5 Legitimate Reasons For You To Hate Me

>> Wednesday, November 07, 2007

There are countless illegitimate reasons for you to hate me (you don’t like my natural musk, you think the idea of “lucky” running apparel is stupid, your significant other has an unhealthy obsession with my blog, etc), but I see a few stone-cold, admissible, and completely legitimate reasons for you to dislike me:

1. I have a super hot wife.
Pharmie’s just the best. She’s kind, funny, sweet, soft in all the right places, and just an outstanding person to share my life with. She texted me last night during my night class to let me know that she had made homemade guacamole and that it would be waiting in the fridge when I got home. What a sweetie! AND, she’s into multi-sport events to boot! Perfection!!

2. I trained all year for an Ironman, and wound up winning a short little 5K last weekend.
I don’t know how this happened. My body is trained to go slow for a long time. *wink* *wink* So busting out a winning 5K time of 19:11 shocked me. But I only won because there were only about 50 people there. Still, I shouldn’t be this fast right now.

3. I’m a hairy, hairy beast.
Oh wait, that’s a reason that I hate myself. Nevermind. Great, now I’m depressed. Moving on...

4. I’m signed up for the Lifetime Fitness Triathlon and you’re not.
It’s a great event held at Lake Nokomis in Minneapolis. Pharmie and I are signed up for the oly next year (there’s also a sprint). It’s televised nationwide on NBC later that day (or the next weekend – I forget). Sign up! We’ll see you there! And we have a guest bedroom if you’d like to come into town for it and need a place to stay!

5. I’m still not gaining much weight.
This one’s a special reason for the ladies to hate me (not that guys won’t hate me for this one too). After Ironman, my workouts have been DRASTICALLY reduced. But my food intake really hasn’t changed. I still eat like a hog, and I’m not eating good food (for example: last night, during my rush off to teach my evening class, my supper consisted of a few handfuls of candy corn thrown in my jacket pocket and a package of turkey jerky – lemme tell ya, that’s NOT a pleasant funk). Two days after Ironman, I weighed 151.0 pounds. This morning, 2 months after Ironman, I weighted 152.4 pounds. 1.4 pounds. And most of that is body hair. Seriously. Huh...if my scale were more precise, I may have found out that I’ve gained 1.406 pounds. Interesting...


Iron Girl Nyhus 4:51 PM, November 07, 2007  

I still don't hate you :)


p.s. awesome that you give your wife such great props!

Erin 5:22 PM, November 07, 2007  

Hard to hate you when you write things like #1...but you made it a little easier with #5. Seriously?!?

Marcy 7:05 PM, November 07, 2007  

Yup #5 totally does it for me. I'm banning your blog ;-)

Wedgie 12:59 AM, November 08, 2007  

You sell yourself short; there are plenty more reasons to hate you. I hate you because your blog is funnier than mine. I guess I have to start posting more pics of my underwear to catch up.

brendaj 2:45 AM, November 08, 2007  

I just tried turkey jerky recently since I don't eat beef jerky, and I found it disappointing.

RunBubbaRun 5:59 AM, November 08, 2007  

I have a couple of more for your list, but what's not to luv (in a metrosexual way I mean)..

So is number 4, an open invite, I might take you up on in '08 :)

Spandex King 7:04 AM, November 08, 2007  

I'll take door #5. As I eat my low fat breakfast bar and think of your mountain man breakfast!!

Spokane Al 8:55 AM, November 08, 2007  

I don't know - you do seem like kind of a likeable chap - even with that trail of musky scent that is capable of peeling the paint off the walls.

Anonymous,  9:14 AM, November 08, 2007  

#5 did it for me, too!

Allez 10:25 AM, November 08, 2007  

#1 definitely doesn't bother me! Actually, none of them do :-)

teekayes1 11:00 AM, November 08, 2007  

You've got a lot of work to do...I'm +40 in just under 3 months, fire it up!

Lance Notstrong 11:03 AM, November 08, 2007  

I hate you for #5!!! I just want to curl up in bed and have a good cry :-(

You need to post when that event airs on TV, that's cool :-)

Kim 7:23 PM, November 08, 2007  

i hate you cause youre beautiful

bigmike600 7:59 PM, November 08, 2007  

I don't hate the player...I hate the game.

You are lightning fast dude. Sub 19 is amazing. I'm usually happy if I can do sub 19 at mile 2.

I know how you feel about reason 1. You seem to have the same relationship with your wife as I. I couldn't survive without her and she is the best.

Unknown 10:42 PM, November 08, 2007  

Oh Bigmike must have known I would read that one!!
I can overlook 1-4, but #5...... are you freaking kidding me?? All I have to think do is think about and extra 100 cals and a pound of lard lands on my ass. Not fair, but not really your fault so willing to forgive and forget I guess.... ;-0

Jumper 2.0 5:10 PM, November 09, 2007  

Can't hate you for #4. I am also signed up. I will hate you when you kick my ass with the time though!

#5 ? I am neither gaining or losing. Stuck at 222 but want to get to at least 215.

I understand #1, my wife is great too! (when she can tolerate me)

I understand #4! I hate it too!

Herself, the GeekGirl 10:22 AM, November 10, 2007  

We won't hate you for not gaining weight. We just plot ways to sneak fat into your food. Lots of it. Ever seen that episode of "Malcolm in the Middle" where Hal does that? Similar concept.

Michelle 7:07 AM, November 11, 2007  

#1 Pharmie is the best.
#4 I would sign up for the Lifetime Fitness tri just so I could see you guys again.
#5 I thought I could eat...but you waaay surpass me!

Kate 4:09 AM, November 16, 2007  

Yup, for #5 I hate you. YAY for winning!!

I am having to sneak fat into P's food. He's getting all skinny and it makes me look bad.

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