What My Wife REALLY Wanted For Christmas

>> Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My lovely wife, Phamie, didn’t want anything for Christmas. So we decided not to get each other any gifts. We recently bought a used car and a new TV, so we figured those were our gifts.

But there was one thing that she really, really wanted. She dropped subtle and not-so-subtle hints all fall about it. It was time for me to suck it up and make it happen.

My first stop was to pick up 3 necessities at Target: eggs, milk, and Nair for Men:

Yep, you know where this is going. Mid-summer, I had a smooth chest for a few weeks leading up to Ironman, and Pharmie loved it. It wasn’t an overly sexual thing, she just really liked the look and feel of it. Then and there, she started hinting about a possible Christmas present idea. So I got started in the sweetest way possible:

Showin’ my love for Pharmie.
(Is this weird?)

A few minutes later, I looked like this:

Steph, Pharmies sister, saw me once the heart was removed, and she said, “...Oh...that looks swell...” while she was stifling a laugh. Then I took care of the rest:

I even took care of those 2 little hairy patches on my shoulders that Pharmie HATES, so that’s how she’ll know that I love her! I had a crapload of paper towels full of chest hair all over the bathroom when I was finished:

This is a complete surprise for Pharmie! She’s at work right now and has no idea that she’ll be coming home to this hairless wonder. I told her not to check my blog before coming home, and I know that she won't check it because she loves a surprise. Check back in a few days, and I’ll let you know how it went over.



Marcy 1:03 PM, December 26, 2007  

For $6 that's one hell of a Christmas present ;-) Now you just have to do the man region :P

21stCenturyMom 1:16 PM, December 26, 2007  

Totally Hairless Steve Rides Again! Woot!

Merry Christmas.

Unknown 1:37 PM, December 26, 2007  

The return of Hairless Steve...I'm sure Pharmie will be pleased.

Bigun 2:22 PM, December 26, 2007  

Next you'll have to hit those Sasquach arms, then the, well, soon we'll equate Steve with Brazil.

Formulaic 5:41 PM, December 26, 2007  

Don't let Pharmie see the comments! She'll get ideas about the nether regions!

I hear women love a shaved scrotum!

[Please no pics! ;-) ]

J~Mom 6:00 PM, December 26, 2007  

Pharmie is one lucky girl!

Mnowac 6:11 PM, December 26, 2007  

That guy said shaved scrotum!

Nice - you should have kept the heart! That's a good look.

Rainmaker 7:13 PM, December 26, 2007  

I think each post should have some sort of 'disturbance meter'. Perhaps a different one for guys and gals.

I'm not going to speculate on whether or not Pharmie will be pleased...as that seems more likely to be a function of whether or not Steve can perform. ;) Which is something I have no such knowledge of (nor do I want any).

Bruno 7:52 PM, December 26, 2007  

Steve, I agree with everybody else - pls don't share pictures of your hairless adventures further south of your current body regions. Man, you are a character... I'll make sure to get in touch with you in my next trip to MN (not because of your hairless chest!).

Laurie 8:49 PM, December 26, 2007  

You guys are too cute.

triguyjt 9:39 PM, December 26, 2007  

steve..on the subject of shaved "you know what"....my wife got me a ball for christmas.
a nike medicine ball...no less.
hairless too???. I admire your love "at all costs" philosophy??

RunBubbaRun 6:32 AM, December 27, 2007  

I knew "Rudolph" wanted his fur back..

You should have shaved out an IM logo on there.. Nice jesture thou.

Happy holidays.

IronTriTim 8:16 AM, December 27, 2007  

Oww... its crossed my mind to do the same, and I love my wife, but maybe not that much!

Dana 8:19 AM, December 27, 2007  

The things we do for love. Pharmie is one lucky woman!

Anonymous,  10:01 AM, December 27, 2007  

Now that's true love!

Kim 11:14 AM, December 27, 2007  

steve, you are so thoughtful it's amazing. does that shit stink?

CoachLiz 3:52 PM, December 27, 2007  


That ranks right up there with my hubby letting me have his first-class upgrade on the flight out to Seattle for the holidays.

teacherwoman 5:24 PM, December 27, 2007  

What a great Christmas gift... she will feel loved! :)

Jamie 5:43 PM, December 27, 2007  

How Romantic.

Just don't put nair on the "coin purse"!

IronMin 9:33 PM, December 27, 2007  

You never cease to amaze me, or make me laugh...

monica 12:56 AM, December 28, 2007  

wow, hair removal as a gift. we've really evolved as a civilization!!

now that's love....

MissAllycat 12:59 AM, December 28, 2007  

I'm just glad you didn't let the cat lick the Nair off. :)

Iron Girl Nyhus 9:31 AM, December 28, 2007  

You should have left the heart. Maybe for Valentine's day you can do the heart with an arrow through it and be your own little Cupid :)


Sixteen Chickens 4:24 AM, December 29, 2007  

That was a visual assault at 4:22am. Note to self: do not check Steve's blog before (or after) breakfast.

Anonymous,  2:13 PM, December 29, 2007  

Ugh, dude - just *stop* with the pictures! ;-)

Julia 4:56 PM, December 29, 2007  

You have to suck it up, get serious and start waxing. THEN you'll be a real Ironman.

ShesAlwaysWrite 11:36 AM, January 14, 2008  

LOL! (re: previous post's comment) Apparently not! : D

Anonymous,  8:47 PM, January 04, 2010  

How do you think credit crunch affected porn?

Anonymous,  2:37 AM, January 08, 2010  

is porn the only winner during credit crunch?

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