5 Legitimate Reasons For You To Hate Me

There are countless illegitimate reasons for you to hate me (you don’t like my natural musk, you think the idea of “lucky” running apparel is stupid, your significant other has an unhealthy obsession with my blog, etc), but I see a few stone-cold, admissible, and completely legitimate reasons for you to dislike me:

1. I have a super hot wife.
Pharmie’s just the best. She’s kind, funny, sweet, soft in all the right places, and just an outstanding person to share my life with. She texted me last night during my night class to let me know that she had made homemade guacamole and that it would be waiting in the fridge when I got home. What a sweetie! AND, she’s into multi-sport events to boot! Perfection!!

2. I trained all year for an Ironman, and wound up winning a short little 5K last weekend.
I don’t know how this happened. My body is trained to go slow for a long time. *wink* *wink* So busting out a winning 5K time of 19:11 shocked me. But I only won because there were only about 50 people there. Still, I shouldn’t be this fast right now.

3. I’m a hairy, hairy beast.
Oh wait, that’s a reason that I hate myself. Nevermind. Great, now I’m depressed. Moving on...

4. I’m signed up for the Lifetime Fitness Triathlon and you’re not.
It’s a great event held at Lake Nokomis in Minneapolis. Pharmie and I are signed up for the oly next year (there’s also a sprint). It’s televised nationwide on NBC later that day (or the next weekend – I forget). Sign up! We’ll see you there! And we have a guest bedroom if you’d like to come into town for it and need a place to stay!

5. I’m still not gaining much weight.
This one’s a special reason for the ladies to hate me (not that guys won’t hate me for this one too). After Ironman, my workouts have been DRASTICALLY reduced. But my food intake really hasn’t changed. I still eat like a hog, and I’m not eating good food (for example: last night, during my rush off to teach my evening class, my supper consisted of a few handfuls of candy corn thrown in my jacket pocket and a package of turkey jerky – lemme tell ya, that’s NOT a pleasant funk). Two days after Ironman, I weighed 151.0 pounds. This morning, 2 months after Ironman, I weighted 152.4 pounds. 1.4 pounds. And most of that is body hair. Seriously. Huh...if my scale were more precise, I may have found out that I’ve gained 1.406 pounds. Interesting...