Friday Funny 28: One of the FEW Ways I Embarrass

I don’t embarrass very easily. If you’ve met me, I bet you knew that. If you haven’t met me, reading a bit of my blog should tell you that too. But there is one consistent way that I get embarrassed.

I have 25 pairs of boxers that I regularly wear.

That’s not the embarrassing part.

The embarrassing part is I suddenly become hyper-aware of what boxers I’m wearing when I’m changing next to a bunch of men at the Y. I don’t want guys my age to think I’m a weirdo. And I don’t want old guys thinking I’m some kind of freak.

The vast majority of my boxers tend to call out: “WEIRDO!” I got out all of my underwear last night. Here’s what I’ve got:

Here’s my “cartoon collection.” Spongebob, Stewie, Tom and Jerry (Tom's on the ass), and Woody:

Here are my 2 Simpson’s boxers:

Here are my “gamer” boxers. Yes, I have TWO Nintendo boxers, and 1 pair of Pac-Man:

Random 4. Pigs, “Property of City Hospital,” Dr. Seuss, and rubber duckies:

Another random 4. Playing cards, TVs, monkeys (with bananas), and smiley faces:

Why in the world do I have camouflaged boxers?!?!? When will these come in handy?!?

My folks got these in Mexico for me. They are REAL comfortable, but I have no idea what it says on the leg. Can someone translate for me?

I have 2 “cereal” boxers. Fruit Loops and Raisin Bran Crunch (the Raisin Bran ones say “Breakfast is Back” across the ass):

I even have 2 pairs for minor holidays (which I wear year-round). Here are my Valentines boxers and my Halloween boxers:

Finally, near the bottom, I FOUND MY 2 PAIRS OF “REGULAR” BOXERS!!

So sometime, if we ever meet, you can ask what boxers I’m wearing. I’ll gladly show you. Right now (with my current underwear selection), there’s a 92% chance that it will be something fun. That’s also a 92% chance that I’ll be freaking out the old guys in the locker room at the Y.

(Remember, voting closes tomorrow in the "Tales of a Virgin Athlete" Contest. Click here to read the entries. Then cast your vote before 10 pm Central time tomorrow night!)