The Best Snot Rocket Form

>> Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sunday evening, just as it was getting dark, I went on a quick 14 mile bike ride. The air was cool, which made me a little sniffley. Normally, I’m not much of a snot-rocket blower (AKA, farmer blow, booger space shuttle, etc). I’m just not good at it. I get snot all over me. But recently, I realized that I was doing it ALL wrong.

If I had a snotty left nostril while biking, in the past I would do it like this: LEFT nostril, RIGHT hand, over LEFT shoulder.

I discovered that this works much better: LEFT nostril, RIGHT hand, under RIGHT arm.





Now that I use this form, I blow good ole’ sticky snot rockets every few miles. And they just sail right behind me. Note: I don’t think this will work while running because it may just end up all over my waist.

So think of Steve in a Speedo the next time you blow a cold-weather snot-rocket on your bike. If you’re used to a different way of doing it, try my new-found form. Remember, I’m here to help YOU.

This “how-to” of “LEFT nostril, RIGHT hand, under RIGHT arm” sounds like the triathlete equivalent of the beauty pageant parade wave mantra: “ELBOW, ELBOW, WRIST, WRIST, WRIST” (or however the hell that goes).

p.s. Let me know if you’ll be at the Reindeer Run this weekend so we can meet up and say hi! (I’m already hoping to meet tzilla)



And check back here after the run for my report – my costume is coming together and it is going to be SPECTACULAR!! Although it’s supposed to be around 10 degrees at the start, so I may have to “warm it up” a little. And don’t look for a top ten finish out of me. Or top 20. Last year, the top ten finished between 16:09 and 17:28. Damn.

p.s.s. I ran some more 1 mile intervals tonight to get ready for, what might be, my last 5K of the year. They were a little faster than my intervals from a week ago, which was surprising because it was 15 degrees with a wind chill of 0. I thought I’d die in that kinda cold. Today, I ran a 5:59, 5:42, 5:34, and 5:33 with about 3 minutes rest in between each. Maybe I can gun for 18:30 on Saturday...

p.s.s.s. The inventor of Gatoraid died today. It is truly a sad day for athletes. Go pour one in the street for our late friend. Rest in peace, good friend.

p.s.s.s.s. Wow, this post has been all over the place! Snot rockets, beauty queens, Reindeer Run, and intervals. I need to calm down a little.

27 comments:

Doug 10:31 PM, November 27, 2007  

If only you had made this post earlier, Steve! I was walking back from swimming tonight and decided a snot rocket would be a wonderful idea.

It wasn't. My jacket agrees. It was gross.

Allison 12:07 AM, November 28, 2007  

Snot rocket form? Duly noted.

I can't wait to see your costume on Saturday!!

Lucinda 3:55 AM, November 28, 2007  

go on dress as a snot rocket!



fatassassin.blogspot.com

Marcy 8:34 AM, November 28, 2007  

I am SOOOO happy that you did this. I've been asking Doug to show me a demonstration for weeks now :P

Anonymous,  9:33 AM, November 28, 2007  

You're helping so many!

During our 5K last week, my husband asked if I had any tissue he could carry along in case he needed to blow his nose. I told him to just do the snot rocket thing (even though I don't). He said he's just not at that level yet. I will be sure to show him this correct form.

jborscheid 9:41 AM, November 28, 2007  

Any plans for the 2008 running season?

Check this out:
http://www.zapevent.com/ListActivities.aspx?eventid=108

Erin 10:22 AM, November 28, 2007  

As usual, hilarious...and in a strange turn for this blog, somewhat useful info :) Thanks for making me laugh, once again!

Anonymous,  11:19 AM, November 28, 2007  

i am planning on running i will try to keep up.

jeremy
(that formerly gimpy guy you met at the chisago him)

Anonymous,  1:35 PM, November 28, 2007  

I commute to work about 20 miles round trip at least 3 days of the week to work on my Bicycle. On this dark, rather cold and snowy morning in the I had several issues with my "farmer blow" skills after not practicing them all summer and fall. I believe a person’s technique is hampered by wearing mittens that open with a flap to expose fingers. The problem is this flap is held in place by a Velcro strip that can really irritate the nose after the "blow” when you follow the blow with a clean up swipe using the back of the mitten and rub your nostril against the Velcro. Do you have any suggestions for me? Perhaps I should Vaseline the nose, purchase different gloves or not swipe after the blow. Is it acceptable to not swipe after the blow??? Also is it acceptable to blow when I am waiting for a traffic light to change and there are people around to witness it or should I use be discrete and wait until the light changes and the traffic is gone???

Jennifer P 1:41 PM, November 28, 2007  

My form is terrible. I get snot all over the place and other people. Never ride with me. Ever.

Lance Notstrong 2:32 PM, November 28, 2007  

I need to use that form when I spit. Yes, I am a "spitter" on the bike :-)

Jumper 2.0 6:14 PM, November 28, 2007  

Your contribution to society cannot be easily put into words. You are amongst big names in history: Aristotle, Plato, Jesus, Franklin, Washington, Jefferson... and Steve.


I'll be at the Reindeer Run. My 12 year old son is running it too as well as my two daughters participating in the 1K.

bigmike600 7:39 PM, November 28, 2007  

You are now tagged as an offical "mucas ejection specialist".. For now the jedi has become the master.

I wish I had more people in my circle that were like you. We sort of share the same sense of humor. Hope you have a great christmas holiday.

IronMin 10:30 PM, November 28, 2007  

Oh, I am so going to revisit my snot rocket technique. I had never considered an under the arm maneuver. This has great potential.

CoachLiz 11:27 PM, November 28, 2007  

Like Lance Notstrong, I am a luggie hocker on the bike. I will have to give your technique a try and see how it goes.

Thanks for the detailed illustrations as well!

Nat 7:54 PM, November 29, 2007  

I have now seen it all on your blog. Yet, I keep coming back for more. Good luck this weekend, that's a fun race.

IronTriTim 8:07 PM, November 29, 2007  

The art of snot rockets.. I learn something new every day!

Greyt Times 6:56 AM, November 30, 2007  

I've never had the nerve to try the snot rocket. Now that I have this very informative guide, I just may go for it.

Shelley 7:01 AM, November 30, 2007  

Well at least I know i'm safe to ride behind you..:-)) I do the very best snot rockets!!

the Dread Pirate Rackham 11:00 PM, November 30, 2007  

I have never heard of a booger space shuttle. I think you must have made that up.

Coach Tammy 9:32 PM, December 02, 2007  

Damn, I've been doing it wrong all this time!! Thank you, thank you, thank you.... and the 2 people behind me thank you as well. hehe.

Air Biscuit,  2:48 PM, April 11, 2008  

A "snot rocket" is a slang term referencing the act of holding one nostril while forcefully exhaling through the other mucous filled nostril resulting in a "rocket"-like projection of mucus from the nose and sinuses. This is also known as a "dustman's flick", "air hanky", "shotgun booger", "farmer's blow", "nose gob", "booger space shuttle", or "farmer's hanky" or more offensively as a "guinea hankerchief" and "dutch hanky."

Anonymous,  8:01 PM, December 12, 2009  

I should notify my pal about your post.

Anonymous,  2:35 AM, March 05, 2010  

It is remarkable, this rather valuable opinion

Anonymous,  8:38 PM, February 06, 2011  

Live every day as though it were your last.

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