Help Me Rid My Body Of Hair!

>> Tuesday, June 26, 2007

So I have this problem. It’s a little personal for some of you, so I apologize if this gets a little intimate for anyone.

Here I go: I have a lot of body hair. There. I said it. Phamie has never really liked it. I’m frankly a little annoyed with it myself. I’m not SUPER hairy, but I have new little patches that pop up now and then. I always said that sometime in July, I would get rid of it. All of it. In the name of IronMan. However, I’m afraid of something like this happening:



(Side note: the behind the scenes footage from the shooting of that scene is great as well. I love the back-to-back clips that show Steve Carell saying other possible naughty words. Check it out below.)



So, back to my issue, I would like some outside help. I don’t need help in physically removing the hair, but I would like advice as how to go about making this body of mine smooth. I’m afraid of waxing. Pharmie once tried to wax 2 little sections of my back, and I broke out HORRIBLY the next day (we called it my case of “back herpes”). The thought of waxing my chest frightens me. Shaving doesn’t sound too appealing. I’ll maybe shave my legs, but not my chest. I like the idea of Nair, but I don’t know if it would be too harsh on my skin. Maybe I could just tweeze each individual hair...

I just don’t know the best thing to do. I would love to hear from you. What have you done that has worked well or has worked poorly? I don’t want a lot of pain, and I’d like to keep the irritation to a minimum. I’m BRAND NEW at this. Please help. Thanks!

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Unjust Blog Rating

>> Friday, June 22, 2007

So I tried one of those fun/stupid blog/myspace things. This one gives you’re blog a rating similar to movie ratings. This is what mine said:

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating


“WHAT?!?” I didn’t know why it was so harsh. It explained it below.



I can understand “ass” and “kill” and even “suck,” but “lesbian??” I mean, LESBIAN?!? When did that become such a horrible word?!? This is 2007 for cryin’ out loud – not 1940 Nazi Germany! I do not approve!

So, I guess from now on, when I drop something on my foot, instead of swearing, I’ll say something like “AAWWWW LESBIAN!!!”

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A Couple Of Lists...

>> Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Top Five Signs I’m A IM Wanna-be / Blogger

• When spell check gives the “correct” suggestion for Trisaratops, it looks absolutely foreign to me.

• I’m already deciding where to put my tattoo. You know, THE TATTOO.

• In conversation I’ve been referring to my wife as Pharmie, her blogger name.

• When I’m out on a workout, I’m secretly hoping for something strange, dramatic, or crazy to happen so I’ll have something to write about.

• Suddenly, I’ve been thinking that I’m WAY too hairy.


Top Reasons I SHOULDN’T Become IM

• I’ve never had a flat on any of my bikes. Not one.

• I miss recreational bike rides.

• My tri bike only cost $800. And that included the aero bars and all.

• I’m not into gadgets. I don’t have a heart rate monitor, a power meter, or anything else fancy like that. My bike computer doesn’t show cadence. And it’s not wireless. Well, I guess it’s not that I don’t like gadgets - it’s just that I’m cheap.

• I still giggle when anyone brings up “Body Glide.” I mean, it’s lube in deodorant form - how crazy! “Stay dry and confidant while you become slippery and greasy ALL OVER!”

• I learned how to swim from a DVD. And I’m not even doing it right.

• My nutrition is crap. Right before my last 2 mile swim, I had nachos with cheese, a piece of sting cheese, and a boat-load of cottage cheese. Apparently I have a thing for processed dairy. It showed up again right after the swim.

• I still refer to my swims as “2 miles” instead of “3200 meters” as I should be. I know there are many swimmers/triathletes out there that hate this. Deal with it.

• I’m WAY too hairy

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First Catcall of 2007

>> Saturday, June 09, 2007

Regarding my previous post about my ups-and-downs, I’m currently riding an “up” high. I had a great 6.5 mile run. [Side note: this is the LONGEST run I’ve been able to do in about a year. It went well. I had some knee pain, but nothing serious. I averaged under 8 minute miles, and finished in 50:44. MAJOR STEP FORWARD!]

About 4 miles into the run, I was crossing Lexington at the stoplight on Summit, and I was running in front of 2 women in a sporty little car. As I ran past, I received my first catcall of the year. Minnesota’s been chilly lately, but it was a nice warm afternoon, so I was running with my shirt off. Pharmie had just mentioned that I was losing some of my extra chub and was getting buffer and buffer. But still, I was surprised to get a catcall. Oh, and my penis was hanging out a little. That maybe had something to do with it.

The catcaller was probably a little drunk. And blind in one eye. And by the sound of her “WHHOOOO,” she’s a little tone deaf as well. Well, beggars can’t be choosy.

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Ups and Downs

My knee has been doing whatever it wants to lately. I had an OK week last week where I was able to go on a decent 30 mile bike ride and a couple of good runs. Not to mention the duathlon, which was a pretty successful test for my knee - I feel like it passed with about a B, maybe a B+. Regardless, it went better than I thought it would, and the pain was minor - something I could work through with little problem.

But then this past week I went on a 35 mile bike ride. About 26 miles into the ride, I had some sharp knee pain. A few miles later, I actually had to stop because of the sharp pain. I stretched for a few minutes, and took off again. Three miles later, I was knocked out again. I had to stop 4 times in the last few miles in order to get through it. I’ve never had pain like that on the bike. But then the next day I had a good 2500 meter swim, with a nice run the next day.

All of this is just frustrating. Last summer, my knee was fine. I could bust out a 60 mile ride with no problem. If I had been training for IM last year, it would have been going much better. I’m just starting to get pissy about this post and I don’t really think this is going anywhere, so I’m just going to stop writing (not forever, just on this post).

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Apple Duathlon (part 2)

>> Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Here are a few more photos from the Duathlon a week and a half ago:







I’m not as strong on the bike now as compared to last year, but my short-distance running is a bit better (my knee usually craps out at 4 miles). The bike was HORRENDOUSLY windy for the last 9 miles, but I made it through. Overall, it was a good time.

At the Apple, I met a fellow blogger named Cadesdad. Well, I sort of met him. If you haven’t already noticed, I try to be a friendly fella. So whenever I passed anyone during the bike, I said “Good morning” or “Nice job” or “What are your views on capital punishment” – you know, something friendly. Around five miles in, I said “Good morning” to the person I was passing, and I heard back “Hey, Steve Stenzel!” I was shocked. I said “How do I know you?” He replied, “I’m Cadesdad.” But I heard “I’m Kate’s Dad.” I was trying to think of all of the Kate’s that I’ve taught over the years, and I couldn’t figure out who he would be the father of. I asked “Kate who?” He replied, “No, Cadesdad.” “Kate who?” I asked again. Again I heard “No, CADESDAD!” He finally said “Just go on!” As soon as I pulled away from him, I thought, “OOHHHHH, CADESDAD!” I felt like an ass. A super ass. I looked for him at the finish, but I couldn’t find him. Oops.

My official results:
5K run - 22:22 (7:12 / mile ave)
T1 - 1:28
33K bike - 1:07:51 (18.1 mph ave)
T2 - 1:05
5K run - 21:52 (7:03 / mile ave)
Total - 1:54:36

Tack on a 2 minute penalty for “equipment abandonment” because my race number flew off part way through the bike, and my official total is 1:56:36. With that penalty assessed, I placed 151 out of a field of nearly 300. Nothing fancy, but fun nonetheless.

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