I exercise so I can feel dead on the outside, too.
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) April 3, 2014
I love exercising and taking care of my body, it makes me feel good both physically and mentally. I do this 4 to 5 times a year.
— BrainCum (@BrainCum) March 26, 2014
Do people who say, “Exercise helps me relax” know about not exercising?
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) May 24, 2013
Sometimes I think of exercising to relieve stress and then I just get out a brick of cheese.
— Susie Meister (@susie_meister) December 7, 2013
My phone keeps autocorrecting “exercise” to “dreadful idea.”
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) March 24, 2014
Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the most lying down.
— $pencer (@13spencer) March 27, 2014
Hats off to you, girl running down the street with a 12-pack, for efficiently combining exercise and day drinking.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) March 15, 2014
does balancing my checkbook count as exercise
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 3, 2014
No one is more annoying than happy couples out jogging on weekend mornings when I’m so hungover I can barely take the dog outside to pee.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) March 8, 2014
I’m jealous of skinny people … except for when they’re exercising or eating vegetables.
— Schindizzle (@Schindizzle) November 25, 2013
A lot of guys claim they love boobs but I’ve actually done the hard work of eating and not exercising to grow my own.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) November 1, 2013
You burn 77 calories per hour while sleeping. So I’m not “taking a nap”, okay? I’m exercising.
— Jonas Polsky (@JonasPolsky) February 17, 2013
I’m going to start exercising again. For the health benefits, sure, but also for the smugness.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) August 13, 2013
Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) March 5, 2014
some ppl just walk out their door and run. like not 2 arbys or anything just like they go for a run. wtf
— Conor Tripler (@ConorTripler) September 26, 2012
“What the fuck are we doing” – my legs during recreational jogging
— jon (@senderblock23) January 2, 2014
finally tried the whole “jogging” thing. there are people who do this every day?? for longer than ten minutes???
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 6, 2013
Leather jogging pants. Because you hate animals as much as you hate yourself.
— Jaydi Samuels (@JessCallMeJaydi) November 24, 2013
Why can’t a side effect of taking Ambien be sleep exercising?
— MJRiggins (@MJRiggins) March 13, 2013
Lots more funnies on steveinaspeedo.tumblr.com!
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