Lots of Nipples and Hair - For Bubba

>> Wednesday, August 15, 2007

It all started when the cats were about a year old. Kermit and Ella started licking the sweat off of me after hard workouts. I’m just a giant, hairy saltlick to them. Their tongues are rough, so my chest always turns red. Pharmie calls them hickeys. They’re TOTALLY NOT hickeys. When they lick me, my chest hair becomes “styled” by their tongues - they’re like mini-combs. I posted a photo of this about a year ago, and Bubba was just amazed (disgusted) by 2 things:

1. How hairy I was (for a triathlete).
2. That I let my cats do this to me.

When Bubba and I met face-to-face during WIBA, he confirmed that I was as hairy as he thought. I PROMISED (threatened) him that I would collect many more photos of this phenomenon. So, I proudly present the following photos for your review:

















Once I became hairfree, the cats disowned me. I was no longer “one of them,” and they stopped licking me. Recently, they’ve come around. This photo is from 2 days ago:



Bubba, you can now go wash out your eyes. Thank you.

34 comments:

RunBubbaRun 12:16 AM, August 16, 2007  

Okay, I was just going to sleep and have a nice dream, now I will be haunted for the rest of the night.. Even I think during IMoo now,

Hmm, You chest now does look like a new born baby calf now..

"GOT Milk" :)

Maybe the kitty cats will be come back..

IM Able 6:55 AM, August 16, 2007  

Yeah...um...

...that's a whole lotta Steve before my coffee...

IronJenny 6:59 AM, August 16, 2007  

OMIGOSH!!! I am dying over here!!
I can't decide which is funnier:

- the pics
- the thought of you lying there while your cats do this,
- or the fact that there actually is a series of these pics!!!

Spandex King 7:33 AM, August 16, 2007  

Some things just should be kept a secret. Ummmm, this is probably one of them. Euuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

Pharmie 8:07 AM, August 16, 2007  

Ella has on more than one occasion left a purplish bruise that lasted for DAYS. That, my dear, is a hickey :)

Flatman 9:15 AM, August 16, 2007  

This is just wrong on ALL levels.

I just gouged out my eyes with a plastic spork!!!!!


ACK!

Siren 9:29 AM, August 16, 2007  

Am I the only one going "yeah, my cat used to give me hickeys..."?!

(ACTUAL hickeys too, not just lick marks. On my ear. He was a tiny little kitten and used to try to nurse on my ear. It was perpetually purple for months.)

My dogs love licking the salt off my legs when I get back from a workout. When I try to get into the shower before they can get to me, Kona will follow me in.

Marcy 10:37 AM, August 16, 2007  

Those are some pretty big hickeys. I'd hate to know what they'd do to you if you were a woman who was lactating :P

Mister P. 2:10 PM, August 16, 2007  

Next time (yes, we all know this will not be the last of the cat-fetish pics) have pharmie take the photos for you to get a better angle. Holding the camera yourself exaggerates the belly and not your massive man pecs.

Let the nightmares begin...

Kim 2:33 PM, August 16, 2007  

every time i feel hungry and want to eat, i'm just gonna log onto your blog. that should stop the cravings. mmmkay?

21stCenturyMom 3:42 PM, August 16, 2007  

Mind Boggling - truly, truly mind boggling.

Lance Notstrong 4:03 PM, August 16, 2007  

Dude, put down the cats and just walk away!!!

teacherwoman 4:23 PM, August 16, 2007  

i am afraid i will lose my lunch.

Allez 4:53 PM, August 16, 2007  

those ARE hickies! How about you get the cats a salt lick instead :-)

Tri-Dummy 9:48 PM, August 16, 2007  

Dang Steve. You got big nipples, bro. They're like teacup saucers.

Huge. Big. Are you pregnant? If so, you should NOT be doing IM next month.

Really, bro. Don't do it. Think of the baby. Seriously.

Wylee 7:04 AM, August 17, 2007  

You know I started to open this post (was directed by flatman) last night but as soon as I saw the shoulders on the first pic I was like "un uh, no way, I've got to get some sleep tonight and I'd like to not have nightmares, thank you very much." SO what do I do? I torture myself in the morning instead. I do have to say though... no photos of the cats? What have you done to them? Did you shave them too?

Crackhead 9:58 AM, August 17, 2007  

You better watch out cuz I'll be spectating at IMWI. Nearly hairless, of course.

Triteacher 1:25 PM, August 17, 2007  

It's like a car crash. One of those things where you know you should look away - oh, please look away!! - but... I looked. OK, I admit it: I not only looked, I gawked. Thanks, Steve. You've lowered my standards of dignity yet again.

the Dread Pirate Rackham 12:01 AM, August 18, 2007  

Cat spit. That's all I can think of. Cat spit.

We still have no proof by the way - there is redness and fur gone funny, but no actual images of cats nursing on your...No, I will not go there.

Oh, and where did I leave my shrimp fork? I have to go poke my eyes out.

blink140pnt6 12:58 AM, August 19, 2007  

could you please use redeye on your nipples next time?

Thanxs!

GeekGirl 4:31 PM, August 19, 2007  

Um.
Um.

I came over here from a link from another blog, but I can't remember which one.

I think I'm blind now.

Thanks for that.

jkrunning 5:52 PM, August 19, 2007  

Wow. That's a lot of info for a first time reader.
I have dogs so I can't really relate, but if it works for you than who am I to judge?

Mommymeepa 1:28 AM, August 22, 2007  

I followed a link to your blog from SIREN's blog. I'm am entirely grossed out now. Thanks. I think you need help or maybe your cats do. I guess you can find just about anything in blogland. Night!!

Dying Water Buffalo 3:23 PM, September 18, 2007  

please leave the cat nipple fetish in the dark.

Coach Tammy 2:18 PM, November 15, 2007  

Help me! I've gone blind!!!!! NOooooo!

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