I Just Remembered...
>> Wednesday, March 25, 2009
When I was finishing my run at the indoor triathlon a few weeks ago, I grabbed the heart-rate monitor handles on the treadmill so I didn’t collapse when I was finished. The screen immediately started scrolling something like this across it:
IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED THAT YOU CONTINUE!!
I don’t know what my heart-rate was, but I’m sure it was through the roof. And the machine wanted me to stop. But I have a theory: the machines want to keep us from getting TOO fit so that when they start to take over the world, there will be less resistance from super-fit humans.
That’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it.
But maybe I’ve seen “Terminator 2” too many times...
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38 comments:
Thank Goodness a siren didn't go off and the machine didn't say something like
"DANGER, GET OFF THE MACINE NOW FATTY"
I think it's a pretty valid theory. The t-mill at my gym would curiously just shut off when I got into a good rhythm. The claim was that it had an electrical shortage that needed repair, but I'm beginning to see it your way...
My Garmin has readings that scroll across like...
"Your way to slow, speed up."
or
"You Rock Sista."
or
my favorite
"That's the way it's done girl!"
It just knows...which is eery.
Wow...can't say I've ever seen or heard of that. I'd love for that to happen to me. Not sure I'd be so brazen as to brag about it, though.
Ha Ha, Just kidding! Nice run! Look out, Nawwlens!
LOL funny. Good theory. I've seen it say that it's not recommended to run while holding onto the handles... probably the TM wanting to fall off the back of it :)
Have you seen Wall-E? Just reminded me of the world full of un-fit humans who don't even get out of their electric chairs...
If I got a message like that I might take it as a sign to never ever get on a treadmill again.
Hilarious!
That'd make me feel like I hadn't done a really good workout until it told me to quit again.
I see that message when running at more than like 3.5 MPH - it says it is unsafe to hold the handles at high speeds.
this one time, on a long run, my heart rate monitor just kept getting tighter and tighter until I could barely breathe. My face was red, my breathing was raspy, I just picked up the pace, ran home into my kitchen, and cut the damn thing off with a cleaver. It landed on the floor - in the shape of a smile. I don't use it anymore.
I love that theory!
Hilar. T minus 12 and counting to NO.
You must have really been hauling *ss on that thing! I HATE treadmills (see my blog), so the screen would have said...
SUCKER! I WILL BEAT YOU TO THE GROUND!
...or something like that.
Treadmills taking over the world-- may I never live to see the day.
Did you just find the root of the obesity problem???
Live it, man! And DO NOT buy a Roomba. You never know when you'll come home and find the locks on the doors have been changed.
That's one bossy treadmill!
Love it! Of course it would have scared me and I would have listened to it and probably never gotten near a treadmill again - but brave you! Way to beat the machine logic!
Love the logic!
Too funny -- thanks for the laugh! :-)
haha! You're going to have to do it again to find out what the HR was! :)
lol looove that theory :)
That's crazy! They probably are trying to keep us down.
Terminator 2, Wall E....for some reason I'm thinking of that movie Maximum Overdrive. You know, where the semis get minds of their own? Sigh.
LOL....I tried that at the Y and the t-mill said the handles wouldn't work at the speed I was at.
bury that t-mill into the ground.
Pffftt! Like I'm gonna take advice from a machine that let's anyone walk all over it!
Have some self-respect, treadmill! Then maybe we'll talk.
Great theory! LOL!
I think you're right: The machines are already building up an offensive strategy.
I can't help but wonder what would have happened if instead of the warning it slammed to a stop...
I'll bet with your pace/gait you would gone flying over the display end over end like a football RB getting hit hard at the ankles.
Come on, where are the pictures of that!?
Sounds like a logical theory to me...
... but then, I've watched Terminator 2 a whole lot myself.
It sounds like the machine hasn't come across very many real athletes. It must have been confused.
Bad machine...bad!
I have been reading your blog for some time now. I like reading your training stories, seeing pictures and race reports.
Anyway, I cant believe the treadmill said that. That is nuts
Oh goodness, something similar happened to me today. I never touch the handles on the treadmill, and today was no exception. However, during the last half mile of only a 3.5 mile run, the screen kept changing to say "Heart rate dangerously high!" I couldn't figure out how it thought that when I hadn't even touched the thing. Interesting theory you have...
Ummm, yikes!!!
Yes, it is a big conspiracy. It falls in there with the conspiracy to convince people that High Fructose Corn Suryp is actually healthy for you. Have you seen those TV commercials???
I about fell out of my chair the first time I saw it. And the WHO wonders why Americans are obese.
I for one welcome the arrival of our electronic workout overlords. Perhaps they'll get to the point where they take some readings at the starting line, declare a winner, and we can all avoid that icky sweating.
(for the humour impaired of you, that's sarcasm, with a hint of satire.)
how do you come up with this stuff? i hope you added on at least another 10 minutes of running to show the tm who's boss
I like your theory, but I think if you're TOO fit, then you don't need the treadmill. At that point the poor machine would be forced to self-destruct.
That is hilarious! I think I have found a new treadmill running goal for myself, haha.
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