Friday Funny 63: Six Reasons I Hate Long Beach

>> Friday, November 20, 2009

#1: The food was terrible, so I had to hunt my own:

I better like Moose meat - I now have 15 moose to deal with...

#2: The local birds are hostile:

Little bastard.

#3: The public restrooms were scary to say the least:

No soap? What is this?... Canada?!?

#4: There were tampons in the street:


#5: The sea life was horny:


#6: I got crabs:

Technically, it was just ONE very LARGE crab, but this dude is reeking havok on my pubes!! There’s not enough prescription “Crab-Be-Gone” shampoo in the WORLD to make him go away!

(Great. I’ve managed to piss off Californians and Canadians in the same post. I’m quickly adding to my list of “places I can’t go because the people there will kill me.” Dang.)

Hannah (a CVA Tri Club student) and I are doing another indoor triathlon on Sunday! So check back on Monday for our race report and photos! Wish us luck!


Polz├║nkov 7:09 AM, November 20, 2009  

Good luck Hannah and Steve!!!
Have an awesome (triathlon) weekend!

teacherwoman 7:17 AM, November 20, 2009  

HAHA! Great post!

Good luck this weekend. I will be in the cities, but won't be able to join you in the tri... I am going to the Vikings game!

Greenking17 "TRI-harder" 8:05 AM, November 20, 2009  

Is that a cigarette butt under the tampon?

Nice post...looking forward to hearing about the Indoor tri!

Carolina John 8:15 AM, November 20, 2009  

have fun sunday! I'd say those giant crabs are enough reason to hate long beach and canadians. but i actually like canadians.

Steve Stenzel 8:26 AM, November 20, 2009  

Yeah, Carolina John, I've had good experiences with Canadians too. Good people. And yes Greenking, that is a butt under the tampon. Nice, huh.

Aka Alice 10:09 AM, November 20, 2009  

I will point were in Long Beach...not the nicest part of SoCal, and might be, in truth, the worst part. I mean Long Beach? Seriously?

Next time come to San Diego, our public restrooms usually have soap :-)

Keith 10:57 AM, November 20, 2009  

Hey! We'll still let you come to Canada, just not direct from Long Beach and it's lack of soap. What with all the snow and -100 degree weather you know, we're indoors a lot and take our hygiene very seriously.

amybee 12:27 PM, November 20, 2009  

good luck with the tri this weekend. Take care of that crab. Maybe you can trade your extra moose with Sarah Palin. Perhaps a one-way ticket out of the U.S.?

Evita 1:13 PM, November 20, 2009  

Hey Steve

Okay that was hilarious!!!

Like Keith said, I guess we'll still let you come to Canada...LOL

I laughed the most about the bathrooms. As I was walking along one pier area I thought I would use one and walked out as quickly as I walked in. The women's bathrooms had no doors and only half walls. It was the craziest thing I have ever seen! I guess people there don't mind.

Great shots from the aquarium too!

Anonymous,  1:36 PM, November 20, 2009  

Wrong. We'll make you GOVERNOR-GENERAL, for getting us right, for telling us the truth about ourselves....

I used to travel in the Stats, usually by Amtrak. I noticed the people were friendlier, they looked you in the eye when they talked to you, they drove you to the station when you were stranded and they didn't know you, they even gave you larger portions in fast-food restaurants....

I remember getting into a very interesting conversation with someone on the way to that big station in Philadelphia. He offered to buy me a drink during my stop-over, so we could continue our conversation. I brushed him off, with an obvious and very cheesy evasion. He observed that Canadians were nice, just not very friendly.

He was right, and so are you. Only it's more than bad washrooms....

Sorry, this is probably out of place, but I hate it when people apologize for their insight. Don't apologize. To paraphrase Ralph Ellison, keep running!

Trishie 5:31 PM, November 20, 2009  

^^that's what she said, liz !!

Anne 7:24 AM, November 21, 2009  

Somehow I feel I must defend Long Beach, but being a San Diegan, it's hard to do.

Jim Smith II 11:23 AM, November 21, 2009  

Anne is right, I love SoCal, but the LBC? Not so much...

Good luck this weekend Steve (and Hannah)!!

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