Frozen Penis Update

>> Friday, December 14, 2007

Thank you all for the well-wishes, heartfelt advice, and heartless laughs regarding my last post. All is well with Big Steve.

“When you fall off the horse, get right back on again.”

Yesterday, I thought I’d brave the weather again, and try a 6 mile run. The temp was the same as the run a few days before where I froze my willy (20 degrees). Only this time, there were also 15 mph winds (gusting to 30 mph). Much windier. I must admit, I was scared. But this time, I had a plan.

I wore the same outfit, but I “bulked-up” below the belt. I added 2 more layers. First of all, I wore the lucky tighty-whities under everything in order to hold my pork-n-beans against my body. The next added layer was a brilliant invention by yours truly. I took my tee-shirt that I usually wear to the Y, and I wore it like a diaper over my tighty-whities and boxers:


This invention is AKA “I’m-too-cheap-to-go-out-and-buy-wind-
proof-briefs-and-wanted-to-go-on-a-run-without-waiting briefs”

Now, how would the run go? I took off, and headed out 3 miles. Then I turned back into the wind. Around 4 miles in, I had to check my stuff. I stopped at a red light, and slyly brushed my man-parts to check their status (but how stealthily can a guy really fondle his fun-bits out in public?). The man-diaper was holding up, and my boy-parts were toasty warm! I finished in great shape!

On a different note, this is my last request for everyone to vote for “Steve in a Speedo” as Endurance Blog of the Year.” I’ve been floating in second place for the majority of the competition, and voting is over soon (it could be today, sometime over the weekend, or Monday at the latest). First place gets a Rudy Project helmet and sunglasses, which would be sweet! Anyway, please vote for me if you get a chance: http://teamraceathlete.weebly.com/best-blog-award.html. I’m still promising a party at my place for everyone if I win!

Lastly, the best source of news, The Onion, covered the funeral of Robert Cade, the inventor of Gatorade, with a loving and sensitive write-up:

14 comments:

J~mom 2:29 PM, December 14, 2007  

I think you are on to something there. You could definitely market that man diaper.

Marcy 5:53 PM, December 14, 2007  

Why not just buy a box of Depends? :P Not only would they keep you warm but you could piss or shit in them on the run too ;-)

kt 6:09 PM, December 14, 2007  

My husband says that there is NO NEED for a t-shirt diaper. Any old sock would do just fine. You just need that one extra layer.

The diaper is definitely not hot, although quite creative.

Just thought you should get the honest truth.

the Dread Pirate Rackham 9:36 PM, December 14, 2007  

I bought my husband some special wicking manties for running (you know, panties for mans? manties!). I need to go and get him some special windproof manties now for x-mas - thanks for the reminder.

I guess you take this contest thing seriously - good that somebody does!!

Tri-Dummy 8:45 AM, December 15, 2007  

don't those boxers rub your doke too much?

brendaj 9:56 AM, December 15, 2007  

We've been watching "Everest: Beyond the Limit" on tv. Maybe seeing all those other people with bits of them freezing off would have made you feel better in your last post, or have been instructional!

Other funny coincidences...1) I've been thinking about diapers too and 2) Our baby has been nicknamed "Bubby" aka "Bubba" which I hope does not stick!!

cindy 10:24 AM, December 16, 2007  

Again, you're helping others! I did get my husband some cold weather running gear for his protection. The man diaper idea will be a good back-up for when his new stuff is in the laundry though.

RunBubbaRun 9:02 PM, December 16, 2007  

I think that would be alot chafing down under. Plus the wicking stuff makes you feel high and dri and prevents freezer burn..

Don't those deserve the very best high tech fabric has to offer.

SuperLindsRuns 3:28 AM, December 17, 2007  

This is the first time visiting your blog. And let me tell you, a picture of a half naked man sporting his package outfit has me offically hooked. Can't wait to see what's next!!

Wylee 5:56 AM, December 17, 2007  

I LOVE the ONION! The only time I get to read it is when I visit the VAMC, it's the highlight of my trip but lately it hasn't been out in the lobby. I cry real onion tears when it's missing.

The man diaper photo leaves me speechless, which is ok, some things are better left unsaid.

Kim 3:31 PM, December 17, 2007  

what about wrapping your member in one of those thermaheat wraps?
http://www.thermacare.com/products-menstrual.jsp

Caroline Houdek 8:50 PM, December 19, 2007  

Steve-O, how you do it without being creepy is beyond me.

CoachLiz 10:18 PM, December 20, 2007  

love the Gatorade dump in the casket.

What a riot!

Anonymous,  7:41 AM, December 02, 2012  

did you know this isn't as much of a problem for uncircumcised runners? since their head isn't exposed to the cold the foreskin protects it. kind of a natural "one extra layer."

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