, 2008  

hehe. Good luck. Waxing is no fun. I think I've heard that taking a tums about 1/2hr before hand can help. And no alcohol cause that makes you bleed and prone to bruising.

Stef0115 9:47 PM, July 07, 2008  

"I'm so freakin' scared."

Dude. I'm so freakin' scared FOR YOU. I mean, are you SURE?????

jen 11:21 PM, July 07, 2008  

Wow. Good luck with that...

Congrats on the 5k! :)

Nitmos 7:50 AM, July 08, 2008  

Good luck reverting to a prepubescent teen. We are all rooting for you.

Smithers 9:24 AM, July 08, 2008  

In "40 Year Old Virgin," Steve Carrell ACTUALLY got it done so that his reaction would be realistic. Soooooo, go watch that movie and realize that he really reacted that way. haha. Good Luck.

Cy 9:25 AM, July 08, 2008  

OMG you are brave. Good luck! We'll see you on Saturday.

Sarah 11:07 AM, July 08, 2008  

Thanks for visiting my blog =). I really love reading your blog. I laugh out loud and excitedly await each new post!

Ryan 11:29 AM, July 08, 2008  

Don't stop at the chest!

Go ALL the way!

Be my Hero!

Start the Trend and I will follow!

Just think how much better "bowl full of sunshine" will be after a good waxing!

Arrrghhhhh!!!! Kelly Clarkson!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous,  11:46 AM, July 08, 2008  

Get the Man-O-Lantern ala Steve Carrell in the 40 year old virgin!

Fizzgig 12:24 PM, July 08, 2008  

Boys..... If it were up to you guys to have kids we'd all be extinct! Ive never had my chest waxed, but I've had far worse places done, and it hurts but only for a second.....Still, itll make for good blogging!!

May the force be with you!

Gotta Run..... 12:32 PM, July 08, 2008  

And I thought shaving my legs was bad. makes me think of the 40 years old virgin. Just don't get the "manolantern" or i will freaking fall in the floor.

Anonymous,  12:45 PM, July 08, 2008  

this totally brings back memories of ME waxing my hubby (bad call) before a bodybuilding show.


bad times.

should fo' shizzle be left to the professionals.


triguyjt 1:49 PM, July 08, 2008  

you gotta take video...not pics...
i wanna hear you scream "pharmie, pharmie, pharmie!!!

or another word that begins with that sound....

TRI TO BE FUNNY 2:01 PM, July 08, 2008  

FYI--you have the most amazing and patient wife!!!!!!! I can't believe those damn shorts have survived another race and washing!!!

Kim 2:32 PM, July 08, 2008  

i hope your nipples dont bleed!

J~Mom 5:18 PM, July 08, 2008  

:>0 I can't wait for this report!

jahowie 2:24 PM, July 09, 2008  

So the waxing makes you faster then huh? Hmmmmmm.....I'll have to think about that one.

IronTriTim 10:32 PM, July 09, 2008  

I can just see the look on her face when you asked if you could bring a camera!!!
Er sorry sir this is not that kind of establishment!

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