Friday Funny 21: David Hasselhoff

One of the truths you come to learn in life is that there are many cool looks David Hasselhoff can pull off that you simply cannot. Despite how unfair that may be, it’s simply something you have to come to grips with. So, here are 12 Looks David Hasselhoff Can Pull Off, But I Can’t:

The Eye Patch. I operated under the impression that the Hoff lost an eye in a freak cigar accident for roughly two years after seeing this look.

Cuddling with Two Puppies. How does he look so masculine when it makes me look so femmy?

Cuddling with Two Puppies Naked. The Hoff is making it clear how much he owns me.

The Speedo / Leather Jacket Combo. I have neither the chest hair nor the package to pull this off. Well, maybe 1 out of 2...

Camo Shorts. Remember that time you tried on a pair and looked like a douche? Yeah, the Hoff didn’t have that problem.

Drunk and Shirtless Eating a Cheeseburger. Before I watched this video, it would have been impossible to believe someone could pull this off with such class and dignity. Just score another one for the Hoff.

The "Anaconda 3" Poster. If there’s another mutha in showbiz who’d look like they’re taking this role so seriously, we’re not aware of him.

Rocking a T-Shirt That References You in Third Person. For starters, my last name isn’t all that pun worthy. And no one is printing t-shirts about me.

The Lifeguard Look. No one ever starts singing "I'll be there…" to themselves when they see me holding a red buoy over my shoulder.

Looking Surprised on a Rope Swing. That’s all talent folks. No way around it.

Practicing Chipping in Drag. Well, chipping in drag is easy - doing it in front of a cardboard cutout of yourself is the hard part.

And Crying on American Idol. How is it that my friends would still be punching me in the junk if I teared up on Idol, yet the Hoff seems all the more awesome for it?