Friday Funny 830: How NOT to Cheer at a Marathon

>> Friday, November 21, 2014

Last month was the Baltimore Marathon. Their website urged spectators to be careful using cheers relating to how much distance is left in the race. Their website states:

Unless you are at the Stadium near the finish line, please DO NOT cheer ‘Almost there,’ ‘Not far to go,’ etc. After running 26 miles, ‘almost there’ is a few hundred feet from the finish line.

Thank GOD someone said that!

This inspired Mark Remy from Runner's World to share some GOOD and BAD CHEERS. He caught some flack for this, but you know this is the kind of thing I like:

The Remy's World Guide to Marathon Cheers: the Good and the Bad

Good: "If a Marathon Were Easy, It'd Be Called Your Mom"
Bad: "Your Mother Is Sexually Indiscriminate"

Good: "I'm an Athletic Supporter"
Bad: "Your Mom Is an Athletic Supporter"

Good: "In Our Minds, You're All Kenyans"
Bad: "In My Mind, Your Mom and I Are Doing Unspeakable Things. In Your Old Bedroom."

Good: "Your Feet Are Hurting Because You're Kicking So Much Butt!"
Bad: "Seriously. Your Mom Is a Dirty, Dirty Bird"

Good: "Pain Is Temporary. Pride Is Forever"
Bad: "Pain Is Temporary. Pride Is Forever. Which, Coincidentally, Is How Long I Can Last With Your Mom."

Good: "Keep Going! Keep Going! (That's What She Said!)"
Bad: (I couldn't think of a bad version of this one. -Ed)

Good: "Touch Here for Power" (Text pointing to bullseye, starburst, circle, etc. on sign.)
Bad: "Yeah. You Know Who Else Likes to Touch Here for Power?"

These are the kinds of "your mom" jokes I would have loved to have used on BFFN (best friend for now) Devon Palmer when we were at odds last year. But now we're on good terms. For now. Here's a twitter conversation we had last night:

Stop by for funnies all week long! Have a great weakend!


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