“Skinny Don’t Put Your Heel To Your Butt”

Sometime in late April, I was at the Y for a nice swim. It actually was a great swim. I swam 1600 meters in record time, and felt great! During my entire swim, the pool was half full of old ladies on noodles doing Jazzercise or some crap like that. They were in their spot, I was in mine, so everything was fine.

I finished up and sat in the hot tub for a minute or 2 while doing a few hamstring and quad stretches. Shortly after I climbed into the hot tub, the old ladies finished up their “workout.” One of them got a charley horse in the shallow end, and you’d have thought the world was ending. Anyway, a few of the ladies stepped out of the pool and headed for me in the hot tub. I was stretching while using the railing for support, so I kindly moved over a smidge so they could use the railing.

Instantly, 2 of them starting talking about me. They spoke to one another, but they spoke very loudly so that I knew they were talking about me. As I was stretching, I kept hearing:

Old Lady #1: “Oh, look at that! Would cha’ look at that!”

Old Lady #2: He’s so flexible! Oh my!”

I was standing up while doing some quad stretches, so I was holding onto the railing with one hand and pulling my ankle up to my butt with the other. It’s not a fancy stretch. Anyone can do it. You probably do it.

Old Lady #1: “He’s so young and stretchy! I don’t know how he does that – there’s no way I could do that!”

Then I switched legs. It was incredibly shocking for the old women.

Old Lady #1: “Oh, my – he’s got 180 degrees of flexibility! Look at him go!”

Old Lady #2: “He’s so skinny! That’s got to help...”

And then, the best line of the day. No, the best line of the week. Well, maybe the best line of my triathlon training:

Old Lady #1: Well, ‘skinny’ don’t put your heel to your butt!”