Help Me Name My Bike!!

>> Thursday, March 29, 2007

So I was talking to Pharmie a few weeks ago, and we were discussing my nameless tri bike. We were trying to figure out an appropriate name (it’s been all the rage in the blog world lately). She asked me what sex it was. I told her that my bike seems to be female - I’ve always thought her to be a woman. Then she asked what feminine or masculine characteristics it has. Here’s where the debate got interesting.

I’ve never had any problems with my bike. She shifts well, she breaks well, and she hasn’t even had a SINGLE flat! I put over 1,200 miles on her last year (including 4 events) without one issue. She’s solid. She’s not moody. She’s strong and a little on the heavy side. She doesn’t put up with crap or beat around the bush. She doesn’t have expensive taste (I mean, just look at those cheap-ass areo-bars and factory wheels). She’s no typical woman. She has many masculine characteristics. So talking with Pharmie, I had this realization:

“Ya know, I think my bike is a lesbian.”

There, I’ve said it. My bike has an alternative lifestyle. I think her parents put too much pressure on her as a little tricycle, and when she grew up and went off to college, she discovered herself. It was a glorious day!! My bike was no longer living a lie!!

(I’m not trying to be insensitive to the homosexual community. I live and work in the Arts, and I have gay and lesbian friends. As usual, this is all in good fun. No harm intended.)

To make a long story short: My bike has the soul of a 40-something, 220-pound, hairy, plaid-wearing lesbian lumberjack (most likely with a mullet). Can you offer any name suggestions to go along with that description?? The person who comes up with the final name that I choose gets a prize*. Seriously. Please help!

* Prize TBA. It may or may not suck. No promises.


RobbyB 9:41 PM, March 29, 2007  

I'd go with Gina (w/a long I - like in the 40 year-old Virgin).

What do I win?

Triteacher 10:03 PM, March 29, 2007  

Penis Pincher. (PeePee for short when in polite company.)

RunBubbaRun 11:19 PM, March 29, 2007  

How about "Butchy", "crying game",

"Terd burgler", sorry that is a guy thing..

I really could go on...

John 2:49 AM, March 30, 2007  

How about "Paula Bunyan" or "Babe" (the OX)

Chris 7:37 AM, March 30, 2007  

No suggestions here, but before you announced her "coming out" I was wondering if she wasn't that way from the description. :)

Unknown 11:48 AM, March 30, 2007  

When I was still playing indoor soccer, there was an all lesbian team...the leader of the pack was named Rhonda. So your bike should be Rhonda The Road Warrior.

Joy | Love | Chaos 2:50 PM, March 30, 2007  

I don't know about the lumberjack hairy description...I'm thinkin a little sleeker, slightly more sophisticated, and somewhat Showtime-styled...

"The L-Word"

Wedgie 3:01 PM, March 30, 2007  

She's strong, a bit heavy, doesn't put up with crap: Oprah.

(I'm sure Ms. Winfrey is at least a little bi-curious, no?)

TriShannon 10:46 AM, March 31, 2007  

Thinking and laughing and thinking and laughing... "Rosie"

Caroline Houdek 1:35 AM, April 01, 2007  

How about Sandy, meaning defender of men, or in this case defender of Steve and his knees! Or perhaps Sally... that's a good one too!

And remember, all my cameras have names... well at least the important ones, so names with inanimate things are my specialty!

Tri-Dummy 9:57 PM, April 03, 2007  

So many lezbeeon names to choose from...I'll give you a couple.

Xena (warrior princess...the show...the lesbians loved her)

Billie (Jean

Martina (

and my fav....drum roll please....

DYKE. (this is my bike, Dyke.) nuff said.

marz_racer 9:27 AM, April 04, 2007  

Lot's of things come to mind. However, I like the "Road Mullet". And I also like Tri-Dummy's idea, just call it your "Dyke Byke".

Gordon 3:55 PM, April 05, 2007  

definitely a rhonda from your description, but i would have thought something more feminine from the picture.

and what tires are you using?!? i get a flat about once a month on mine :\

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