My Hot Wife and Female Pole Vaulters

>> Saturday, February 03, 2007

Early this morning, Sarah (Pharmie) and I went for a swim. After 28 laps, the pool emptied out a bit, and we were able to move over a few lanes. That proved smart because it wasn’t too long after that when it began. You know...IT.

I first caught a wiff of Elizabeth Taylor’s “White Diamonds” perfume. Then I saw someone wearing sneakers in the pool. It was older folks getting ready for water aerobics.

Oh God...

...the HORROR!

They are all unshowered, full of perfume and hair spray, and they have...no...say it isn’t so...PICTURES OF THEIR GRANDKIDS!!

OH THE HUMANITY!! THE JIGGLING ARMS AND RIPPLING THIGHS!!

AND THOSE NOODLES THEY’RE STRADDLING WILL NEVER BE THE SAME ONCE THEY’RE DONE WITH THEM!!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! THINK OF THE NOODLES!!

NNOOOOO!!!!!

DO SOMETHING JESUS!!


OK, I’m better now. When we paused a little after 28 laps, Sarah asked if I could check her form. Let’s see... I’m being forced to watch my wife as she’s wearing just a sporty swimsuit and some sweet goggles? She’s actually ASKING me to stare?!? Not a problem. Come on guys - am I right or am I right? Female triathletes have super bodies! Someone back me up on this.

Then it was back to swimming, and I finished another 32 laps, for a total of 60 laps in 1 hour and 10 minutes. That was 1 and 2/3s miles - my longest swim ever!

Oh, speaking of super bodies, there was an indoor track and field event on TV this afternoon, and I realized something: Female pole vaulters are HOT! Holy lord! They are super toned and (at least from what I was seeing) they were all cute too! If any guys reading this are single, I suggest tapping into that market.







In conclusion, I don’t like old people ruining the air quality and water quality at the pool, but I have nothing against the elderly. My wife looks good in a swimming suit and female pole-vaulters in their mid 20s make me hot, but I am not sexist. Don’t write me a nasty letter.

Good day.

6 comments:

teacherwoman 7:56 PM, February 03, 2007  

Great post! I love to hear a guy comment how attractive his wife is! That's sweet! Nice job on the swim! Too bad the old women stunk it up a bit!

RunBubbaRun 5:44 AM, February 04, 2007  

Yeah those track stars are pretty hot, some of these TRiathletes are not bad either. Yeah, I to dread the invasion of the water aerobics crew also. Great job on the swim.

Triteacher 11:38 AM, February 04, 2007  

Wow! I have never seen striated abs like "Suhr" has. Holy moly. At least this female triathlete has a ways to go.

And hey - get a room! :)

Lance Notstrong 9:46 AM, February 05, 2007  

Female athletes in general are hot!!! I would take the "female athlete look" over a Pamela Anderson type ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!!!

qcmier 4:02 PM, February 07, 2007  

I guess this is almost a not safe for work post. But yeah I'll back you up - female triathletes have super bodies.

Anonymous,  10:43 AM, April 02, 2009  

Oh yeah: Any track & field fan knows the best girl-watching is at the pole vault and high jump pits. And my lady friends tell me the vault pit is great for guy-watching too.

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