Do You Know Green Speedo Guy?
>> Thursday, January 18, 2007
Have you met Green Speedo Guy? I bet you’ve met Green Speedo Guy. There’s one in every pool. I had the opportunity to meet him last night. My Green Speedo Guy looked like this:
OK, so his hands aren’t THAT screwed up.
Green Speedo Guy first hopped into my lane without asking. He was just suddenly there. It’s just common courtesy to ask if you can share your lane. “Not a big deal,” I thought. Some people just don’t know the routine of the regulars (oh God...I’ve already become a jaded “regular”...).
Green Speedo Guy was an older gent, and he had a bit of a beer belly. But that didn’t stop him from having that “I own this place” strut. He was a fast swimmer, but only swam 2 or 3 laps at break-neck speed before stopping to catch his breath for a minute or two. He wouldn’t stay on his side of the lane - I was kicked in the forearm a number of times. Green Speedo Guy seemed to time the start of his lap by waiting for me to get part way down the pool, and then trying to catch me to show that he “still got it” (whatever "it" is that he "got"). He made wild, splashy, over-the-top flip turns at either end. Everything Green Speedo Guy did was for show.
Everything.
Green Speedo Guy completed 3 or 4 sets of 2 or 3 laps, and finally, I had my lane to myself. I was keeping track of his laps more than I was my own laps. It was great to have the lane to myself again, but it was simply much better that Green Speedo Guy was gone; I would have gladly shared with anyone else in the pool.
I kept swimming. I completed maybe 10 more laps, and guess who was back?! Green fricken’ Speedo Guy. He blasted out 2 more laps, and was gone, like a fart on a windy day.
Do you know Green Speedo Guy? I bet you do. What does your Green Speedo Guy look like? What does he (or she) do to annoy you. You’ve all met mine. I would love to meet yours.
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12 comments:
Yep, I know him well, except my guy wears an old red speedo that is semi-transparent!!! EEK!
I don't have green speedo guy..in fact..I have no one. When I swim at 5 a.m., there's only me in the pool..usually..then it starts to get busier around 6 when i'm leaving anyways...sometimes I wish I had someone else there..oh well!! p.s. Did you draw him yourself?? :-))
at my pool it is impossible to ask if you can share a lane. No one ever seems to stop when you want to get in. I am especially guilty of this. If I am doing sets I will talk to no one. But I have been lucky so far as most times I just share with older swimmers. This morning my lane partner, probably in his late 60s, started doing handstands and walking on the bottom of the pool. That was awesome!
I haven't met Greed Speedo Guy, mostly due to lack of swimming I have done in the past 5 months. But, I have met the Annoying Pre-Adolescent Swimmer when open swimming has been at the same time as when I swim my laps. How fun is that. They don't understand that they need to stay out of my lanes or else!
There is one "green speedo guy" at my pool who just starts diving every time, gets out and does it again. Why would you practice diving into a pool that is 4 meters deep. I guess there is one in every pool.
See-Through Speedo Guy doesn't sound like any fun, neither does Annoying Pre-Adolescent Swimmer, or Strange Diving Man.
And yes, I drew him myself (in like 8 seconds - it shows...)
Mine is White Speedo Man. Lets just say that NO ONE should wear a white swimsuit!!
My guy wears a black speedo with yes, a gut hanging over it. And I have to admit to being utterly fascinated at the ripple effect of said gut as he powers through the water. I'm geeking & gawking so hard that I'm the one not swimming in a straight line.
Then there's the delicious guy with the concave, 6-pack gut...
Aren't you glad you asked?
I had one on Friday! He would pass me in the lane but then he stopped for a rest at every lap. SO annoying.
Oh hell yes. Mine looks like Luigi from the Mario video games, and he doesn't wear a speedo, but circa 1979 white cotton athletic shorts, emphasis on shorts, sans anything underneath. He makes this fantastic leaps and shouting splashes all through the water, and thinks goggles are for dandies. It's when he gets out of the water, though, in his tighty-whitey shorty shorts, that the real show starts. He should charge admission, and I should charge him for the therapy I've since undergone.
So, while I was doing laps in the first lane last week this older guy steps in, plops himself in the corner and starts to do exercises. After a few laps I stopped and he tried to strike up a conversation with me. "I wish I was your age again, I could swim just as many laps if not more!" I'm 46, he didn't look old. I asked him how many laps he used to do. It was something normal...like a total of 1500mts, now that he's "old" he can only pump out 1000mts. But he went into this big speech about "a man his age"...zzzz...I asked him how old he was. He said 60. I told him if I found him at the pool twenty years from now I'd be really impressed, but at 60, quite frankly, you can still be in great shape. He got out of the pool. Great body. No fat, nice abs. I think he was just fishing for compliments from a young gal ;-)
BTW- in my neck of the woods nobody asks permission to get in a lane. You just get in and start swimming. Public pools...
Well, I used to be 185 and solid muscle. Now I'm 240 and fluffy. I've been back at the pool now for about a month and a half. Swimming in board shorts. It's like swimming with a parachute on. So, I'm thinking of becomming green speedo guy just so I am able swim 1700 without feeling like I'm towing a diving brick behind me. What do you think?
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