Explaining My Smelly Butt

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I was gassy and stinky for my 11 miles on the treadmill yesterday. That's never good news. To make things worse, my lovely wife was running on the treadmill right next to me. Yeah. I'm a GREAT hubby.

We got to the Y for our run. I hoped to go 11, and Pharmie was shooting for 8. We signed up for treadmills side-by-side in the back room of the Y that has about 8-10 treadmills total. I ran to the bathroom quick as my stomach was a little upset. Then I hit the suckmill.

There were a few other people in there. My stomach was upset, and I really need to release some pressure. After a few minutes, I couldn't keep reabsorbing my farts. I had to let a little one slide (I actually started letting about 30% of each fart escape so I wouldn't explode). Yeah, it was the "silent but deadly" variety. My fav. After a second, Pharmie looked at me in the mirror, scrunched her nose, and smiled. I smiled back. After 2 more seconds, she looked back at me again, as if to say, "No, you don't think that was ME? Do you?" (I know her "looks.") I smiled and coyly pointed to myself. She almost started laughing.

The first fart was funny. The remaining 30, well, let's just say the joke got old. Everyone else on nearby treadmills left. The room cleared out. I don't know if they were done, or if they just got gassed out. Pharmie hopped off her treadmill to turn on a big fan, but that wasn't going to help things: she was still down-wind from me. So when I farted, I didn't have to smell it at all, and it just jumped over and clung to her.

I'm joking about this, but I seriously thought there could be a moment when I would have to jump off the treadmill and sprint to the bathroom - my stomach (or GI tract) was NOT happy about something. And it was making Pharmie suffer.

Finally, Pharmie had to move. She jumped off her treadmill and moved over 2 treadmills to the other side of me - UPWIND. After that, she was fine. Our marriage was going to make it! I finished 11 miles (in 1:13), and she finished 8. She's usually the "farter," but I nearly caught up to her with my little bout yesterday.

Alright, I gotta go teach a class. My post below has 2 quick photos from the stinky treadmill session (the photo of Pharmie is her once she moved down to get upwind from my ass), and the post below that has a great photo of my shoulder hair glistening with sweat after 60 minutes on the trainer. Have a good week everyone!

p.s. I TRIED to get in a quick ab workout last night, but it's hard to get motivated when your warm cats curl up on you like this: